| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am not good looking and have no confidence in myself at all. When I was 14, pimples started appearing on my head and lost my font hair.Since then, I have been shaving my head to make it look decent but I know girls get turned off my look and that’s why I'm still single.I have also tendency of putting on weight when I don’t eat right. Right now I am slim but it’s because I have cut down on my favorite food. Friends of my age have gone miles in their life and I am still here where I was 6 years back. Sometimes, I wish I was not born and because this world is for beautiful people with good fortunes. And I am, certainly, not one of them. The only thing I have is good knowledge of history, politics, economy , films and sports, and ideas for sports, films and new political systems. People just want to hear me but hate my look! My parents wanted me to go miles in my life but I have failed to live up to their expectations and now they have become old but their son is nothing but a complete failure. All I am doing right now is a small time sports teacher job in a private school over here. Dear Cupid, please tell me why my life is such a mess? I am looking forward to you people reply! Thanks!
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male
reader, santas  +, writes (31 October 2011):
Hey don't feel that towards yourself. Believe you me, looks is not everything in life. At my age I have had one past serious relationship with a young beautiful lady just because I look physically attractive and my personality did strike her. The relationship did not help me much, deep down I was not content since I didn't have a job. I was always wishing I could find one and start making money like everyone else.After I got a job the relationship ended since I was just too busy and had no time.Later on, I was happy to be working and making some money no matter how little it was. It was later in the cause of my job I met my current girlfriend after being friends at my work place where she came as a customer.We became friends at first and later realized we were growing much closer not necessarily because of looks but the way we related and got to know each other.I am now happier than ever. I think things happen when the right time comes. Just wait and when the time comes you will meet the right person who loves you for who you are.Also do appreciate what you have but avoid comparing yourself with others it is just natural that we are not all the same. Hope I helped.
A
female
reader, uroboros  +, writes (28 October 2011):
don't beat yourself up! inteligence is sexy.
try to go out as much as you can, meet new people. if a girl is put off by your baldness, it's just superficial, and she's certainly not worth your attention.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 if it (the world) were only for the beautiful people who have great means.... you and I wouldn't have any reason to be here. What I suggest is that you - like me - keep plugging and screw up those who ARE beautiful and Rich!!!!!Good luck....P.S. I've survived for 61 years under these circumstances!!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Your life is a mess because you let it be a mess.
Sounds to me like you have no self-esteem. I think that some counseling one on one to work on your self-worth and self-esteem will be a huge help to you.
What people find attractive is not in the physical… that’s a 15 second shot.. What people will find attractive is standing up straight, making eye contact, self-assurance and confidence. These things are HARD to project if you don’t feel them but if you can fake it till you make it you will find life will really really change for you.
FWIW bald men are sexy. And men with a bit of pudge on them are my preferred body type.
Many of us have to give up our favorite foods to maintain a slender appearance...
At 51 I know I am a disappointment not only to my father (my mom is deceased but she would be sad too) but also to my grown children…. Guess what? I live my life to please ME not anyone else…. It makes life so much easier that way.
Teaching is a great job.. it’s a very important job and teachers are not given enough credit.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Hi,
I think you are a nice, well educated man. I think the only problem is you... Looks, and money is not everything... I think what's not attracting women to you is your bad energy, negative thoughts. I am sure if you keep being strong, stop over thinking too much about everything, stop putting yourself down, you can meet a lovely lady that will care, love you, respect you the way you deserve. I also think if you change your attitude, you can achieve anything you want in life. To me, you are your own enemy, and you are the only one stopping yourself to live a happy, successful, fulfilling life.
Be strong, be positive, be grateful for what you have, be grateful for being alive, and if you feel you haven't done much with your life, do something, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are still young, have a full life ahead, and it's only up to you to make the best of it.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I can see why you are much loved at Quiz Nights. But I think it is time you started putting you first and practising the "Art of Selfishness".Make sure that every day you do one GOOD thing that is supportive of you or feels good for you or makes YOUR day better. Be much kinder to you. Because you do deserve it. The most important person to please every day is you.You are in a job where it is probably important to remain fit. But it is not challenging you enough and that is possibly making you sad.Not sure what country you are in but i will do my best without that knowledgeIt seems to me that you do NOT lack IQ. And believe me lots of girls love a guy with a good IQ. You are just not meeting them in the area where you are now.And it also seems that you lack belief in you and confidence in you. Could you countenance some challenges to get you out of your comfort zone? Because that is what a friend of ours had to do. He finally married at 42 and now has two children. But prior to meeting his wife (12 years his junior) he was in a rut. And was becoming a confirmed bachelor. Under some duress from his brothers he booked a working holiday overseas. Not to some flesh pot. But to a quirky quiet out of the way area. It really made him appreciate that he was not too bad all things considered.His EQ lifted in leaps and bounds after that. EQ? his emotional intelligence. He have himself permission to just observe people. Every new place no one knew him and no one had any "baggage" views about himI am not sure if a working holiday outside your country is possible. But I know it made our friend soar in confidence and realise in the end that he was mighty fine catch. Sometimes you never realise how good you are until you find the time to see yourself in other ways, through the eyes of others. Oh and his wife (then girl friend) cleared out his wardrobe of the most out of date clothing and now he looks pretty good. I know guys who are bald or with receding hair who think they are a total hot guy in every way. Beleive me girls fall in love with guys with and without hair.Please try to start believing in you. Because I bet you are way better than you describe, you just cannot see it yet.Every night when you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning try this affirmation out loud. Trust me it does start to work.I will imagine your name is A, so try this affirmation:"Good morning/Good Night A you are a really smart interesting guy and you deserve the best just because you are you" And always remember: what other people think of you is none of your business. Honestly you do not have time to think of what other people ever think of you. That is their problem, let them worry about that.All you need to do is determine what is good for you. Ask yourself before you agree to anything, "is this really good for me? And is this what I really want for me?"If it is not, then don't do it. And never never ever feel guilty about saying NO!Your time is valuable. Best wishesAbella
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): Hey, do not let you down. I am 32, single, no job (but do not look too bad). i also feel i am a failure and others who are of my age are miles ahead of me. So what? Is that my fault? No way. The good thing is that I have a good understanding about life. see, we all do not deserve everything others may do. Reason is unknown. That's all. Love yourself. Treat yourself well. DO NOT GET FAT (go to a gym). Be always clean and neat. use a good perfume. Every female doesn't look like an angel. The same is true with males too. Look at the world. How many bald headed men are there who always worry? Go to a hospital and see how many people are there suffering from various incurable diseases. Look at the poor people in Africa. you have had far better life than certain people. Be happy. smile. laugh. enjoy. Above all be a good human being. That's it.
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