A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi people as i live with my boyfriend for over a year, i just thought to use his fone to txt one of my friends then i relaised that he has girls as friends that he never told me abut and they been texting for awhile and im not sure whether to tell him what ive seen or not plz help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 This is Denise32 again. So you see, from what the other aunts have said, you may very well have nothing to worry about!
A
female
reader, aroura +, writes (24 October 2010):
I don't suppose you have any male friends that you text? huh? Don't get worked up before you know there's something to worry about! it may benothing to worry about. and you acting all weird and jealous and stuff will doesn't help anything, whether there's anything going on other than texting or not. maybe he just needs a female friend to be a friends with!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Just because he has friends who are girls doesn't mean he's cheating on you with them. Been together a year and you haven't met any of his friends? Before you go drawing conclusions, just simply ask him who these girls are. Ask if you can meet them, possibly they want to come over one night for dinner and bring their boyfriends or current flames. Then you can judge whether or not they're after your man. If he had something to hide he wouldn't leave those messages on his phone, much let you use his phone. More than likely these girls are just his friends...My best friend is a male. He and my husband get along great. No worries.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): Wow...he has friends who are girls, I mean im sure you have friends who are boys? People can be together and still have close friends who are the opposite sex, unless there texts that say stuff you should be worried about then leave it, his a human, he can have friends of the opposite sex.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 October 2010):
I think you should let him know you found texts from him to other girls and see how he responds. Its not as if you were deliberately snooping to see what you could discover, after all.
True, it would have been better if he had told you he was doing this, though. Perhaps they are no more than platonic friends he's in touch with - is it possible he knew them before he met you? - and that there's nothing more to it than that?
Keep in mind that people can be in committed relationship and still have friends of the opposite sex. Nothing wrong with it, PROVIDED its no more than "just friends" and no emotional/sexual involvement. Sometimes "you" can get together with such a friend for lunch or coffee occasionally, and/or better yet, invite your bf/spouse/significant other to be part of having coffee or lunch, too. The thing is, if its genuinely innocent then there's nothing to hide; nothing for "you" to feel threatened by........just talk to your bf without getting upset or accusing him of anything, and see how he responds.
Good luck!
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