A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am going to see a movie at 7.00 with my friend/co worker. I think he's really cute. My friend thinks he may have a crush on me. And I do on him. He is leaving in a vew days to go to college, I'm only 2 years younger than him. I don't know why it starts so early but it does. His college actually isn't that far from me, tis about 30 min give or take. We tend to make tentitive plans that never happen. Like I say we should go to the diner and he'll be like that would be great we should also go to the beach one day too. But it never happens. If there is something one of use may be at he or I will text eachother like are you at *blank*. A few days ago I planned to go to a movie with my other friend. I asked him if I could bring my coworker. He said yes so I invited my coworker. Then my friend who I was originally going to the movie with bailed on me to baby sit. I texted my coworker telling him and asked him if he still wanted to go. He said yes and that he'd pick me up. I've never hugged him or anyhting which is weird becuase I hug every one of my guy friends, but I just don't know how he'd respond and I would rather not make it akwrd at work. He isn't coming back to work after he leaves for college so I can take the risk. I've always wanted to tell him, but I don't want to make a fool of myself or get rejected. Should I take the risk? Does he like me? How do I kiss him first? How can I hint a kiss or tell if he likes me?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 July 2011):
Hello again. I'm glad it went well for you both.
Just take things slowly and let him call the shots, from now on.
Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much! The night went amazingly even though we didn't kiss but I don't really mind becuase the night was so much fun. We went to the movie, then went for ice cream, and then went to the park until midnight. I had so much fun! Thank you!
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (22 July 2011):
Hi there. Why don't you go out and see the movie with him, and just see what he does.
Perhaps he might try to hold your hand while you're in the theatre. Let him.
If he does, that's good. If not, no big deal. He's probably shy like you.
Maybe he'll suggest you go for a coffee after. Say yes, because that's a chance to get to know him better. Don't refuse him, because he'll think that's a rejection, and he might not ask you out again. That's what you DON'T want.
By saying "Yes" to coffee, you are letting him know you are interested in him.
Any time you say "No", that's a direct rejection.
The only time it's ok to say "No", is if he happens to ask you out on another date, but it's a day that you do have something on that you already had planned - but can't change.
That's different, and you should say - "I can't go tomorrow (or whenever), because I have a family birthday or I'm studying for an exam the next day (or whatever it is - and be honest with him), so he knows you are interested, and that you do actually have something on on that day.
So in other words, you are not just making an excuse to NOT go out with him. That's why it's important to be honest and not lie about something already planned prior.
Supposing he doesn't try to kiss you at the end of the night when he drops you off, well then just say - "Thank you (his name), I had a lovely time tonight" and don't forget to smile when you say this - and see what he does.
He might just give you a quick kiss on your mouth or your cheek. But it's a start!
It's important that you let him do this - rather than you instigate the kiss - otherwise you could come across as being agressive or controlling. Men don't really like that. They like to feel that they are in control (without being controlling), if you get what I mean. Male chivralry, you know what I mean.
The main thing is that he sees for himself, that it's clear you are interested in him. When he does see that, he then will be encouraged to ask you out again in the very near future.
Don't say anything about liking him. It's a bad move and it can scare some men off, and cause them to withdraw from you altogether.
It's not necessary to say to him that you like him, it will become very clear to him, whether or not you like him. It will be very obvious to him.
The obvious signs are:-
(1) You look at him a lot throughout the night.
(2) You seem genuinely interested in him and in his life.
(3) You care, and show warmth towards him whenever he speaks.
But in any case, you already get the general feeling that he is also interested and attracted to you. So that's positive to begin with. You're off to a flying start!
A word of warning though. If everything on the movie night goes according to plan, and you both have a great time and enjoy each other's company, and then at the end of the night he kisses you and it becomes passionate. Whatever you do, DO NOT jump into bed with him.
If you do, it's possible you might not see him again.
It's often wise to wait a few dates or a few weeks - then he will know you don't give that part of yourself away too cheaply. Men do respect that.
In any case, get to know him well first, and then go that extra step when you feel the time is right - for you. Don't allow him to coerce you into sex, if you really aren't ready.
And believe me if he likes you enough, he will be happy to wait until you are ready. He'll respect you for it too.
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