A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a 46 year old male. Happily married for 25 years. I love my wife and she loves me.Sex was great until 3 years ago, when I first started to experience erectile difficulties, then loss of sex drive, and now I have no desire for sex, not even masturbation, no reaction to porn. Feels like sex just totally cut out from my life. Night erections still present.I am not taking any medication. Not diabetic.No cardiovascular problems. No difficulty with sleeping.Not overweight.Not clinically depressed.No alcohol, minimal caffeine.Doctors checked testosterone levels, it was at the lower end, but within normal range. I went to see a urologist who did some further testing and started me on testosterone replacement therapy. That seemed to slightly increase my libido, but did nothing for the weak erections. I stopped the testosterone shots after 6 month, as it didn't give me the results I expected, and also because I've read that artificial replacement can cause the body to stop making his own.Tried Viagra/Cialis/Levitra These work to a certain degree, but I got severe side effects, especially from Cialis.Tried herbal remedies: Horny Goat Weed, Maca, Tribulus - no real results.Went to see doctor, urologist, psychologist, sex therapist, acupuncturist, naturopath - so far no change.Is there anyone out there with a similar problem? What else can I do? This is extremely frustrating for both of us.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bobs7ven +, writes (22 January 2009):
Thanks for all the replies.
To female reader anonymus:
As you discribed your friend got results almost immediately after testosterone shots. That's what I was hoping for, but I only had very SLIGHT improvement in libido, and no improvement in ED.
To pvtguy:
Yes stress can be an issue. I've had more than my fair share in stress over the years - chronic, long term stress. Long lasting issues with kids, financial pressure and overwork. But... I've had the same thing for many years before, and it did not effect my sex life until three years ago.
I am pretty sure that there are plenty of guys out there who are older than me, smoke, drink, and stressed from financial problems, and still have no problem in bed.
To the anonymous reader who asked if my wife tries to help any way:
Yes she did try things, both orally and manually... things that would blow my mind before. Sometimes I do get an erection, for half a minute, I would say about 80% as strong as it used to be, but it quickly disappears.
When we have sex (or rather: try to) it usually goes like that I do get an erection, but it never goes up to more than 80%. It's barely strong enough to start sex, but once I am "in" it quickly goes down, and I also have a very short "attention span", I only last for 60 seconds... which is not at all how it used to be. We were very synchronized before.
To MutantKitten:
Yes we went to a sex therapist. We got suggestions like use toys... That is something that we never did and very reluctant to try. One of the "homework" I got from a sex therapist is to try masturbating. I was barely able to do it once... has absolutely no desire to do it (a few years ago that wouldn't have been a problem). I do feel depressed, but I think it's more like a reaction the sexual problem then the cause of it. When I fill out a depression test I don't "qualify" for major depression (I am not suicidal, don't have crying spells, etc.)
To DoubleM:
I tried it. I tried a pump also. Horrible experience...
Bob
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): I just had a conversation with a friend of mine from GYM. He is about your age, and he told me that about a year ago he started feeling a little off. He went to check his testosterone level -it was low, but not terribly. His doctor got him on hormone replacement therapy. He immediately felt better. He started loosing a little exess of weight, became more alive overall and his sex life improved significantly. Seemed like you tried something like that already. You love your wife, but you've been together for many years, that's creates habituation that kills passion unfortunately. I am just trying to find explanation, since you've tried already so many things. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): Hi,
Do you have other things making you mind concerned. Unsecure about future, money, job, childeren, etc? Are you smoking too much, lack of sleep for a long periode.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): Hi, This is not meant to insult you.I would like to ask if your wife has tried to help in anyway?I know you say that you both love each other, thats great but do you have any other hidden worries??? that you don't dare to discuss.If not then your wife could try to help withdifferent techniques, oral, positions, touching that may help to turn you on.It seems that you have the negative thought and frustrations as a block before you start.You have night time erections so this is probably a good time to experiment.I wish you both all the best.
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A
female
reader, MutantKitten +, writes (21 January 2009):
 I know you've seen doctors, but have you tired a sex therapist yet?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 Good grief ! Please let us all know if you figure this out. You seem to have eliminated all the usual factors, and attempted most if not all the remedies with the possible exception of cock rings. But I have not yet had to go that route.
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