A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm scared! i've been single for 4.5 years now, I've had flings and dates etc nothing more than a few weeks. My last boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me and got the other girl pregnant. I took it very badly at the time the break up was slow and prolonged (8 months)and I'm still in contact with his family today. To Top it off I'd just had a termination as the timing wasn't right for me to have a baby my boyfriend had said... Now I'm seeing a lovely man he's 36 I'm 30, He's catholic so I don't really have to worry about him going off and sleeping with other women, He hasn't slept with me yet. But I'm still scared, I'm getting that all too familiar panicky feeling, he's away right now and is up all night partying probably with women involved and I'm at home feeling really insecure! Am I going to feel this way about every man? How do I stop feeling so insecure in a relationship? I've really only been with this new guy a total of 6 weeks since beginning of feb as he's been travelling. He's coming back in 3 weeks and I just want to feel confident about us when he come home Thanks
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cheated on me, insecure Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 I'm glad I've helped you. I hope you will find everlasting, fulfilling happiness with this man. You deserve this.
We're here for you who feel down and insecure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your answer, I know i'm being silly and the new man in my life is lovely, nothing like the last one. I think I'm ready to be brave and trust this man, I don't think he will let me down, once again thank you for your reply it cheered me up when I was feeling a bit low and insecure
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (27 July 2007):
There is no way to guarantee that a man you come across will be a good man. But, there isn't any guarantee, either, that every man will be bad to you.
What your boyfriend did, which was awful, has absolutely nothing to do with what this new man will do. Rather than suspecting him from the very beginning, you should give this new man the benefit of doubt. He may well be very respectful of your feelings.
This is what you need to bear in mind. Give him, and yourself, an opportunity to have a relationship of trust. If you suspect him so early, you will spoil the relationship.
Some people have been let down and cheated on several times, but they keep a happy perspective. They know that someday they will come across someone who will truly love them. This will happen to you, too; maybe it already has.
I wish you the best.
I think you should have a positive attitude. The basic truth is, what a man did is not really a clue about what another will do. What your boyfriend did You will come across a man who will not cheat on you and will not give you the awful treatment you received from your exboyfriend.
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