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Is there anything I can do to reduce my sex drive?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, *aiti30 writes:

Hello, I have a sex question.

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two months now, im 18 hes 25. And Lately he says all ive wnated to do is have sex, and i have. Im consantly "horny" when im around him, and when im not with him i thinkg about doing the deed with him. We live 3 hours from eachother, and only see eachother probably every 3-4 weeks. When we do have sex, he does what he likes, so i never climax, and im stll turned on when hes done, so i keep pushing... Im consantly trying to get him in that mood and its hurting our relationship. Is there anyway i can slow down? anything i can do? Is this normal?

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A male reader, Silius Sodimus Australia +, writes (23 January 2013):

Have you explained that you don't get off much when having sex with him? If you have then it sounds like he's only interested in getting his rocks off. Most guys would jump at the idea of a horny woman wanting to orgasm and would do anything you wanted to achieve achieve orgasm, I know I would. Talk to him about it, it's still only early days. When your having sex have you said to him things like "I wan't you to do this" or "I love it when you xyz" give him hints on what you like.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (9 January 2013):

person12345 agony auntYes, that's normal. Clitoral stimulation is how women have orgasms.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (9 January 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntHave you told him what works for you? If you have and he ignores it, I'd dump him. If he has shown no interest in seeing that you are happy with your sex life, I doubt he's teachable that way. He's not worth the time, frankly.

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A male reader, tby1 United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2013):

tby1 agony auntNever have I understood selfish men. I perform only to please and thru that the effort I put in usually gets rewarded with something back which in turn makes the whole experience many times better. Some men are truly appalling but the +side is I get even more points when guys who don't care are around and then the ladies talk and so on.

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A female reader, kaiti30 United States +, writes (8 January 2013):

kaiti30 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

kaiti30 agony auntI can only get off bu cliterol stimulation...

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (8 January 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntTell him that "ladies come first," the next time you see him and see if that doesn't help the situation.

If he can't work with you to make sure YOU enjoy the sex too, then maybe the entire relationship should be reconsidered. Balance and sharing are an important part of intimacy. If he can't hack that, then he's not a good long term bet.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (8 January 2013):

person12345 agony auntNo wonder you are feeling like that, he gets off and you're sitting there frustrated! There's no release for you so all that sexual tension keeps building. You're still pushing him not because you want more sex, but because you want an orgasm and the more sex stimulates you, so you feel like it might give you what you need.

You should start masturbating if you don't already to figure out what you need to do to orgasm with him, and then do that with him.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (8 January 2013):

janniepeg agony auntThere's always masturbation and dildos. If you feel it is important to have him give you an orgasm, tell him to try oral. If he doesn't like oral, then fingering. When I advice people about sex drives, I always educate them about food. There is a lysine/arginine ratio in foods. Foods with higher lysine lower arginine reduce sex drive. Foods with higher arginine lower lysine increase sex drive. You can also channel your sexual energy into exercising or anything artistic, creative. If you decide you can stick with your boyfriend you have to accept the distance for now and that a vaginal orgasm with him inside you is unlikely.

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