A
male
age
41-50,
*oe31
writes:Hey everyone:My ex-girlfriend broke up with me last Friday night. Prior to that, it was a long month whereby she first wanted a break, proceeded by us breaking up for a a couple days, then getting back to "try" (she wanted to try), me not giving her space (i panicked) and pleaded with her and then me backing off a bit. We spoke a little and she eventually agreed to meet with me for the day (she said she had a good time afterwards), and then things seemed ok for about 10 days with us speaking daily and briefly. She told me during this time to just tell people when they ask our status that "its complicated." Then the week before she broke up with me (when things seemed like they were getting better and she was "trying"), she decided she wanted to come see me on that Saturday and never showed up. I was upset and told her I didn't care about her not coming. Rather, I was upset that she didn't call or tell me and never showed after I changed plans to see her. We didn't speak for 4 days until I sent her an email asking about our status and if we are officially broken up.She called me after the email and agreed we would talk the following weekend (last friday). I couldn't control myself and sent like 4 emails and when we spoke friday night she blew up on me. She told me its over, she told people she is single, I need to get over her, move on, i was pathetic, and to deal with it. I pushed her and tried to rationalize, etc (big mistake) and caused the blow up. Needless to say I got the picture and told her I would never contact her unless she contacted me first. She said, "you better promise me that."Saturday was tough. Then sunday at a baseball game she called and i picked up. She sounded pissed and asked where I was and who I was with. I told her I was at the game with an older female friend (she knows her). She sounded pissed and I asked if I could call her afterwards and she said fine. She never returned my call that night.Late on Sunday night I sent her a text, "sorry we couldnt catch up. Have a safe trip this week. Your gonna do great." That monday was her first day at a new job whereby she will be on the road for 20 weeks a year (awful). Anyway no response.No contact since then until tonight when I get a missed call from her at 10pm. Then she sends a text at 10:30am "hey."I never responded to either. At this point I want to know what to do. Should I call her back tomorrow? Should I send an email? What should I say?I love this girl and want to reconcile but at the same time dont want to go through the emotional ringer again....FYI, we broke up because I was studying for 5 months and working and spent little time with her. She said little things that bothered her ate her up and she is "numb" to me now (doesn't love me like before). Also she started a new job two weeks ago she is stressing about due to all the travel. Sorry for the long one!!!!!
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male
reader, Joe31 +, writes (1 October 2010):
Joe31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks John. It seems like NC worked to get her to cool off, but most importantly it has given me some time to reflect and to calm down. I am feeling pretty good today as opposed to the last few days and I am afraid to speak to her and feel like crap again.
My guess is that she only wants to say she was sorry for talking to me and her feelings havent changed. Not that I expect different, but again, I do not want to have to go back to square one. Moreover, she was probably lonely in her hotel room and figured Id talk to her and it would be a confidence boost for her.
Again, I want to reconcile, but I also dont want to be strung out with her giving me hope so she can keep me on the back burner should a new guy fall through.
Its a tough spot so I think I will ignore the last two messages and if she calls again maybe I will answer her. Until then I will continue with no contact. She was the one that dumped me....
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