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age
51-59,
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writes: When my boyfriend and I first got together, I asked if he'd ever cheated on a girlfriend. He said yes, once. He said he was young and stupid. I didn't ask further about it until recently. I was curious about specifics, and he told me that he cheated with a girl that he'd known in high school. He said the 2 of them always hoped at some point they would be at the same place and be able to make it work. He says he cheated because of sex and because he felt it was a way to keep the connection. After he broke up a few years later with his girlfriend, he started dating the gf from high school again. They broke up for reasons he stated, which seem pretty numerous. He says I have nothing to worry about, and that he has, like most guys, outgrown this type of behavior. I think I have more questions, but don't know if I'd be pushing it. For e.g., what if this girl came back and was a changed person and wanted him back. He said he hoped that I was not judging him for what happened. I told him that I'm not, but I think I might have trouble trusting him in certain situations; for eg., if he was going to be at the same function as her. Should I just stop worrying about this and let it go? If so, how?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think I want him to know, by telling him how I would feel about any future contact with her, that I would not stay in the relationship if he had contact with her. I feel like if he knows before any contact has a chance to happen, he will definitely think twice. In the beginning of our relationship, he was emotional about this particular high school sweetheart not even wanting to talk to him anymore. That bothers me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to Caring Guy and the anonymous female reader for your replies. I keep thinking about "what ifs", and I know trying to avoid being hurt. I honestly think he will not betray me and I guess one cannot go through life trying to avoid hurt or they would never have love in their life. He does make me feel loved.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 November 2009):
Very occasionally. But not often. All I can say is has been honest, and it does sound like it was a long time ago. So take your time with him, and make sure he's making you feel loved.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): I'm a woman and I cheated on a ex-boyfriend before. I don't do it now. I was younger then and to be honest, I did it because I wanted to. No other reason but that. Now that I am in my 30s, I have no desire to cheat on my fiance. Even when we were having our arguments and problems, the need to go out there and look for someone else was out of the question. I know better.
To be honest, (just my opinion) that we all have done some form of cheating. Cheating doesn't have to be the actual act of sex. So look back into your own past and see if there was a little betrayal to a relationship on your part and see if you are being fair to your boyfriend. In order to have a successful relationship, you have to trust him. From your post, I don't see where it's indicated that he is cheating on you. This is a past relationship and don't allow what happened back then affect your present relationship now. (This is the reason why I don't discuss past relationships with my boyfriends). Don't worry about it for now. Just enjoy the relationship and be happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think that it would be wrong to tell him that I do not want him to be in contact with her, even as a friend, due to his past with her? One could say that I don't trust him, but there is a point of what is appropriate and what is not appropriate in situations. Why put temptation out there?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009): I don't think so. I believe people can change if they want. I've been the same situation you are now. On our first date my now ex gf told me that she had cheated on her previous bf but swore she liked me too much to do that to me. I believed her. well she still cheated on me but I'm sure if this guy truely loves you he will want to keep you and not cheat.
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