A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There was a girl who I thought we got along very very well for 7-8 months, then she became very very withdrawn and quiet.We haven't spoken for 3 weeks now, I was the last one to text her. We met 3 years ago in a few days time, had we still been good friends, I wanted to send her a text message of the first message she ever sent to me on my phone exactly 1 year ago, it is tomorrow at 0130 in the morning, so I need to sort this out soon!I made a significant effort for months to try contact her, alas things never transpired as I was expecting, she never made the effort. Should I give it 1 last shot, not that I want a relationship anymore because I was very hurt by what she did ignoring me for so long, I don't want to be the one who brings up the question again of what happened for her to change 180 degrees it felt like.I somehow feel that if I don't, I'll miss a unique opportunity, even if she is with someone else now, not to think I was a bad guy, if I did anything wrong. I'm normally very reserved and calculating in these matters, and my pride got hit for a home run with her ignoring, but will I lose further face if she doesn't acknowledge the message or replies back to me?I do try very hard to be a good man, I may not see signs as I tend to see the best in people, which is an obvious weakness of mine.Ladies, at the worst, if someone you wanted to shrug off, how would you react if you got that message?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your input, as they say, l*ve is blind!!
The first cut is usually the deepest.
A
male
reader, Advice_man  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 I agree with the rest here. Erase any contact information of her from your cell phone and never ever contact her again. I know she broke your heart but you need to be a man and face the truth. Be strong and take her compleltly out of your mind. Best wishes bro.
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A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (25 July 2011):
 You are a good man. Truth is she has finished with things. Don't send the message and just don't bother. She clearly ignored you for amounts of time and hasn't been respecting you. Don't hold onto this anymore. She is not wanting to continue anything.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (25 July 2011):
 I don't think she will respond well to the message. She will probably think it is awkward, and may just ignore it. It sounds like it's coming from a well-meaning, idealistic place, but is not the kind o thing I could see going over well.
As a rule of thumb, the same romantic gesture will be seen as sweet and wonderful by a girl you've been steadily dating for at least a few months, or as creepy and stalker-ish by any other girl. Cute things like that only work to reinforce an existing relationship; they cannot be used to establish a new one.
You sound like a decent guy. The best thing you can do for yourself and any girl you meet is to go out and try to meet someone who will like you back. Make your intentions known early - be subtle, but be quick. Don't be afraid to take risks. And whenever you ask a girl out, if she claims to be busy but does not immediately offer an alternate time, she is rejecting you. Don't worry about losing face, looking bad, or making her feel awkward - chicks dig confidence, and confident guys are willing to risk disapproval.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 July 2011):
I think sadly, this is the time for you to bow away from this woman. Continue to be a good man, but don't make the mistake of chasing after a woman who so clearly doesn't have respect for you. I would just not contact her again.
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