A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am on summer research at a school far away from mine. I regularly use the library here, and have noticed one of the librarians who checks out books is very nice and also attractive. I would like to approach her and ask her out or just become friends, but am not sure how to do it. Also, if she turns me down, I would like to be able to continue using the library.How do I approach her? What do I say?Thanks,AM Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (22 June 2010):
 You ask her out in the same way you would a girl you liked who worked in a coffee-shop, restaurant or retail outlet.
Librarians are not a different species. They aren't even always better-read than others.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 Look under 020 in the Dewey decimal system, or Z665-718.8 in the Library of Congress system.
(Sorry, I couldn't resist).
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A
male
reader, paul739  +, writes (21 June 2010):
I work in a library and we are not dragons! Infact people have asked our staff out and we don't bite..we are normal people outside of work!! Don't treat it as being any different from asking out a shop worker!
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A
female
reader, keikoBell +, writes (21 June 2010):
 I understand your problem, because it seems hard to 'break the ice' with someone you don't really know. But in fact it's not as hard as you think. Firstly I would just try smiling at her, it will make you seem friendly, confident & approachable. Also, if she's smiles back you know that she's also freindly. When chcking out the books you should try not act awkward & start up some light converstaion. For example; while shes checking out your books ask her if shes been busy today. try & keep conversation rolling, & next time you see her you can begin talking again. You should also compliment her, for example; say she smells nice,(I wouldn't over do the compliments though). Eventually you should feel conforable enough to ask her if she wants to grab a coffee after work & go on from there. If she does reject you for coffee it's not like she's turned you down for a dinner date, so you have no reason to feel uncomfortable next time you go to the library. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Librarians are people too! In fact, you kinda have an advantage now, because you know what her passion is. I've never met a librarian who wasn't who she was unless she had an incredible passion for books and the library.
If you haven't talked her her, don't just go from zero to asking her out. Go to the library on a regular basis and start some small talk with the librarian. Ask her a couple of questions about what she likes (don't make them "yes" or "no" questions). Get to know her a little in her environment, and especially get her talking about something that totally lights her up, maybe why she chose to be a librarian.
Then, after some time has passed and you've determined that she's single and available (this is not a fast process), then use your knowledge of her to plan a date to some place that you know would interest her. Then ask her to it. Don't just say "Hey, want to go out with me sometime?"...put some effort into it!
One way to approach her initially would be to ask her for help in some subject you're researching. Make up a subject if you don't already have one, like the influence of pop culture on political events or scientific breakthroughs or something.
Be sure to smile when you talk to her. :)
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