A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend gave me his Facebook password couple of months ago. We're in a long-distance relationship at the moment, and we message each other a lot on Facebook. He is planning to move here in 2 months, and I'm flying down in June to spend time with him.Couple of days ago, I logged into his account, went to his inbox and was going through all the messages I had sent him. Funnily enough, I saw a message from his girl. He had mentioned her a bunch of times and (in spite of knowing how wrong it is) I read through it. He had messaged her first. He wanted to know if she'd be interesting in promoting something for the company he works for. She declined, saying she probably wasn't the best person, blah blah. So he messaged her again trying to persuade her. He also mentioned that Saturday night was interesting. Apparently, she almost threw up on him when they went clubbing (I guess that's how they met). And he responded saying, she was quite embarrassed. Then he asked her if she'd be out Wednesday night. He told her that she will definitely be interested in the job even if it would take a little bit of convincing. And then, he ends the conversation saying "see you wednesday night :)"Soo I decided to ask him about it. When I did, he got worked up and said he was being purely professional. Then he said he has never looked at another woman the way he looks at me. So I let it go because deep down, I felt like he wouldn't cheat. Today, I logged into his profile again and noticed that HE HAD DELETED THE MESSAGE.. FROM HIS INBOX AND SENT. I feel like it could possibly be because she might have sent him a message that he didn't want me to read. I feel like he has been very clever about this by deleting it from both folders. Can someone tell me if I should be worried? Should I let it go or ask him about it? Pleaase help.
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female
reader, louisevandeburg  +, writes (27 May 2010):
As people have said before, you invaded his privacy and betrayed his trust. It's going to sound harsh, but stop snooping and don't go on.And if you trust him, stop suspecting him. They could JUST BE FRIENDS. :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 May 2010):
Of course he deleted them. You panicked, so he deleted them. Like so many people, you have jumped to the wrong conclusion based upon nothing. I would strongly suggest to you that you tell him to change his password. There is no indication at all that anything has happened. And if he was going to do something, it would be pretty clear. Do yourself a huge favour and get off his account, otherwise you will end up looking like a really paranoid girlfriend and you'll lose him.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Since you have raised this issue , it is natural for him to delete those messages so that it will not be a bone of contentions between you two.
I think you should just let it go and not ask him why? Close this issue and move on . Lingering on this issue will not do any good to the relationship.
Should you be worried? If you trust him , then you should not be worried but you can pay more attentions for any signs of cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, I feel like I'm in a difficult spot because by asking him about it, he would know that I'm snooping again. And I told him I wouldn't anymore the first time we talked about this message. I do trust him, but I can't help but wonder if he maybe attracted to her or may want to do something with her. Is it alright to be curious about this? I'm scared of looking like a fool if we end because there was actually something going on - so I'd rather know sooner than later.
PS. She added him on FB.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, I feel like I'm in a difficult spot because by asking him about it, he would know that I'm snooping again. And I told him I wouldn't anymore the first time we talked about this message. I do trust him, but I can't help but wonder if he maybe attracted to her or may want to do something with her. Is it alright to be curious about this? I'm scared of looking like a fool if we end because there was actually something going on - so I'd rather know sooner than later.
PS. She added him on FB.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): I think you should be straight up with him. However, you DID invade his privacy. You should acknowledge you did the wrong thing, but say that there is no way to undo what you saw there and tell him that it makes you uncomfortable. Let him know you feel bad for prying, but now its out there, your not comfortable with what is going on and suggest that he stops contacting her. It's not like they are close friends. They've met a couple of times. If he has a major issue with the stopping contact part, there is something going on. But if he is just angry that you are trying to tell him what to do and who to see, ask him how he'd feel if the situation was reversed.
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