A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all!Really sorry about the rambling to come; if you don't like long questions, it's best to stop now!Well, lets start with the basics: I'm 20, I have (in my opinion) the best bf in the world whom I met in county badminton and at the moment I;m very confused;We've been going out for 4 and a half years (I was 15 and a half, he was 16 and a half) and I completely adore him!We get along so well, the only things we argue about are what music we play during car rides, whop has the better taste in music, best band (theres quite a lot of music orientation) and who's turn it is to do the laundry.We both go to the same university just outside London, and we have quite a sizeable flat that we share. Weve been living together since I joined him at uni (2 and a bit years, give or take) and we get along so well! Everytime I see him, or get a hug or a kiss (or something else . . . :P) I have butterflies like when we first started going out, and the fireworks seem to be never-ending :D Obviously I'm ecstatic about this, but the thing I'm confused about is something my buddy brought up; Love.She said I sound head over heels in love, but I've always thought that it's almost impossible to find love at our age (we're both adults now, I know, but we were teenagers when we first started going out) and if love does happen at that age, it's incredibly rare.Are we one of the rare ones? I love doing those little things with him (shopping, cinema, sitting on the couch eating pizza etc.) and hate it when either of us goes away, but we give each other enough space to do our own thing as well.We've gone through so many milestones together; my sixteenth, losing our virginity to each other, our eighteenths, uni and other stuff, and we played mixed doubles in badminton together. Nothing seems to go wrong while all around us people are jumping in and out of different beds (ew.)Anyway, my friend joked that twenty years from now we'd probably be married! And then she asked me whether I was in love or not. So, I said very stupidly that I didn't know.So, this is why I am asking for help and giving so many details since I'd like an accurate answer.Can anyone help? I'm kinda stumped :SSorry again for the rambling, but I'd really like an answer!xxx
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male
reader, Candleman  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 The problem w/ love is defining it. To come up w/ one, all encompassing definition that everyone will accept is virtually impossible. Look up the definition on wikipedia to get a feel for this reality.
It is rather an interesting area of study in modern day psychology. They are actually doing MRI brain studies that show which areas of the brain are active in couples who are feeling love. They compared this w/ lustful feelings, people w/ broken hearts and there's all sorts of different facets being looked at.
There is actually a research outfit that did a study to test if your mate was actually in love w/ you. They claim there are three facets they look for through a series of questions and depending on the activity in the brain using an fmri, claim they can tell you if your mate is truly in love w/ you. This means that one day a company could be selling this service to people. Kinda scary, kinda neat.
From my experience love is a feeling that I have had and have. Your question of can a person find true love at a young age finds you living proof that yes this can happen. The reason the stereotype is out there, sayings like 'puppy love', is because it is often rare for these early loves to work out and last. It does happen though.
All the things that you describe clearly shows that you two are in love with each other. I had a friend from high school that fell in love and they got married and today have 2 kids and its been 20 years now that they've been together.
Out of my entire class of 250, they are the only couple that managed to do so. They were actually 1 of only 2 couples that got married (one divorced real early after graduation.) So only 2 out of 250 experienced an early love that lasted, that is less than 1%. It's like hitting the lottery.
I wish you continued happiness.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 From what you're saying, the two of you have matured into quite a loving and intimate relationship. If anything, spending time together, being secure together; enjoying each other's company -- it seems the two of you are definitely a loving couple. If you want to say "in love" yes, I would have to say that is the long-term effect of this kind of intimacy.
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A
female
reader, anaphaseii +, writes (12 October 2009):
You've been in love with each other for a long, long time. You think all couples have this sort of a connection with each other? You're incredibly lucky, I hope you know!
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