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Is this guy just being nice? Or does he like me?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 July 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a guy friend who is from my hometown and I've known for a long time, although we were never close but just had mutual friends. I always thought he was cute, and invited him as my date to a wedding a year ago. Since then, we would talk via email, text and facebook from time to time.

But the past few months, he's been contacting me more frequently, just to chat or talk about whatever, all very innocent.

The thing is...he has had a girlfriend for a year! The last time I visited my hometown a few weeks ago, he invited me to lunch and drove me to the airport and even threw a party since I was in town. When I asked him how his relationship was going just to make conversation, he said he had been doing some "thinking" about the relationship lately, and not good thinking. And now he texts, emails and all that almost everyday since I saw him. (If I were his gf, I'd be throwing some side-eye at this situation, but I'm not sure if I'm reading too much into this.)

The question is, what do you think is going on here? I really like the guy, but I've never made any advances or anything, and neither has he (since he has a gf and all.) I'm happy to be his friend, but I wonder is he just being nice or does he kind of like me?

View related questions: facebook, text, wedding

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (29 July 2011):

Odds agony auntIt sounds like he's into you from what I'm reading. It sounds like he wants to upgrade from his old girlfriend to you.

The real litmus test is this: ask yourself, if you were to show up naked at his house, and he knew he would never be caught, what would he do? Unless the answer is, "respectfully ask you to put your clothes back on," he is into you.

What you do with that information is up to you, but morally, don't be an accessory to cheating. If you want to pursue this, make sure he breaks up with his girlfriend first, then give it some time to be sure he's serious.

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A female reader, Pretty2K12Lady United States +, writes (29 July 2011):

Pretty2K12Lady agony auntthis guy is digging you and would rather be happy in a relationship with you than her...that's what is going on...he may not know how to say it or even bring it upp to you but from the information that you GAVE me, sounds like he likes you and he is bored with the relationship he is in...he is being nice and he lieks you at the same time...sooner or later it might come to the light...he cant hide his feelings for too long so...wait a lil for it and if he waits too long and you cant wait any longer..shoot...ask yourself do he like you or is he juss being nice...it always helps to be upfront with a person

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