A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is normal for my boyfriend to bath and shower with his six year old son. He also, sleeps naked and allows his son to see him naked is this normal. Or red flags to where I should be concerned and running away from this man. I don’t have children. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2020): Yes, you should run away from this man. The last thing a man needs is a meddling woman who takes her unfounded "concerns" and airs them publicly behind her "boyfriend's" back. For HIS sake,run along and let him be loved by someone supportive, rational and less alarmist.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2020): I understand your sensitivities and concern, because there seems to be no barriers or buffer zones in our society these days; but you shouldn't jump to conclusions in this situation. Sometimes the first instinct is to be protective of children or the vulnerable. This is father bonding with child. It's a guy-thing! Common in many cultures.
In your own house behind closed-doors, you are free to practice your cultural and familial habits. Outsiders may not understand and apply unsavory meaning to things they don't understand, or are not familiar with.
As time passes, kids outgrow certain things; and will separate on their own. Like when a little-one pulls away, and doesn't want you to hold their hand. They become independent, and no longer want to be treated as a baby. Such will be the case for the boy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2020):
 …Got cut off.
.. Other families may be more reserved about showing their bodies, but many families behave just like your bf and that's OK too.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (11 May 2020):
I don't think there is anything strange in what your bf does, maybe you were raised in a different way,with more stress on privacy and modesty,- which does not mean, though, that your bf's the wrong way.
They are father and son ; and the child is only 6 ! Maybe I am an overprotective mom but personally I'd rather NOT let a 6 y.o. child shower unsupervised, he might slip and fall, he might scald himself,he might flood the bathroom..much better showering with his own father , since he can. As for letting the child seeing him naked, I don't think your bf makes a point of parading his nudity around the house or showing it off to the child, I suspect he just does not make a major production of having to wrap himself up like a mummy just for, say, going to the bathroom in the morning.
In short, I don't think you have got anything to worry about: other families may be more reserved about showing their bodies, but
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2020): No cause for alarm. Guys shower together in the gym, and boys shower together after practice or gym class. Dads bond with sons in different ways. If he was touching the child inappropriately, or if it was his daughter, there'd be cause for concern.
My brothers and I have seen our dad unclothed numerous times. We're all guys, and there was nothing sexual about it. Sleeping naked alone is no problem. Sleeping with his son while naked, might be too much; but you didn't say he did that.
If you're uncomfortable with it all; then perhaps you should move on. You might create problems; because you're judging with too much uncertainty.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (11 May 2020):
 I don’t find it particularly concerning. I saw my mum naked occasionally while I was growing up and, if anything, it made me feel more able to ask questions about if something was normal or something to see the doctor about. I didn’t see my dad naked (except from the back), but that was more his own boundaries than mine, growing up. I don’t see nakedness as odd between family members of the same gender (like it wouldn’t be in a public changing room). I probably wouldn’t think anything of it if I saw any of my family members naked, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable being the one naked and they wouldn’t feel comfortable with any nakedness, because they’re more reserved than I am about it. That said, my mum and I are generally less bothered by it. Sometimes we make a conscious effort to cover up, but we’re also quite relaxed in front of each other if one of us has just come out of the shower and he’s getting changed or something. It’s not weird or creepy for us, it’s just not something that we’re hung up on. It’s actually quite healthy for children to see their parents naked, up until 8 or so, as children of that age tend to start developing privacy and modesty to some degree, but having seen their parents naked allows them to feel comfortable asking about how bodies work and what is okay and not okay. This is particularly true for girls and their mums, when it comes to menstruation, as it becomes a lot less scary when you’ve seen it occasionally from your mum. That was my experience and that of my family anyway.His son can probably shower without him, though mild supervision for safety, but some families do get showering/bathing done at the same time, if they are the same gender - at least until the child wants privacy. As long as this man does accept when his son wants privacy, it doesn’t seem like anything to worry about.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 May 2020):
 I don't think it's super weird. If the child was female then yeah, pretty weird. A boy? less so.
But... but the age of 5-8 most kids develop a sense of modesty with their own body and is at age I'd say 6-7? DEFINITELY old enough to shower by themselves, they might need help adjusting the water (and the water heater should definitely be adjusted so it can't overheat water and scold the kiddo).
Would I be concerned? Not really.
If he mentions it I would just ask him why the kiddo isn't showering by himself by now.
But, it's something that YOU find strange and off putting so maybe he isn't quite right for you?
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (10 May 2020):
 From the limited information that you have provided in your post i would say there is no cause for concern.
The boy is only 6, virtually still a baby. Maybe if the boy was 15 or 16 maybe a cause for concern. And its his son, not someone from down the road. No i would not be concerned.
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