A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Real love or hormones?I am 18 and have been dating my GF for 5 months now, and I want to know if our feelings for each other are real, or just some teenage hormones. We have have a great adult relationship full of deep conversation, feelings of security, and willingness to compromise. I just want to know if others out there have stuck with their first love, or is it the hormones telling us we have something special? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Straight Up  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 only you will no whether your in love or not. i can't tell you but what i can say is when you have found love you won't be questioning it. just take things one step at a time and very soon you'll have your answer
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 Hi dear
Well, this sort of question only time can tell, when you will get to know eachother better and better. When you get to know someone and you are attracted to that person, there are alway some hormons in your body which make you feel in love. Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really controll it yourselfe. It is like beeing on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. It's a chemical reaction or emotional response. This is fun and can create amazing feelings! You can compare it with beeing drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems. So when you fall in love you are infatuated in that person. You can forget all around you and your feelings and cogitations are with this person. You are just happy and don't see any problems. But that is just normal when you first get to know someone, especialy at your age! You really don't have to worry about that!
Real, deep, solid love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't allways feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not always the case with the feelings of falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month or maybe a year or two. They'll disappear and they will not come back in the same form. But for this you must know this person personally. This takes some time and can not happen in a few weeks or month.
You are already thinking of more and as you say, you have a great adult relationship full of deep conversation, feelings of security, and willingness to compromise. You don't say anything about beeing very much attracted to what she looks like. This is importand too of course, but if you would be only attracted to her appearance, then this is only your hormones. So I think, there are still your hormones telling you a lot, but for me, this looks a little more than just hormones. You are not only letting your mind rule by your hormones, you are using your brain as well. But as I wrote above, to know if both of you are really in love, not just on hormones like beeing on drugs, this takes time, maybe lots of time. But to be patient will only just be good for you, because this stopps you from runing into someone and prevent you from getting hurt very, very much. You still can get hurt very much, but the chance is a little less.
So enjoy the time you have to get to know her better and better. And as you use the time for this, hopefully your relationship will slowly get deeper and better. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (11 May 2007):
True love has as much to do with feelings as it does with the willingness to be committed to one another. It ain't true, unless both of you are true to one another. Whether or not it will last remains to be seen, but the only way to find out is to be good to one another, to love one another, to listen, to communicate, and to be honest with one another.
People talk about bells, gongs, and all kind of disturbances going on in their stomachs and heads when they talk about true love. But I think true, lasting love has a great deal to do with knowing how to value that other person in your life, how to respect them, and the knowledge that without them, your life will be less full.
Some wise umm... ass said that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I've known that sometimes love sneaks up on you in just that manner. Sometimes you have no idea how much you love someone until they're no longer there. That doesn't mean that the realization is a result of them leaving you, but when they are taken from you, by duty, accident, or death.
Just some thoughts. Take it slow. Be a good man. Work hard. Every day is spent being worthy of her love, and she does the same for you.
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