A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in a huge fix.I've fallen for somebody who doesnt want a relationship with me.He's scared of commitment and also according to him our schedules dont allow us to see each other enough anyways.We met almost a year ago,and I kind of assumed he didnt want a true relationship because he never spoke of it,and thats a pretty obvious sign.But I kept seeing him.And told myself that it's ok,im not going to let myself get crazy over him.Im just going to enjoy what we have,and thats all.Well,I recently told him we should be just friends.No intimacy,no kissing,no anything.And he still keeps calling me beautiful,calling to wish me a good day on my voicemail while im working,and just generally acting like he can say whatever the heck he wants even though we are supposed to be strictly friends now.Im really getting upset because I have developed feelings for him,and I dont think he knows im hurting.But I AM,and when he says these things I just get so angry.I dont feel like he has the right to act that way if he's unable to offer me what im looking for.Its getting to the point where I can feel myself getting ready to explode and just unleash all of these feelings on him,and I dont think he would be expecting it and it might end our friendship.I dont know what to do.I feel like im depressed and all I want to do is just sleep.I just finished crying and begging the lord to take me with him and get me out of this miserable world.It's the most awful feeling in the world when somebody that you want to be with,doesnt want you.Especially after basically dating them for a year almost.The only thing that kept us from being a couple,is the label.I can't be friends with him if he doesnt stop sweet talking me.I dont want him to act sweet,I want him to treat me as he would any other friend so that I can move on with my life and forget about all of this.
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (14 November 2009):
 I agree with the others...you need to tell him how you feel and what you want. You've set up this boundry with him about being friends but did you ever tell him why? Men can not read our minds and it sounds like this guy does want to be more than friends. Soon567 is right, love is hard to find and the best loves stem out of friendships. Give it a chance. Give him a chance to respond.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (14 November 2009):
 You need to set some boundaries with him. Tell him that now you've transitioned to a friendship, he can't call you as often nor can he leave sweet nothings on your voicemail. Tell him how much this is hurting you and that you need space from him. Hopefully he's a decent guy and he'll understand what you need. If not, enforce it yourself. Delete his calls and don't see him as often.
I'm sorry you're in this situation. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, fairytail +, writes (14 November 2009):
 I suggest you confront and tell him how you feel...
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