A
male
age
30-35,
*een there, Done that
writes:As the scrren name may suggest i have done a lot of things in my short life, however there is one important thing i am yet to do , and yes , it is to lose my virginity .I am purely writing this looking for honest answers to the question, that is sex all its cracked up to be?Is it as good as everyone makes it out to be ?Thanks for reading. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): There are lots of different kinds of sex. Many of them are overrated.
There was a girl I knew in high school. After a long time of being friends, we had one of those WOW magical moments where the chemistry was amazing, we made out, and it was fabulous. But when we got to sex, it was awful. I almost wanted to check for her pulse to make sure it wasn't necrophilia. Like I'd had waaay better masturbation experiences, and felt less guilty afterward.
With another g/f around the same time, when she was into it, she was so into it that windows shattered. Still 30 years later some of my best memories. But the relationship ended up being awful. She gave me some astounding physical moments, but so much cringe-worthy stuff too.
And then followed 25 years of married sex. Some of which was transcendant. Some of which was 'kinda ok, hope it wasn't too bad for you.' And a couple of times where it was like masturbating using another body, i.e. yuck.
Bottom line is that a solid relationship is the only way to start off if you want a better-than-even chance that sex won't be overrated most of the time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): As Tisha said, it depends on your expectations. It has most times been great for me, sometimes good and occasionally disappointing. It depends on the partner and your feelings for each other. My single one night stand was a disappointment. There was no disappointment with the other 4 women who I had sex with.
Even with my wife and girlfriend of 30 years it has varied. It depends on how tired we are or how much we have had to drink, if anything at all. It depends on how long it has been since the last time or where our hormones are at that week or month. It depends on if we are after sex for the sex alone or as a show of love. It can be great sober or drunk, twice a day or twice a week. Sometimes our orgasms are just OK and sometimes they are near mind blowing, like the one time I tried to say something right after and my mouth moved, but no words came out. I couldn't speak for about a minute. Too bad it isn't like that all the time.
For both my wife and I it just got better with experience. She remembers how disappointing her first time was. My first time was pretty darn good. I think that might be sort of normal for men and women.
Expect it to be fun and feel good. Expect to have a few problems getting it right the first few times. Don't expect to envision the birth of the universe with your orgasm. It is much better if you like the other person and spend a lot of time with kissing and foreplay. And it only gets better over the years if the partners care for each other and work to improve their sex.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 It can be a pretty amazing feeling. As with anything, overuse of superlatives may set up expectations that can never be attained.
One of the problems you're going to have in researching this is that you're approaching it from the logical part of your brain. Sexual response doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with those bits of the brain; it's in a whole different area, I think. All senses are involved, let's see, sight, touch, smell, taste, sound. Yep! Those all trigger different areas of the brain.
One thing I think can be safely said: if you think too much about it, you can take all the magic out of it. Let's take going to a restaurant that's been getting absolutely fantastic, rave reviews, everyone is talking about it, there's hype about the whole experience. So you build up this whole fantasy about how great it's going to be. You show up on the day, practically drooling already, you're so ready for great food.
Then they can't find your reservation. They stand you to the side for half an hour while other parties get seated. You decide to stay because surely this place must be worth the wait.
You finally get seated, the waiter takes your drink order. And disappears. For 15 minutes. You try to wave another one down and finally get the waiter to take your order. And then you wait again.
They bring out the appetizers after what seems like forever, and yes, they are splendid. A little salty, perhaps, but innovative and tasty. The main courses arrive late as well. By now, the noise level in the restaurant has risen to approximately 2,500,000 decibels, so no one at your table can hear anything. Everyone is shouting. The gorgeous fireplace you've been seated close to is roasting the people closest to it. The person sitting next to the kitchen door keeps getting elbowed by the wait staff. Some idiot has lit a cigarette right outside the window and you are getting whiffs of nicotine in between bites of fabulous food.
You are enjoying the food, but the whole experience has left you a bit disappointed. The hype was right, the food was excellent. It was the overall experience that leaves you feeling somewhat disappointed and asking, "is this all there is? Is this what I waited an hour for?"
So my point, after a long walk around a big bush, is that yes, it is a great and wonderful thing. It all depends on the ambiance, the partner, the feelings, the entire experience. That's going to vary, obviously. The next restaurant you go to gets okay reviews, but you enjoy yourself thoroughly because the food is good enough and the whole experience is wonderful.
The same could be said for sex. I'll leave you to draw the obvious inferences.
Just relax, don't overthink this and please, try not to be jaded at age 18. It's so not attractive, and it means the rest of your life is going to be going downhill from here. You want to look forward to things, in my opinion.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 October 2009):
 I think sex can be amazing and it can be overrated. Same as anything really.
For many waiting on the "right" person to "pop the cherry" with makes it worth the wait. Personally I was almost 19 and he was definently the right guy. I'm really glad looking back that I didn't have sex just to have sex as many of my friends did at 16.
I think sex is more about yourself. Being able to be yourself - naked, bare, aroused with someone. Letting go of inhibitions, of worrying about personal/ physical "flaws" and just letting go. To give and receive.
So no sex doesn't HAVE to be overrated :)But there is more to life - to relationship then sex.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
Very good answer Tisha :). I agree with it. What do you think sex is all about? How do you feel about it? Do you see it as an emotional connection, or something that is just there for pleasure? It truly depends how you perceive sex
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A
male
reader, Been there, Done that +, writes (27 October 2009):
Been there, Done that is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell im just kinda going on hype, believing that its the best and most satisfying feeling you can have .Of course thats only hype, or is it ?Im 100 % aware of the emotional connections involved in sex , right now im only considering pleasure as i think i know about all emotional attatchments.Thanks for your answers[Moderator note: Combined two consecutive answers from poster in to one.]
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 October 2009):
It's really not possible to answer that question unless we know what your expectations of sex would be. What do you think it's cracked up to be?
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