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Is there any hope that I will ever have a relationship when I have nothing to offer girls?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 August 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 August 2012)
A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I don't think I have anything to offer girls because I'm not rich, good-looking or the party type. I only have my time and my heart but it doesn't seem to be enough in this world.

I don't believe in casual sex or using people and this alienates me from most people so i spend most of my time alone which just increases the gap between myself and everyone else.

Due to these factors I find it hard to believe in relationships and i want to know if people were given hope in relationships by others or did they give themselves the hope by believing that they would find something that would rectify all the bad they see and go through.

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A female reader, newlove4us United States +, writes (21 August 2012):

Don't give up, I'm an attractive woman who loves a confident man. I've dated very pretty and successful men whom I never date twice because they lack what you have. Believe in yourself, exude confidence, laugh, smile, come off friendly and approachable and you'll be amazed at how attractive you actually are. My ex was a beautiful jerk. It's very true that inner beauty trumps physical beauty.

Go out there with an upbeat attitude and don't get too discouraged if it doesn't happen right away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2012):

You're actually the definition of a perfect guy to me. Likes to be by himself, not the party type, doesn't believe in casual sex.

There's a lot of girls like me out there, trust me, maybe not that many compared to the girls who like jerks but trust me, you WILL find someone.

I've been with my bf for two years now and he is just like you, he isn't very good looking either (I'm no Victoria's Secret Angel but I am good looking, I get hit on by guys a lot and he gets jealous but I would never think of cheating on him because he's perfect the way he is, at least to me).

BUT, you do sound a bit insecure, maybe you could try changing what you don't like about yourself? You could try going to the gym to improve your appearance, become more social, etc.

Good luck! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all for your help. I'm going to better myself and try again in the future when i have more courage and confidence. @Ciar that is my question as well.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (20 August 2012):

Ciar agony auntThis is yours as well, OP?

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-just-stay-single-for-life-or.html

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (20 August 2012):

Ciar agony auntTo chalk up your past failures to other people's character flaws is to do both you and others a disservice.

What you need is a change in strategy. There are plenty of women out there who want what you have to offer, and are eager to offer the same in return. Maybe those girls aren't as exciting as the wild party girls you may be approaching.

Maintain hope and change your approach.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (20 August 2012):

Fatherly Advice agony auntLooks like to me you are making a lot of excuses up so you won't have to be responsible for your failings. There are people who want what you have to offer. First work on your self.

FA

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