A
female
age
36-40,
*ilehighbunny
writes:My fiance and I have been engaged since sept 1.07. His ex girlfriend sent him a message on nov 27 just saying she was going through her contacts and ran across him and that he is not on her hate-list anymore. Well he was excited to hear from her and that he does not hate her anymore which it has been 3 or 4 years now.he mentioned me but very briefly. He told her that he was so sloppy when they were together and he was sorry. he wished her happy birthday and that he didnt forget.She sent him a message back with congrats on the engagement and proud of all his accomplishment and many more to come. That she saw him when we were out and was nervous to say hey. and quote " i do miss you even when you were sloppy, maybe we can have lunch sometime." He quotes "Iwas nervous too and didnt know what to say when I saw you.And sorry for your past relationship problems and that somebody is going to get a once in a lifetime chance to date you.I want to meet you mono eh mono. Charla a usted mas adelante." He doesnt know spanish and they used to talk a little when they dated. Last night he aske me if I ever wanted to be with someone else? He has mentioned to me that she has written him an email and that he would write her back but wouldnt tell me much. I know this was a shameful thing for me to do, but I checked his mail to see what was going on. He knows I know his email password. it just seems like he is hidding something from me.It is just making me nervous that he is going to start falling for her again. He would talk about her sometimes and bring her up in occassions as camping and such. I dont know what to do? Im scared because I love him to death. That is why I said "yes".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): Well I will tell you one thing for certain. And its that she DEFINITELY has her eye on him and wants him. I have no doubt in my mind about that. So BE CAREFUL. The fact that she contacted him "out of the blue" like that?? Its probably because she saw him out with you and got a little jealous and...all I am saying is that you cannot trust this girl cause its not innocent. As for your boyfriend...hmm. Well at least he was nice to his ex which is a GOOD thing because it shows he is mature. And he certainly didn't say anything that sounds like he was trying to lead her on or anything. HOWEVER, the only strange thing about it that was really strange was how he asked you if you ever think about being with someone else??That would PISS ME OFF. But is it possible that he asked that because he was jealous of you and another person?? If not then that is really SKETCHY.But listen. Getting a call like that from your ex can be very flattering for anybody. And it sounds like your boyfriend was just very flattered. That is NOT unusual at all. Ok? HOWEVER, ok he got his flattery, they spoke and she asked to meet him, he replied that maybe he would, but I think that he should leave it at that and not try to engage in this any further. He is engaged to you and I don't think it is appropriate for him to be rebuilding any sort of relationship with an ex. So as for what has happened so far, I would brush it off. It really is NOT a big deal. But if he SERIOUSLY is thinking of meeting with her and taking this further, I am sorry but THEN I would be PISSED OFF and I think that is completely inappropriate. So for now monitor this situation. So ok he got a email from an ex, they said hello, he was flattered, FINE. No big deal. But there is no GOOD reason for him to want to take this any further than that. I mean that is if he cares and respects your feelings. If she wants to meet him he should jsut tell her that he is busy with wedding arrangements. That's it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): Talk to him about it. Try to approach the situation in a way that describes how YOU feel and not what you THINK he's doing.
It seems like this situation will only get worse, and communication will make it apparent which steps you need to take.
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A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 I would get out of that relationship. It sounds to me like he misses his ex, asking you if you ever want to be with someone else, he's telling you, I want to be with my ex! Sounds like a lot of lingering feelins, I would be very wary.
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