A
female
age
36-40,
*labamgo
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for several months - we live an hour apart and spend weekends together, but I mostly don't see him during the week. Also, most of his close friends are girls, who he goes out drinking with on a regular basis. That being the case, I can't worry about what he does when I'm not around or it would make me crazy - and I usually don't. Lately, pictures of these outings are surfacing on facebook with him and one of these (very pretty and mid-divorce) friends looking pretty coupley (in one, she's biting the brim of his hat and winking, etc). I feel like posting this kind of picture is disrespectful to me and our relationship, but don't know how to bring it up without sounding like a jealous crazy person. Should I just trust and let go?
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (24 March 2011):
 What does he list as his relationship status? Is it assumed that the two of you have a mutually exclusive relationship? If so, then posting pictures of this nature is disrespectful and hurtful. You do need to talk to him about it, but you don't have to sound like a jealous crazy person when you do. The next weekend you are together approach him calmly. Tell him how seeing these picture of him with other women hurts you, even if they are just friends. If the situation were reversed, ask him how he would feel. If he is defensive, gets angry, and/or does not respond with concern, you might want to rethink this relationship. It could be that he wants his cake and eat it too. That is, he wants the security of a girlfriend, while having the fun of a single guy. It is not right of him to have both, and yes, this is disrespectful to you and also a red flag in terms of a long term relationship.
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