A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I know that these types of arrangements typically don't last that long and usually end when one of the two people start to have feelings for the other or one of the people gets a BF/GF.I don't even know what to call the situation that I am currently in.I can't call it a true "booty call" because they are very similar to a one night stand and the length of time that my current situation has been going on(which is more than 5 yrs)has exceeded the time frame for a FWB.The thing that puzzles me is that this man I am involved with has a live in GF and doesn't want to stop seeing me.I have told him many times that he needs to stay with her and make whatever they have work but he still comes back.What he's doing is dead wrong and IMO is cheating on his GF with me.
View related questions:
one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat i do know from other people that I have known to be in this same situation that A) most married men NEVER leave their wives BUT will almost always leave the GF(question is how long will that take)and C) that sooner or later this doulble life he is living WILL be exposed and come to the light.
See it won't devastate me because I already know the truth.
It's what the live in GF will do when the truth is finally exposed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): To the original poster,
Thanks for your feedback - good or bad, always nice to see the advice has been read. I would however, like to point out, that YOUR suggestion: " BUT as much as I am wrong how can anyone say that this man or any man/woman that sleeps with another man/woman whether they are living together or not honestly gives a hoot about the one that they live with?"
No one was saying ' that he gives a hoot for his gf, or is not in the wrong' It's irrelevant what he does, YOU have control over what you do, and where married men or men with live-in-gf are concerned, the right thing to do, is to WALK as two wrongs don't make a right.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are all entitled to our opinions and yes I know I am wrong for continuing to see this man knowing of his situation BUT as much as I am wrong how can anyone say that this man or any man/woman that sleeps with another man/woman whether they are living together or not honestly gives a hoot about the one that they live with?
IMO this man has really NO regard to either mine or his live in GF feelings and is nothing but a very selfish person.
This a man that just doesn't CARE.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): If you keep telling him and he does nothing about it, then he will not take any notice. He has the best of both worlds, a girlfriend and then sex with you whenever he wants it. He has two women and you have half a man. Is this enough for you?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 He keeps coming back to you- but you keep opening him your door or picking up his calls or answering his e-mails.
If in your opinion what he does is dead wrong- then stop letting him do it !
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): You know he has a girlfriend, and a live-in girlfriend at that, and for five years you've been the 'booty call' as that is all it is, and you say in your opinion what he's doing is dead wrong, he's cheating on her with you.
It takes two, you cannot pass the ALL the blame on the guy, you are both people who lack the ability to say NO, and what he's doing does not matter, you should have your own basic standards, you don't sleep with other women's boyfriends or husbands, you don't accept being a booty call. Stick to those rules, and it's easy! It shows self-worth and integrity!
As for him using you, it think it has worked both ways, as you've gone along with it - most women wouldn't who wanted a proper relationship. As you say, it's an arrangement, but unfortunately not on an equal playing field, as he has a partner, do the right thing and say NO to him, don't take his calls, answer emails or the phone, and walk away and have some self-respect.
Sorry..but I can't feel sorry for you, as there is a third party here, however, I hope get your life together and find someone decent to have a proper relationship with.
Jilly
...............................
A
female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (6 December 2010):
 What you are doing is wrong. It doesnt really matter what its called. He doesnt have enough feeling toward you to leave his LIVE IN gf. He is using you. You may not see that. But you are there for sex when ever he wants. He has somebody else. He will not commit to you. Or stop seeing her. Did you expect him to say ok I'll leave her? Or ok goodbye have a nice life? You can tadmit what he is doing is wrong if you are the cause. You are in your 40s. Dont let ANY man use you. He only wants you for sex. He may tell you something otherwise, but im pretty sure we can all agree he has no problem with lying. I hope you figure out everything, and end up happy :) Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): I'm not sure what you are getting out of this relationship? You are hurting her relationship also. Don't you want more than to be a booty call? For 5 years??
...............................
|
