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Is the wife really accident prone or trying to assault the husband?

Tagged as: Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2015) 9 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2015)
A male Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Wife hits me 3 times in groin with point-point accuracy but says they're all accidents.

1. Wife wakes up and tries to get blanket from husband who's weight prevents her from getting blanket. Wife then does an open-palm strike through the blanket and grabs back blanket. I end up in hospital with swollen balls and a ultrasound. She says she "lightly" took the blanket back and doesn't know how I could have had swollen testicles.

2. Husband naked jumps into bed and accidentally bumps into Wife's side. Wife reacts instantly by whipping a pillow into husband's groin. I end up icing all day and the next day.

3. Husband rolls to other side of bed but accidentally takes blanket with him. Wife says she became cold all of a sudden and kicks out like a mule and hits testicles square on. I end up in hospital again worried. Doctors are about to call the police but I deter them.

Wife says they're all accidents as the pin-point accuracies were all flukes.

Now is the wife really this Accident Prone or is she lying and trying to cover up an assault???

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A female reader, mrspiggy United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2015):

mrspiggy agony auntI honestly don't understand how anyone thinks this is funny.

Lets change the roles. Put husband where the word wife is and vice versa and face where groin is. Still funny? Thought not.

Speak to her a explain if these 'accidents' keep happening you will have to call the police and maybe suggest anger management. I have never hit my husband, I never would.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (23 October 2015):

YouWish agony auntSome people are restless sleepers! I don't think the husband is stealing the blanket on purpose! Maybe one thing to do is to get a bigger blanket! Or, if it's really bad and he suffers from PTSD or something that makes him unusually restless, then separate bedrooms might be a marriage saver.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015):

1.Wife in bed freezing because selfish husband has all the quilt.

2. Naked man jumps into woman laid in bed and hurts her in self defence she picks up a pillow and lashes out.

3. Husband steals all the quilt again, wife looses it this time and kicks out.(not good)

Why are these ALL BED INCIDENTS?

Does this ever happen anywhere else?

The nhs has a duty of Safeguarding if they suspect abuse.

You have the right to press charges for assault if you believe you are been assaulted.

However so does she, when you hurt her, although you said it was an accident she could wonder if it was a cover up to deliberately hurt her. Just looking at both perspectives here.

Now is the wife really this accident prone, you ask?

I suggest divorce for a number of reasons on both sides.

I must admit you would get on my nerves and i would take to seperate beds.

If you feel that you are been assaulted abused then seek help and inform the police and file for divorce

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015):

OP, does she have anger management issues? Is she verbally abusive? Is she confrontational? Is she passive aggressive?

It's not about the blanket. How's the rest of the marriage. Violent accidents to your groin everytime you annoy her in bed sound like 'accidents'.

Does she pinch? Do you have kids? What's she like towards them?

Do take photos, date them and get them signed by your doctor as a witness. In case they turn out not to be accidents, you'll need to prove this was happening.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (21 October 2015):

YouWish agony auntI don't think it's funny at *all*.

They are absolutely positively NOT accidents, and you should have let the police be called.

She's hitting you there ON PURPOSE, and then is taking advantage of the double standard which shames a guy from admitting that his wife is abusing him deliberately.

Seriously, this is so simple that if we were to switch genders and describe it as the GUY "open palming" a girl, no one would be laughing and everyone would be telling her to get the hell away from him. But because it's a guy, people laugh when they shouldn't, and guys take it when they shouldn't.

Let me analyze each incident for a second here:

1. She wakes up and realizes that the husband has wrapped himself up in the blanket while tossing and turning. That's happened to my husband and me so many times that I've lost count! I've never "open palmed" him once in the 17 years we've been married!!! I tap in on the shoulder, whisper "Hey hun, you've tangled yourself in the blanket". Then he adjusts and I get my blanket back, and sometimes I get the added bonus of HIM spooning me, which is extra snuggly! She is hitting you DELIBERATELY. She didn't hit your shoulder, your head, or your butt, or your hips...she aimed and hit your groin to punish you because she was pissed. Strike one.

2. You jump into bed naked, and her response is to grab a pillow and hit you so hard you had to ice your testicles?!? A PILLOW?? No. That's a gesture way too complicated and calculated to ever consider that an accident. And again, being one aunt, I can only draw on my experience! My husband has jumped into bed and accidentally bumped me before! There have been a few nights I woke up because he got restless and I ended up getting an arm flopped into my face. On one occasion, we were making out and both of us fell off the bed, me onto my back, and BOY did that hurt! Never *once* did I hit him for any of those things. Never occurred to me. If I were sick or were in those rare times where I wasn't up for...things that happen when people get naked, I simply say "Can we pretty please have a rain check??" and vice versa! I don't hit the poor guy, and I kinda LIKE his testicles unharmed! She did it deliberately because you got into bed naked and she got pissed because you accidentally bumped into her. I'm guessing she deliberately hit you with not only the pillow, but the better part of her knuckle that was HOLDING the pillow as well. Strike two.

3. You again have the penchant for being a blanket hog in this saga. I get it - my husband is one too. But don't people who are cold usually shrink up and start SHIVERING? Cold people don't start kicking! The one time I ever got really upset at my husband for being a blanket hog was when he both hogged the blanket AND somehow managed to fall asleep with the window wide open in the middle of winter, and it was January and -15 degrees out. Good thing he did that and I woke up, because ice had formed in the toilet in the bathroom adjoining our room! Had I not woken up, our pipes would have burst, and then it would have been a real nightmare. In that case, I was *pissed* he'd left the window open (he had opened in while doing P90X and forgot to close it), but instead of kicking him, as I was much too shivery to do violence on anyone, I got up and turned on the light in our bedroom at 2am. He looks up, squinty-eyed, and then realized when he could see his own breath what had happened. So we shut the windows, re-made the bed, and finished out the night, again me using HIM as a human hot water bottle (he complained that he was snuggling with an icicle...I had no sympathy..heh). Within the week, we bought an electric blanket, which was AWESOME. My point is - she deliberately got pissed and chose where to hit you and how hard. That was no knee-jerk reaction at *all*. She was pissed at you being a blanket hog and decided to make you pay for it, then when she realized how hard she had hit you (hard enough for the doctor to want to call the cops on her!), she made up some "accident" story because she knew that she had you by the balls, so to speak. Strike three.

She is ASSAULTING you. It's not a blow to the ego, so you shouldn't be ashamed. Had the genders been reversed and it was the guy slapping his wife or hitting her in the groin hard enough to go to the hospital, there'd be no question. Seriously, she's hitting you really hard. She will continue to do it and continue to pretend it was an accident. Unfortunately, she will and has been escalating the violence against you.

I knew a guy whose first wife assaulted him, and at first, she played victim and tried to exploit a "grey" area, like slapping him was acceptable. She would hit/kick/grab and even bite his nuts as well. The final straw was when he was asleep on the couch, and she got pissed that he wasn't mowing the lawn when she wanted him to, and threw a glass at his face. The glass broke when it made contact with his nose, but in the process, it broke his nose and cut up his face badly to where it needed stitches, and it was literally a single centimeter off from one of his eyes, in which he would have most certainly been blinded. As it is, he has a scar through his left eyebrow, splitting it into two parts. She tried to say that she was throwing it "at the wall" to get his attention.

I don't swear much on here, but I say BULLSHIT. And the same goes for your wife's bullshit as well.

She will hit you again. Maybe not in the groin right away, but it *will* happen. My friend stayed with his abusive wife for almost 4 years, which was 3 1/2 years too many. After he got home from the ER after getting stitches, he called his mom who owned a halfway house and moved out of his house that very day. He filed for divorce that very week. He also filed for a restraining order against her. The judge saw the scars, and it didn't take long to get the divorce finalized. No children, rented house...and she was abusive.

Your wife is abusive. And she is a liar. She made excuses, not apologies! I accidentally dropped a jar of spaghetti sauce on his foot once, and I was apologizing profusely! (the jar didn't break! He opened it for me after picking it up). A real spouse who cares shows concern for someone who's hurt.

Don't blow it off. You should either get out of this now, or tell her that if her hand or any other part of her "accidentally" does anything to your genitals besides lovingly caress them, that you WILL call the cops, and she's getting kicked to the curb. Do not hesitate. Do not let your ego or pride keep you silent. She will hurt you again because she's habitual and she makes excuses.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 October 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIF i wake my husband from a dead sleep he comes up swinging.

Once may be an accident

twice a coincidence

3 times... well.. that is suspect

why would your wife be this angry???

I also suggest either separate beds/rooms but at minimum separate blankets.

I have suggested this to my spouse and he says no... so he has to deal with my stealing the covers.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntThat is hard to say, to be honest. I DO think it's a little TOO coincidental that it's your balls/groin she hit/kick EVERY time in these 3 episodes. One thing is her hand hitting that area, but her foot? Sounds odd. For her to hit/kick you so HARD that you have to go to the hospital? Seems, well unlikely that she was doing it in her sleep.

Aside from these 3 incidents, how is the marriage? IS there ea reason you think she is doing this on purpose?

My question is this though, why do you two still SHARE a blanket when it's obviously NOT working?

I HAVE had "blanket fights" with husband (no hitting) trying to get some blanket because he WOULD hog it in his sleep. The OBVIOUS solution was to have separate blanket. There have been the "smacking" as you roll over and the other person is in the space where you hand ends up, again no need to trips to the ER. That has been remedied by going from a Queen size to a King size bed.

It almost sounds like you need to wear a cup/jock string going to bed.

But why NOT start with SEPARATE blankets? Maybe upgrade the bed size?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015):

you really made me laugh with wife / hubby saga. It sounds like an ad for a duvet.

Why is the duvet not big enough for the both of you?

Have you thought of sleeping in a sleeping bag ,wearing a groin shield just so no future accidents occur?

Is wife trained martial arts expert?

Just when i was thinking about how some men just moan and groan about nothing and blame the woman for everything that goes wrong in their life, then along comes your happy tale to make me laugh?

Whhy should i laugh?

Well its all in the telling...

But hospitals and ice packs on a regular basis..youve got to check that wife out to see if she belongs to the beatall tribe.

I would say just protect the crown jewells when having a blankie war.

Lay on your belly man and fart like crazy.

If shhe dont get up and leave the room in utter disgust then you know its deliberate action on her part.

Sweet dreams, sweet knight!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2015):

That is funny! But i would say accidents, if she really wanted to hurt you then attempts through a blanket would have made it blooming hard work, would be,easier to sock you in head than nuts. I suggest you go to wearing a cup :)

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