A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I feel like an idiot for writing this but here goes. My wife and I have been married over 13 years with 2 kids and one on the way. Anyway she opened up a face book account and is now "friends" with her old boyfriend online. She never tried to hide it and all of the sudden out of the blue it hit me and really bugged me. I am a fairly logical person but for some insane reason this bugs me. It shouldn't right. I mean I even worked with the guy for a few months a couple of years after my wife an I were married. I spend more time beating my self up for these silly feelings. I trust my wife, know she loves me, but for whatever reason this bothers me. Any suggestions?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): Your a logical guy, you love the woman, she's in touch with her ex, your jealous, all is normal. You love her, it's just occurred to you that she might leave you if she wants. She loved before, she can love again, she might just run off with some guy she's been talking to online. Crazy, yes I know, but that's how love goes sometimes. Your jealous because you are human and you are in love. She hasn't done anything wrong, you know she loves you, but this is just one of those crazy human emotions that we feel.
Don't stop her talking to this guy, but do tell her how you feel. Tell her your starting to feel jealous and you know how much you love her and how much it would hurt to loose her. Tell her your getting crazy emotions and wanting to lock her away in the cupboard just in case somebody tries to steal her away. It's a joke, this whole illogical, emotional stuff that goes along with love and interferes with our lives, what can you do except to laugh at these crazy feelings. She loves you, she's decent, she's not gonna cheat, she hides nothing away from you. Your normal, this is just the crazy consequence of loving somebody deeply. Truly illogical.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): It bothers you. Tell her that it bothers you. And for that simple fact, she should stop. I wouldn't want my husband to "chat up" an ex. It's inappropriate.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): I would simply say i've noticed you are in contact with your old boyfriend, is it o.k if i look up some of my old girlfriends i just sometimes wonder how they are fairing in life.
That should do the trick.
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A
male
reader, agtorange +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Having someone on your facebook doesn't make them a friend. I have my ex-grilfrind on my facebook, I haven't talked to her in years.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): why don't you open a facebook account and become friends with her. that way you can see her profile and wall to see if he is writing anything weird or you can see wall to wall posts
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A
female
reader, BlueCherry  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Well, sure.. you got every right to be jealous. On the other hand, you seem to be pretty aware and confident of the love and trust you have for your wife. Perhaps a nice conversation with her where you can express your concerns and feelings will show her your view on the situation, but will also assure her of the trust you have and the freedom you're giving her.Best regards,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): It would bother me a little bit too you're not insane. If she starts behaving differently like staying out all night or something THEN you should talk to her.
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