A
female
age
30-35,
*ethany1108
writes:I need some advice.I have been dating an older man than myself now for over a year. We both have the greatest time when we're together and both have committed ourselves to one another. We haven't told my parents yet, because my parents are extremely conservative and dating an older guy to them is equal to a munity. He is fine with this and supports me in the decision. His family all lives out of state so I haven't ever met them but they know about me. I, too, am fine with this situation, it's unavoidable. However, it was extremely important to me that he meet my best friend, which he did and they both got along great. I was so happy. But, it's been over a year now and I've never met any of his friends. Some of them know about me, some don't, but I have yet to actually meet any of them. I don't know if it's the fact that I am much younger than him that he's uncomfortable (he isn't any other time we're out) or maybe he's afraid his friends won't accept me? (Even though he has stated countless times he doesn't care what other people think). A great example is he is going to a birthday party for one of his friend's kids who is turning one next week. I offered to him the present to take to it because he is very busy with work. I bought what I said I was going to buy, plus a little something extra, and wrapped it all. But he said he won't be able to see me until later that day because he'll be at the party. So I don't get it. What would be so bad about me going with him? I love kids, he knows this, and I'm social so he wouldn't have to worry about me, and he knows this as well. I'm just confused, and I feel like if I bring it up to him he will just say, "Our relationship is about you and I, why does it matter if you've met my friends or not." But it does matter to me and I would think that if he was truly as happy as he claims he is than he would want me to be apart of his life. Friends are a big part of everyone's lives. I don't know what to do. Any constructive advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!!!
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 It does kinda sound like he doesn't want you to meet them doesn't it. I think if I were you I would say I feel really uncomfortable that you don't seem to want me to meet your friends. It makes me feel like you are hiding something. Then have a party and invite all his friends and your friends to it.
A
female
reader, KaileyLove  +, writes (12 August 2010):
 Maybe he won't let you meet his friends for a reason. For example, my one side of the family is terrible with people. I would NEVER introduce my boyfriend to them because I know for a fact that my cousins will say something insulting, or my aunts will embarass them, and my girl cousins will flirt with him!
So, maybe, he's trying to protect you from his friends.
You never know, it could be for the best. But I do agree that friends are important. Maybe in time he'll introduce you all.
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A
female
reader, Lifesgood4 +, writes (12 August 2010):
Something you could try is sitting down talking to him about how much it means to you to meet his friends. Age shouldn't matter in the relationship especially if you love the person. Many people get nervous about it but hey really shouldn't. Ask him his views on it and ask him to listen to your views as well. It's only fair. If he still doesn't want you to go then ask him to bring his friends over to your house so you can meet them. Many guys don't understand that something so small to them can mean so much to you. That's why communication is a big part of the relationship.
Good luck!
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