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Is my sexual obsession with my sister-in-law healthy... Or not?!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 September 2005) 116 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2011)
A male , *enjamin writes:

Dear Cupid,

I really need to know if I am "normal" and if this problem I have is common among married men.

Cut the story short, I have been having sexual fantasies about my wife's older sister for almost a year now. I'm so afraid its getting unhealthy as I seem to do so almost on a daily basis now.

It started when my wife was away for almost half a year, and during that time, I was of course physically lonely. Some things led to this problem I'm having: first a sexual dream about my sister in law which became more frequent. Then she called one morning while I was "doind my business" and her voice on the other side heightened the experience. Of course she didnt know what I was doing. But the daily sexual fantasies continue.

My thoughts of her involve images of her when she was in her mid 20's to 30. She is now 36 and looks vastly different so I hope it is just that - a fantasy of an imagined person.

Lastly, I must add I have never cheated on my wife. One other important thing to note is that my wife has lost her appetite for sex following her pregnancy and child delivery last year so I have been somewhat depreived for a rather extended period.

is it abnormal for me to start thinking about her sister sexually? is this a reaction to fill the void? Is it normal that I actually entertain the idea of "setting up" some sexual interaction with my sister in law, via internet, or non-contact sex? What worries me most is this: in my state of deprivation, I actually think of the possibility of sexual interaction with my sister in law but limited to cybersex, or even oral and mutual masturbation to fill the sexual void I am experiencing. Do I talk to her about it? a little over a year without sex is not at all easy!

I love my wife very much and prior to her second pregnancy last year and the birth of our second child, our sex life has been very active and normal.

Help its driving me nuts!

Benjamin T.

View related questions: cheated on my wife, cybersex, period, sex life, sister in law

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A male reader, Kyle007 United States +, writes (22 August 2011):

I have a sister-in-law that has "accidentally" shown me about every inch of her body over the years. From towels not completely covering her, to breastfeeding then forgetting the baby is off the nipple and just leaving her tit hanging there, to leaving the door open when she takes a piss to her outright telling me and my wife in their mom's kitchen that she is not wearing any bra or panties today, and while wearing a short skirt, jumping into a recliner, knees up. I am still not sure if I saw anything or not on that last one, but needless to say on each of these instances I excused myself to the bathroom to unclog my pipes, so to speak.

Did I get fantasies about her from that? You bet.

And she has flirted with me in other ways too, saying she wanted to get drunk with me at parties, slapping my knee, and sometimes when I make certain comments about myself, she says "That's why I love you" and it does NOT sound like the familial way.

With an amazing amount of self-control I have never ONCE ever gave her any sign that I was interested in her. And if I ever was interested in her, it was in her body only. Her personality is suspect, I think she is shallow, flaky, etc.

Also, I know that if I ever DID do anything, that she would immediately push me away and get me in trouble with everyone I know for doing anything.

My wife and I have discussed this. At first she thought I was being mean to her sister, once when I pushed her away from a press-the-tits-into-you hug and she said "you don't like me" with a frown on her face. I responded, "no, I don't". Several people at that party got a lower opinion of me that night, but I knew what was going on, and I explained it to my wife later.

My sister-in-law's sexual teasing is borne out of hostility to my wife, not to attraction to me.

Still, I do fantasize. I also avoid her.

I don't feel the least bit guilty about my fantasies about her.

I have had fantasies about other women that weren't so provoked. I don't feel guilty.

With all the agreements you have to make and all the freedom you have to let go of to be in a relationship, you should at least be entitled to your own thoughts. Its the only right you have in this world. Any other right given to you, say, by the state, can be taken away. Think about it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010):

hey i understand what you are going thru right now because i feel the same about my oldest sister in law too, some times i fantasies about her and even j.o. thinking of her,so i would say don't worry about it some day it will stop or even better you'll get to experience your fantasy,take care.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010):

normal as far as my personal feelings go. I fantasize about her almost every day!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010):

Lot of mention about "love" here I noticed, but do note, I never mentioned anything about loving my sister in law, nor falling in love with her. Just asking if its normal to want to screw her brains out.

Anyway, thanks for all responses. Keep them coming and maybe one day I will post up how this issue developed for me.

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A male reader, murali India +, writes (26 October 2010):

absolutely yes, i am married for 24 yrs and i am in love with my sil for 24 yrs as well, my wife is epitome of beauty and classic example of a perfect house wife, she is too good in bed, i have no complaints, whilst I fell for her sister in the same year of my marriage when i was taking her snap, through the camera lens i found my lady love, it was love at first lens sight, as mirrors dont lie i realised camers tell the truth, i found my lady love, the love of heaven, that pure ecstatic love which does not decrease by time but grow with it, my love for my sil is eternal. But friends, it took one year for me to tell her that i love her and i begged her not to tell anybody. The greatest moment in my life is she said she also fell in love with me since she knew me, this opening was a true love story. Then on, there was no looking back, we painted the town red, we sang, we romanced and we eloped to Goa and we got married and returned home to face furious inlaws and ofcourse my fuming wife, any how, after a bunch of big big fights, the case was disposed as "infatuation",,,

the nicest thing of making love to your sister in law is fullfilling the most desirable wish of any man, eating one cake and having another in hand, both cakes from the same bakery, men who enjoyed the cunts of two sisters will realize its purely a God's Blessing. It is equal to the happiness of ruling two kingdoms at the same time, a king with two queens.............so dear brothers, fall in love with you sil(if you have one) without wasting time before a wolf takes the first bite, it is your marriage right of share in the virgin pussy of ur sister in law, I approve.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

I see no one has posted here for a long while, but this is still an issue for many people - myself included.

I am not yet married, but likely soon will be. I love my girlfriend. She's everything I want, not to mention beautiful.

I have more "naturally" in common with her sister, however. Over the past two years, I have become more and more sexually attracted to her. We even seem to click better than I do with my girlfriend. She vibes with my viewpoints and it's like a natural flow, whereas my girlfriend and I are very different people. But, I think those differences help make me a better person and vice versa.

Even if her sister offered herself to me right now, and swore to never tell a soul - I don't think I could sleep with her. I would continue to torment myself thinking about her, wanting to be with her, and even perhaps take my resentment out on my girlfriend from time to time - but I wouldn't sleep with her sister. I'd regret it my whole life, yet still not do it. I love my girlfriend - incompatibilities and all. I'll have to settle for resentment and a great friendship with her sister. Anything else would be an utter disaster. I wish it could be different, but it can't. I choose to be grateful for the beautiful woman who loves me dearly. Gratitude heals hearts and deflects unhealthy obsessions.

I feel better when I think, in my heart of hearts, how she (my girlfriend's sister) deserves to be happy too and be with the person she is meant to be with...that person never to be me.

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A male reader, joll Singapore +, writes (12 September 2010):

I just chanced upon this website. Although the original question by Benjamin was in 2005, I would like to share my experience.

I was separated and later went through a divorce. Many wondered why I had become estranged from my wife, including my sister-in-law. One of the questions she asked me was whether it was the lack of sex that had led my wife astray. I had to tell her that as a Scorpio my sex drive was never in short supply. She asked me to tell her why I felt I had not let my wife down sexually. I told her that we also engaged in oral sex, to which she replied that and her husband had never engaged in oral sex.

A number of days later I went to visit them. They were about to go out but invited me to stay and watch a good movie on TV. Just as they were about to leave she came back into the house alone and hurriedly gave me a box of tissue paper and said," You poor boy! It's been two months since you separated. There is a porno tape in that drawer. Enjoy yourself. The tissue will come in handy."

That was the beginning of a new friendship.

I found out slowly that sexual relations between her and her husband was almost non-existant because of a sexual disorder in her husband.

I don't think either of us exploited the situation. It was more like two people in need satisfying a mutual need. We had sex about eight times. She is one of those girls who adore the male penis and the way it goes from a flacid to a throbbing state. With me she had no hesitation performing fellatio. Sex was a wonderful experience for us each time.

It's been almost ten years. We do not have sex anymore, but she still knows I am a breast man, and whenever possible will offer her breasts to me.

It's my feeling that what you do with another woman is your business. Only be discreet.

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A male reader, hindsight United States +, writes (21 July 2010):

The SIL fantasy is one that is best kept as a fantasy, as there's a lot more bad than good that can come of it. I'm fortunate to have a great relationship with my SIL, which is, was and will be strictly platonic. We'll innocently flirt back and forth occasionally, but nothing beyond that. However, I would be lying if I didn't admit to rubbing one out more than a few times thinking about her. Like most men have said here, it is the close similarities, but slight differences from my wife that makes it such a hot fantasy. I would actually say that my SIL is slightly less attractive than my wife (slightly heavier build, but not fat; but much larger breasts, probably twice the size).

I would never initiate anything, and honestly, would probably not reciprocate if she initiated anything. Now, if my wife initiated.....I don't know if my willpower is that strong. :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010):

In short my answer would be don't do it. But it seems that the asker has resolved the question, but never really describes how. If you get a chance, Benjamin, I'd be interested to hear more about your resolution.

Anyway, like most who replied, I am in that SIL boat as well.

I've been married three years and couldn't be happier for the most part, and I love my wife dearly. However she has a sister a couple years younger than her who is absolutely a knockout (my wife is beautiful in her own right, but her sister just takes it that extra level). Like the original asker, this is almost purely sexual/lust. Though we get along fine, I'm not "in love" with my SIL.

My SIL and I get along fine, but aren't exactly 'buddies', and to be fair, unlike many others here, she doesn't make passes or tease at all. In fact I think realistically that she would NOT like the idea of her and I having sex whatsoever. She seems slightly uncomfortable with a small hug and a peck (and is like that with everyone; it's in her nature not to be touchy feely). Also my wife would absolutely KILL me if she even knew I harbored these feelings, let alone acted on them; she is very conservative overall.

My wife definitely doesn't suspect anything, and it's highly doubtful that my SIL does either, though my eyes do wander from time to time especially when she's in skimpy bikini or low cut top; I'm only human. After all she's just smoking hot. I got a half erection one time just when she asked me to brush some sand off her bare back at the beach. Another time she was playing with a couple of her young cousins, and she tripped and fell her skirt flipping up and I could momentarily see just about the entirety of her red thong, and I helped her up. Call me odd but that gave me beat material for months.

On a couple occasions while my wife and I were dating, SIL would be away at college, and I stayed over my wife's parents' house, and was offered to sleep in SIL's bed (couldn't sleep with the wife under daddy's roof lol). I poked around in her drawers a little bit, but felt wrong doing much else; though I did definitely masturbate laying in her bed several times; had to do it since I'd be at full attention just by virtue of getting into her bed.

But since she would have zero interest, that makes things fairly easy for me by comparison with others here. I will never say anything to my wife or my SIL, and it will stay firmly in my fantasy. On a regular basis, I masturbate while thinking about and imagining having sex with my SIL (doing all manner of filthy things with her), but when having sex with my wife, my SIL USUALLY doesn't come to mind, but occasionally she slips in there... oh well.

I think it's a result of a few factors; 1) She looks much like my wife, just a hotter version, 2) She's frickin gorgeous by any measure, 3) It's something different/exciting since normally I only get to fuck my wife, 4) It's not some celebrity or stranger; it's someone that I see often that I get to interact with and touch (even if the touching is 100% non sexual), 4) My wife and I don't have sex as much as I'd like (but that's probably true for most men lol) and 5) (What really puts it over the top) The taboo/forbiddenness of the SIL factor is incredibly exciting and arousing to think about.

But I already know nothing will ever happen (and she also now has a serious boyfriend that I quite like), so as long as it stays a private fantasy, I don't forsee any actual issues. Even if SIL wanted it, in 99% of circumstances (that 1% being if I was impaired in some way) I would turn her down because as has been said here over and over: It's just not worth it.

Glad that there are others with these types of thoughts, and that it's not just me. Interested in hearing more about the original asker's resolution.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

I have been in love with my sil for many years . She knows it as well . I with I could stop my feelings for her but I can't. I have told her how I feel. She told my wife. I was devistated . I did not speak to my sil for two years , but I knew I still loved her. Time has gone by and my sil if flirting with me like never before. I don't know what to do . I do not recomend going down this road . No one wins . I have loved her since she was 16 and I was 22 I'm now 49 and she is 43 . I wish I never told her how I felt . That was a big mistake. She is devorced from her husbund now. and she knows how bad I want her . I curse the say I told her how I felt. It would have been so much better if I just kept it to myself.

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A male reader, The Answer to all your agony United States +, writes (1 January 2010):

I hope-I remembered it wrong..I read an article before about why a guy would want to have sex with their sister-in-law. The answer: THE WIFE HAS CHEATED. It's part of the process where they became bitter and want to get even in what there partner did to them. Perhaps, your wife has cheated on you and you are just misleading the question because you cannot accept fact that wife did you wrong.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009):

I had a unique experience with my wife and her sister. They were both very drunk and went into the bathroom together. A few minutes later they called me in and were topless covering their breasts with their hands. My wife asks if I wanted to make out with her sister while she gave me head. After a bit, I then suggested that we move into the bedroom. I did not penetrate my sister in law.

My advise, dont act on your sister in law unless your wife initiates it. You know that your wife has thought about it. Just try to get them both in a situation to invigorate it and only play with your sister in law when your wife is there and your wife wants it to happen.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009):

Ahh, the relief! I am not alone. Since about 2003, I have suffered under likewise circumstances. My sister-in-law is a darker version of my sandy-haired wife. Black, wavy, soft hair, brilliant white teeth, a hot, wet tongue she likes to push forward behind her teeth when she smiles for pictures, big naturally red lips, little brown freckles all over her body, huge tits, big hips, brown eyes, & overwhelming confidence. She likes to bend over and show them to me. We've flirted quite a bit. Our relationship started off with her being bitchy to me. So I was bitchy back. Then a mutual sexual attraction blossomed between us, partly out of frustration with each other. Then she started to tell me she loved me and kissed me on lips for hello's and goodbye's. In her kitchen not too long ago, as my wife walked through on her way to talk to her nephew, my sis-in-law watched her older sister leave, and then, as she was holding her kid, put her arm around me and pressed her beautiful body close to mine, a big hard nipple against my arm, her hand resting on my lower hip. I would like to say I would call on my honor if she ever made a pass at me, but I would be defenseless . I fantasize about her daily. I've tried to analyze the reasons for our attraction to each other: 1) It's taboo. 2) We are drawn together because of my wife. 3) We are both a little bored in marital sex life. 4) It makes life exciting to have potential flirting opportunities: a lingering touch, a quick game of footsie, a kiss on the lips...and she wets her lips before she kisses me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009):

OK guys, been married to my wife for 27 years, she has a hot & sexy younger sister. OK, not as hot & sexy as my wife, but hot. Funny, I will fantize about her when we are away, but when I am around her, she is not as sexy,,,Never have or ever will I do anything with her, we do flirt with each other, only when my wife is around.

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A male reader, nookie United States +, writes (26 August 2009):

It has been hard for my for the pass 10 years or so not to get into my sys in-law panties. It all began where she broke out with her boyfriend of 10 years. I guess I was the only close guy she new but the time and she start telling me all the sex she have with this guy, position etc.. Several times she has noticed me with a stiff stick and she has provoking me y browsing here behind against my genitals. This kind of situations goes back and fort for a whiles then stop then start it again. My point here is that we been playing this sex game for a while nothing serious have passed yet but I'm afraid of that one of this day she might let the cat loose and I might catch it. I love my wife but I can not start thinking do it her. Readying this site I have came out with the conclusion that this is just a fantasy and it should keep it that way. For those who already eat the cat, good luck in the future. Hopefully not body will find out.

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A male reader, Anton United States +, writes (26 August 2009):

I think it is perfectly normal. I too have the hots for one of my wife's sisters. I love my wife and we have a great life, so I know nothing would ever happen.

But in my fantasies, at least, I've fucked my sister-in-law many times ...and it's always hotter than hell.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009):

Whew... This is good to hear. I was a bit concerned that I was abnormal. Lets face it guys, a major reason many of us are extremely attracted to our SIL's is based on the fact that they are at least somewhat similar to our wives!

My wife and I have a great marriage and a pretty good sex life to boot, but I still fantasize about both of her younger sisters who are 3 and 5 years younger than I, both of which are married as well. I fantasize most often, however, about her youngest sister for basically two reasons: 1. She looks and acts more like my wife than my older SIL; 2. I know, or at least am pretty sure, that she finds me attractive in return.

Since she is now happily married and older, she hides it a bit better, but the signs are still there. I should point out that I am often totally oblivious to noticing when women like me, so I think she must make it at least somewhat obvious. I guess one thing that drives that point home is my wife has even mentioned to me before that "She [my SIL] REALLY likes you." Women reading this are probably thinking, "Oh she just thinks of you like a brother, get over it." I need to state for the record that the way my older SIL (wife's middle sister) and I interact is definitely like brother and sister. The way my youngest SIL interacts with me is different. And it's not different because I imagine it that way. She touches me differently. It's more light and lingers a bit longer. When we talk, she often gets closer to me than what must people would deem comfortable and she generally looks me in the eyes and touches my arm. There's more signals, but I think that proves my point.

At any rate, as huge a temptation as it might be to pursue something further, it's definitely NOT a good idea. I love my wife and her entire family and would never do anything to jeopardize that love and trust. It's not worth it. (I do like how one guy on here pointed out that its basically the same vagina. Lol.)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

Well it all started when I was dating my wife. We were both Juniors in highschool while her sister was a freshman. I never had a thing for her but when I would go over after work and visit outside her sister was always there and we seemed to get along. After things got serious with my now wife and pregnant I ended up moving in for a short time. I had seen her in just a towel several times and thought nothing. Then I noticed around that september same year that my now sil was flirting with me. She would come in and sit on my lap while watching TV, and bending over in front of me, and the walking around in long shirts thing happened more often. A couple weeks before Christmas she was sitting in my lap and she started talking about the decorations on the x-mas tree which was too my left. I said yeah I like that ornament and touched it. It fell off the tree. She turned left into me and reached across me breasts in my face and started grinding into my crotch with her butt. I was so uncomfortable I could not get hard on. That nite when I got home though I had blue balls as she sat on my lap all nite moving her butt around.

There were a few instances here and there as we have moved out but I had seen her in a towel here and there and she would still run upto me and jump in my arms and hug me and she still sat in my lap sometimes.

After she got serious with her boyfriend that all stopped. He may have said something I don't know.

One day when I was at her parents I had to go into the room for something I noticed a section of blinds missing from the blinds.

Since my in laws moved a block away from us I started going over there at nite waiting for them to get home hopeing to see something. Then one nite they came home and she changed in the bedroom and I got to see her.

At that point the infatuation was on full throttle.

They had a falling out with the in-laws and moved in with us about 3 months later...

One day I had this bright idea of using a mirror to peak into the bathroom.

I set up had everything ready and waited for the right time. Then one day home for lunch she went to take a shower. She closed the door and I immediatly ran for the mirror and made my way downthe hall. I kneeled down and placed the mirror at the edge of the door and started to look. She was bent over the tub turning on the water and was completly naked. Her pussy was perfectly shave, she had nice plump breasts that were hanging down and I was in heaven. That was until she looked back and noticed the mirror. She froze as did I. I sat there for a brief moment and got up and backed into my sons room.

The bathroom door opened and she came out in just a towle. She walked upto me and just stared at me for a couple minutes and then went back into the bathroom.

I was mortified. A couple days went by and nothing was said.

I got brave again and this time waiting till she was in the shower did the same as the shower curtain was see-through and watched her shower without knowing.

That went on for some time until she caught me. And then a couple weeks later she caught me again.

Nothing was ever said. I later realized the mirror was reflecting some of the bathroom lite back onto the shower curtain.

I dream about her I think about her she takes up most of my thoughts. She lives far away now but still when they come to visit I am trying to figure out ways to peep on her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008):

Wow, how did I find this site? I've been married 26 years, never really knew my sil because I was in the military and never near her. She is 4 years younger than my wife, whom I married when she was 21, so her sis was 17, skinny, gawky, ackward and immature at that time. The next time I saw her, she was 32, and hot, hot HOT. 2 kids didn't affect her body, she had grown up and was slender, athletic and very cute. We stayed at her house for 2 nights, and behind my wife's back, we flirted, and I beleive if the opportunity had been there, we would have had sex, but it was not to be. The next time I saw her, I had retired, and we invited her up, kids grown, divorced, to live with us. She was 39, and still looked great, and dressed pretty skimpy, tight, and short shorts, or skirts, very feminine, smelled delicious and girly, just the way I like them. My wife and I were OK together, but after being married for so long, we just took each other for granted, and when her sis moved in,,,,,oh my. The flirting started right away, behind my wife's back again, we had a hot tub, and all three of would get in. One day it just happened, my wife was gone, I came home and sil was in the hot tub, naked, and invited me in. We ended up having fantastic sex right there on the deck, and it didn't end, every chance we got alone, we were doing it, and she was hot, nasty and so sexy. After about a month, my wife pretty much caught on and confronted us, and we didn't deny it. She asked her sis to leave, she did, but I would do her again and again and again and my wife knows it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008):

I have been in love with my wife's brothers wife for 43 years,

We have never had sex but we do tease a lot and I have seen her naked not to mention a few years ago we owned a two door car and she and my wife would ride in the back seat and when I tilted the back seat forward for her to get out O always got a shot of her panties in between her legs.

When she calls my house to talk to my wife if I answer she tells me what color her panties are.

Would I have sex with her? I don't think so but you never know. She has told me that she would like to see me in her panties and on my knees. That was a big turn off for me. I think she dominates and petticoats her husband. So I try to avoid her as much as I can.

Should you go alll the way with your sil NO by all means don't do it. If she begins to feel quilty about it she will tell in a heart beat. Do you really want to live throught a divorce. I don't think so. Remember every good looking girl is some guys headache or some guys bitc*

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

My sil is a major hottie and I not only want to fuck her so bad it hurts, but I honestly have much stronger feelings for her than I thought possible. She often comes to me for advice and has flirted on more than one occasion. I love my wife, but can't understand how I can have such strong feelings for both. I know that acting upon my feelings would be wrong and I don't think I could ever do it, but man do I want to experience making love to her just once. I almost always imagine her when having sex with my wife, or I fantasize about both of them. I guess I will have to settle for loving her in my imagination, thankfully I have a very good imagination.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

I too have very frequent fantasies about my sister in law. She's smart, funny and we get along great. Her sister often comes to me for advice and she is admittedly wanting a relationship like ours, we rarely fight and get a long fairly well. My sil is incredibly hot and I she has flirted with me on a few occasions. I love my wife and admit that I have strong feelings for my sil, but I don't think I could actually act on my lustful feelings. Though I must admit that I would love to just once experience making love to my sil.

I think about her daily, including when I am having sex with the wife. I don't think anything could ever come of it, but it is weird having such incredible feelings for two women at the same time. If I could combine everything I love about both of them into a single woman she would be my dream come true.

But alas I will have to settle for loving my sil only in my imagination.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

I don't know if lusting over my (our) sister-in-laws is bad or normal or healthy, but with the answers so far, I believe it IS normal.

I've been married for 5 years now and me and my wife have been together for a total of 10 years. When I met her sister before (who happens to be her twin-sister - but they're paternal not identical twins) I never really thought "damn, she's so pretty." Until I had the chance to live with them in one dormitory back in college. There, I started to notice her beauty. I started to lust over her when my wife got pregnant and all that stuff. I used to peep on the bathroom window and see her precious while she took a bath. When I masturbate, it's her I think of. I even videotaped her once when she was also taking a bath and masturbated on it several hundred times already. She is so lovely and successful and sexy and I definitely want to fuck her. The one thing you people don't have in you sister-in-laws is mine being a virgin. I know. She's a little conservative. Goes to church every Sunday and stuff like that. (But you know these type of girls. Once you get started with the "deed" they'll tend to be unstoppable.) She had had 2 boyfriends and yet nobody has ever taken her to the next level. We're all living together in one roof and every time everybody's sleeping already, I just want to go to her room and just take advantage of her deep slumber. Which I did once and man, it was awesome. She sleeps without a bra and just shorts and she tends to bring her shirt up so that her BIG boobs is out (but nobody will notice that - because she wraps herself with a blanket - unless they are me, and I used to slide my hand underneath the blanket and just work my way to her boobies). I once sucked her nipples when one night she came home so tired from work, wasn't able to eat, and just went straight to her room. I thought to myself then, "I'm ready to die now." because I just sucked her nipples without her even feeling it. I know she knew that given just the slightest of chances, just the slightest, I'll fuck her. She flirts sometimes. I remember one time there was this one big occasion in our house and everybody got drunk (boys) and tipsy (girls). I recall I caught her giving me glimpses with a smile that makes me hard whenever I think of it (like now when I'm writing this). I want to fuck her really. But I don't know how will I go about it. As one reader said, tell her that and it could easily bring down the house. I love my wife. But I want to fuck her sister for life. I want to be the one who show her what it's like to have sex. And when I do it, I'm gonna eat her pussy like I've never eaten a pussy before.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008):

dont do it. my sister in law is always trying to bait me into making a move on her, but i know the type of person she is. she's always talking about other peoples business and is loud as i dont know what. she'seen through numerous relationships and her marriage ended in a terror because her husband couldn't take it anymore. she's now married to this guy in prison and when he gets out in 30 days he's going to run for the hills also. your sister in law is just trying to ruin your happiness because she never can find any of her own and like they say misery loves company. just stick to your wife and if you must fantasize let it just be that. remember they both came from the same parents so all your doing is getting the same thing. the skills might be different but that's all. my wife sister boobs are bigger than her's but my wife's butt is more plump than her sister's. it's all in your mind. stay away and don't make the mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007):

Hello guys. My name is Sheila, I once caught my younger sisters boyfriend (now her husband) playing with my panties. He was very infatuated with me and when I confronted him he confessed tohave been jacking off with my panties and pantyhose for a few years. He even said sometimes he would put my clothes on just so he could pretend he was close to me. Well it turned me on so much that I had sex with him right then and there. That was 12 years ago adn we are still having our f****** sessions. I get very turned on by the way we have sex. It is very dirty and if anyone ever found out I would be labeled a whore or slut (not just because he is my sisters husband but because of what I am willing to do). He has taken me to parties where he shared me with his friends and some strangers. I love it. He has turned me into a sex monster. The other night we were talking about other people and he said he would love to be with his wifes twin sister ( my other sister). Any way if she keep quite like I have then I say you should do it.

Love Sheila

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007):

dont do it. my sister in law moved in with us for a while and all she do is run her mouth. she has a habit of wearing skimpy night gowns when she needs money or some sort of favor. any other time she dressed like the holy mary sleeping in sweat pants and regular tee shirt. its just a fantasy and dont follow through with it or you will be sorry. its just a fantasy and keep it that way. go and spend as much time with your wife as you can and forget about your sister in law. its not worth it. she will tell as soon as she can or she will blackmail you for the rest of your life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007):

I too have had sexual desires for my sil.I have been married for 5 yrs.I have been with my wife for 9 years.I am 24 my wife is 27 my sil is 24.Sometimes when i see my sil i just cant help thinking about banging the piss out of her.Im not possitive but i think she may know that i would screw her if she gave me the chance.My sil lives directly in front of me and i see her everyday.Here recently she has been spending the night with my wife when i work 3rd shift.I will come in in the morning and there she is in my bed asleep.The other morning i came in and her shirt was pulled up over her boobs,I just stood there contemplating on if i should touch them or not.I ended up chickening out.About 2 yrs ago i had got off work and me and some friends of mine went out drinking.I came home to find my sil in my bed beside my wife.So me being good and liquored up i decided that i would wake her to see if she wanted to fuck.So i layed in the bed beside her and put my hand on her stomach causiously waiting to be rejected.She took my hand and put it down her panties,As i began to rub her pussy she rolled towards me and grabbed my cock.I started pulling her pants off and the damn alarm clock went off.She reached over and cut it off immediatly and we stopped everything right then.Realizing what had happened the next morning i was scared shitless,but she has never said anything about that night.I am confused because I dont know if she remembers that happening or not.I have never been good at picking up on females giving u the "lets get it on signs"but my sil does and says things that some would consider to be inappriate,like when im in bed and she comes over she ask me if i want her to climb in the bed with me, in front of my wife,or she comes out to our house in a robe and nothing else to borrow my wifes cloths,and makes a point to say you know u want me,or walking around in nothing but a thin t-shirt and no bra knowing damn well her nipples are showing.I just dont know if it would be a wise decision to persue this.One thing is it is just a sexual fantasy,she has nothing else i would be interested in.Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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A male reader, bucdotcom United States +, writes (4 September 2007):

man i feel you all of you guys. i will skip past the similarities in what has been mentioned already to the twist in my situation which is: my wife, who is very sexy at 24, has an older twin sister, who is just as attractive. now these sisters are different. my wife being the somewhat sucessful one and her sister being the now so sucessful one. this drives the jeliousy. its as if her sister is trying to get my to break.

we are all 24 and my wife and i have been married for 6 years now (well, in december), so this has been going on for some time now. i am telling you...S M O K I N...

this is a bad thing, i know. i am worried that my wife will pick up on HER doing something and will automatically blame me as having instigated. NOTE: aside from all of this, our marrige is great. we have two beautiful children who are above average intelligence. we cant ask for more from a marriage. its just this evil twin bum sister.

i thought i was alone

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007):

if i were you guys i would not do it. its the same as your wife. maybe she might have more of a package put together but in the end its the same vagina. they both came from the same sets of parents. and what if your sister in law has a sexual disease? now you have given it to your wife and she will know where you got it from. my sister in law use to push her breast up against me acting like she was trying to kiss my kids when i would hold them, and after i realize what she was doing i started avoiding her. i am so happy i did because this women cant keep the missing letter of the alphabet to herself. her mouth is so big and she is constantly complaining and always thinks she is right. this is what i put up with now that she stays with us. dont do it!!!!!!!! it will be the worst mistake of your life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007):

I think it is very healthy. I have had strong feelings for my sister-in-law since we first met, and this was before i started dating my wife. I loved everything about her, and i still do. The way she talks to me, the way she deals with everything and the way my emotions change greatly depending on the mood she is in, it's great.

Me and my wife have a nice relationship, we argue occasionly, but who doesn't, and we have some good times. But after a month or so, all of my feelings always seem to go straight back to her sister, and everyday i think about what to do.

We get on great, and have flirted many times. I know she likes me too because we talked about it before and i have even spent the night at her place before, after she made all the moves.

I hope there aren't too many men like me out there who do nothing about this, because a love like this is too precious to ignore, and somehow i have been ignoring it for 5 years. 5 years too long to be honest, but too scared of the obvious circumstances, what can i do.

I hope no-one else has to go through this, and good luck with your problem mate x

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A male reader, benjamin +, writes (15 August 2007):

benjamin is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your input everyone. Problem solved.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2007):

I'm glad other guys are talking about shaging their wife's sisters, as I am ashamed at myself for having done this. My wife is korean and her younger sisters are even more beutiful than her. Big hot boobs too, my wife's are small. So anyway her younger sister comes over to our country and decides to travel around the South. While she was at a hostel one night she shagged a guy and made the mistake of telling my wife, who then told me. I thought she was really virginal and the news drove me mad with lust. After travelling she stayed at our house about a month and I tried hard as I could to get her staying up late and drunk, and finally it worked. my wife was asleep and I shagged her on the sofa, she was so drunk she couldn't really remember and actually complained to my wife about having a sore pussy in the morning. Her father is really traditional and protective, and if he ever found out he would definately try to kill me. Not learning my lesson I tried to shag her other sister but the same method when she came to visit, but I had to hastily stop as her sister grew suspicious of my intentions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007):

This article dates back almost 2 years. Still, Good Stuff.

I have been fantasizing about my girl friends sister for a few months now. The funny thing is that I kissed her before I started dating my girl friend. It was in grammar school. The other day she was over our place and she bent over to tie her shoes. She has Huge breast and I couldn’t help but to look, the bra was not big enough for her breast and I was able to see her nipples. Now I can’t stop thinking of her. I want her badly. I sometimes give her rides home and we don’t really talk in the car it is very tense. I have never made any advance so she should have no reason to be tense around me. I wonder if she feels the way I do. I love my girl, but if her sister ever wanted to I would jump on her immediately. I would love to have a secret relationship with her. The type that lasts until our graves, but I will take all the advice I read today and let her make the move.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2007):

I love my sil and her kids. She has grown up kids, and dont look her age the same as my wife - the difference is, she takes an interest in me unlike the wife. She doesnt know my feelings, neither does my wife and I would suspect it would split the family but hey, Im a guy, and she has an interest in me - my wife doesnt.

I have been married for quite some time and remember seeing my sil at our wedding reception (the 1st time we met) and thinking holy shit, i messed up.

With us guys, it aint all about sex - yeah I would love to bang my sil but at the same time its just the company - we just get on so much better. She is virtually my best mate.

People meet, people change - thats life and unfortunatly marraige - if it dont work then change it.

Me? I cant take the risk - my daughter is my priority - if a lifetime of lies for me means a good and healthy start to life for her is the price i pay, then so be it.

Avoid your sil i say - nothing is a secret forever - I love and want mine to death but even that aint worth the risk of losing what i have right now even if it doesnt please me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007):

I think you men are all very remarkable not giving in to your Sister in Law’s sexy antics. I have been married for 30 years and most of the time I have fanaticised about her. I have phoned chat lines and got the women on the line to help me in my fantasy. Over the years I have flirted with her and let her know I want to have sex with her but nothing ever happened. Until we both retired and her husband and my wife are still working. She needed a new passport and asked me to take some digital photos of her so she could select a good one to use in her passport. During the photo shute I suggested she did just one glamour pose and she agreed saying “they mustn’t find out” so down to her panties and bra she went and I took six shots which I downloaded onto her computer. She looked very sexy for her age so I asked her to do a nude session and after a pause and looks of uncertainty off came her bra and I took a couple of shots. At this point I joined her on the couch and slipped my fingers in the leg of her knickers and eased them to one side rubbing my finger over her lips. Her arms came round my neck and we kissed with in second my cloths were off and then I slid her knickers off her and we were in a naked embrace. She slid down and lay on the couch and I eased her legs apart and climbed between. We were now making love and both having orgasms. This started us having almost daily sex together and we consider nothing is not aloud so long as we both enjoy it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007):

First, you need to engage your wife in conversation about sex and her current aversion. Once started, you could cautiously explore sharing your fantasies of your sil.

Depending on the strength of the marriage and your wife's reaction, maybe it's possible to have some fun with her sister. We have been married 25 years and over 5 years ago added some variation to monotony - excuse me - monogamy with very good outcomes. DISCLAIMER: This is not, however, for a troubled or fragile relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2007):

Okay, first of all going without sex in a marriage is something that should be dealt with in therapy. That is not part of a healthy love relationship. She shouldn't just allow the marriage to nose-dive because that is what will happen. And, for your part, you shouldn't let her get all apathetic for romance, intimacy and passion.

I won't say don't do it with her sister-in-law. That is your sole decision.

If the marriage is completely on the rocks after therapy and time and effort to save it, then you may consider taking a break from eachother. During this time it is better that you don't start boinking her sister! If after all your efforts, you decide as a couple it's really not going to work out, and you want to pursue a relationship with your SIL (love and flowers as opposed to simply getting your rocks off to stroke your ego) then you have to bear in mind that your ex will remain part of your filial circle.

All-in-all it's probably better to work on re-creating the original spark with your wife, rather than wandering off down a road of trial and error with this or that babe, cute and not so cute.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007):

I got this obsession too, after i got heavily teased by my g/f younger sister. She made not too subtle sexual advance( lying on the couch glancing in my eyes pressing both her legs to her chest) when we were alone, it wasnt going too well with my g/f... she was 16, i was 20 and my g/f 24...

I thought she wasn't exactly knowing what she was doing at the time judging her age...

Afterwards, it was those cleavage leaning, those thin morning outfits, the bikinis, just her scent drives me nuts.

I just avoid getting too much into alchohol..to keep things under control.

Men aren't made of wood.

I never really fantasized about any other women ever, until my girlfriend put a lot of weight and wouldnt want to make out. Or if i ever dare asking being replied: we did it not too long ago(being 2 weeks or more) or that long sigh.

I feel like it's her who drop the physical part of our relationship in the first place, and i wouldn't feel guilty one bit for "cheating"(or taking somewhere else what she cant give me).

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

I haven't had sex with my wife since she had the hysterectomy. That was 4 years ago.I used to fantasize

about my SIL, but she lives on the other side of the globe,

and so she faded away after some time.

Over time my sex drive declined and sex lost it's importance.Sour grapes, ok, but only partly. I tried to

flirt with women -mainly younger women- but they were not

all interested in a balding, middle aged plonker. I understand them.

So somewhere along the line I just gave up. My wife and me

had absolutely great sex.I don't think that any other

woman could give me the same thrill. Sour grapes ? Maybe.

But maybe it's not bad the way it is now. I feel less pushed by my sex drive, I can focus on other things in life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

I haven't had sex with my wife since she had the hysterectomy. That was 4 years ago.I used to fantasize

about my SIL, but she lives on the other side of the globe,

and so she faded away after some time.

Over time my sex drive declined and sex lost it's importance.Sour grapes, ok, but only partly. I tried to

flirt with women -mainly younger women- but they were not

all interested in a balding, middle aged plonker. I understand them.

So somewhere along the line I just gave up. My wife and me

had absolutely great sex.I don't think that any other

woman could give me the same thrill. Sour grapes ? Maybe.

But maybe it's not bad the way it is now. I feel less pushed by my sex drive, I can focus on other things in life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007):

This question of whether or not it is "healthy" is completely gonzo. If you describe it as a sexual obsession, then you cannot possibly imagine it is in some way also healthy. Having said that, having fantasies is perfectly normal, and probably a healthy sign of a functioning libido. The trick is to keep it as a fantasy and to enjoy it for your personal "entertainment." Your wife probably has had her share of them, too, (surprised?)in spite of the fact she may presently find herself in a slump, feeling frigid, particularly following childbirth. My SIL has so many devious ways of getting my attention, that you wouldn't believe it: braless in a loose-knit sweater ("Hey, nice nipples, I hardly noticed!"); pumping her pussy against my cock during a friendly hug ("Hey, watch it, those are the family jewels!); greeting me at her door just out of the shower, wearing only a towel, knowing my daughter was present and I couldn't touch her. ("So, I guess you didn't have a minute to put some clothes on??") You get the picture. She's scandalous and she knows it, but you know I am thankful in that this desire for her keeps me buff (jogging, working out, etc.) and makes me want to attract all women, not just her! Keep it private and enjoy it for yourself. (By the way, reality is rude!)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2007):

Over the three years of my marriage to my beautiful wife, my sister-in-law has all but noticed me. She actually was somewhat rude and unaccepting of me during the courtship with my wife. Her rudeness was severe enough that I mentioned it to my then fiance several times and compared her behavior with my soon-to-be father-in-law.

I've always thought that my sister-in-law was pretty and sexy. She's got a beautiful face, a great ass, and nice breasts--not too small, but not really big either. She's athletic, but not overly. She's fairly curvy and has pretty, long brown hair. She's not a tease. She's very intelligent. She too has been married for a few years.

My wife and I have recently had a child--a beautiful, healthy little girl. She's the joy of our lives, but undoubtedly has added a lot of tension and has been challenging. Her arrival has without doubt spurred reflection on my identity as father, husband, and man. At times, I've felt very trapped and have looked at my wife with unwarranted scorn and also have lost some of my sexual desire for her. I've had thoughts of leaving her and at times, my eyes fixate on every attractive woman I encounter.

Anyway, over the last two or three family trips (to the beach, back home, Spring break), my relationship with my sister-in-law has changed. She used to chastise me, make smart comments, or generally act somewhat unfriendly. When I'd "flirt" with her physically (pinch her or playfully poke), she'd act kind of put off or a little bitchy. But over the last few family trips, that's all stopped. At the same time, I've put on my peacock strut and have tried to woo her with compassionate and gentle listening and conversation coupled with manly bravado. To some extent, it seems she's fallen for it.

On our last family meeting, just days ago, we were separated from the rest of the family for an hour or so running an errand. We had had a few drinks and had both let down our defenses. During our time alone, we chatted about this and that and for the first time in our relationship she reached over and casually touched my hands. We both acknowledged what just happened then she moved her hands and there was a short pause. Neither of us said or did anything. We finished our conversation and the errand and then rejoined the rest of the family.

That was the last night of the family trip. As we bid our farewells, she and I hugged goodbye. Her breasts pushed up against my chest. I imagined my left hand gently but firmly grasping and squeezing the back of her neck and my right hand sliding across her stomach and down her pants. We released our embrace and half-heartedly said, "It was nice to see you again."

As the family departed, we waved our goodbyes. As they walked away my eyes met hers for three or four seconds which seemed to last four or five minutes.

Now, just days later, I can't stop thinking about her, fantasize of having sex with her, and what would've happened if I would've kissed her. I regret missing the opportunity to kiss her while on our errand. Almost as frequently, I think "Thank God you haven't yet fucked this marriage up by kissing your sister-in-law!"

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2007):

Yeah, I hear you guys. It's pretty much the classic fantasy scenario, especially when the SIL is younger, hasn't borne any children, works out, dresses sexy and plays up the flirtation to an art. One time in the heat of a marital spat, I too, blurted to my wife that I have resisted her sister's advances for years. Definitely a faux pas. She may have suspected it beforehand, but my admission just cut her confidence in me. I thought it would reassure her, but it had the opposite effect. We did the therapy and all and I have never to this day mentioned a word to my SIL about my feelings for her. Well, she knows! Yeah, the grass is greener, alright. She has had so many boyfriends over the years, but can't keep them because she is a manipulator and too selfish and controlling. She's beautiful and she knows it, but after a physical fling with her, the guys just run in the opposite direction. If your SIL is purring for you, it could be she wants to see if she can overpower you for her own amusement. Don't betray your wife for a player. Think with your head, not your gonads. Nourish your marriage.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2007):

i understand where you are coming from but do not do it under any circumstances. i to have a thing for my SIL but its mostly just infactuation. before me and my wife got married i think my SIL was trying to bait me into trying to do something because she would always press her cleavage against me and see how i would respond. at first i though it was accidental but then i realize it was on purpose. after a while she stopped and her attitude changed towards me completely when i would not respond and starting avoiding her. now she is living with us and i can tell you that im glad i followed my morals and didnt do anything with her. she couldn't keep the missing letter in the alphabet a secret because she tells and talks about everything she sees and hear and do. all of her relationships and marriage have been horrible and its mostly because of her personality and attitude. i think my wife sometimes doesn't trust her and really doesn't want her living with us anymore. last week my wife did something strange to me and i realized that she did it because me and her sister had been home alone for about four hours. she doesn't have to worry about me and her sister because her sister had an S.T.D when she got married and didnt know it and gave it to her husband and now they are divorced. just imagine what would have happened if i had did it with her 4 years back. i would have got the S.T.D and gave it to my wife and then there would have been no way of hiding it. its better to be safe than sorry and if your that bad off go and get yourself and your wife some adult material and novelties and you will forget about your SIL in no time

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007):

maybe you need to talk to her or go to a marrige counceler!

i helps ive been there!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007):

God ! I thought I was the only guilty guy thinking about my SIL !!

I'm 36 yr old, married for last 7 years. My wife has lost all her sex drive after two deliveries and some health problem to my kid. I feel I've lost her completely. Nowadays, our sex is just mechanical that too after a lot of prodding !

Don't know if it is the 7 year itch or what ? I am going crazy over my SIL who is 34 yet very slim and attractive. I get turned on by her twins !! Fact is, she is also very aware of my naughty looks but appears to keep herself in check.

I am scared one false move might spoil it all. However, I feel she too needs IT becos I see here reading voraciously novels on love, the girly mills & boon type.

I go hard thinking about her...infact right now typing this !!

What do i do ?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007):

Healthy, I too am afflicted. The key is to never act on those lustful thoughts; just keep them to yourself.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007):

It's completely normal to fantasize about your sister in law. Two of my wifes sisters are beautiful & I fantasize about them, they are both getting older & I too think of them as they were when I had first met them. My wife is the youngest of the sisters & by some accounts the most attractive. We have a very active sex life & she doesn't deny me anything in the bedroom & I still wish I could have all three of them.

I might be a dog for thinking it, but I never acted on it. As long as you don't act on it I see no problem; I would advise you not to attempt to strike up any sort of sexual relationship with your wifes sister....I mean absolutely nothing, no cyber sex, no anything. One of my wifes sisters knows I would have sex with her in a heart beat if it weren't for my wife & even though we talk on the phone when she calls it's never sexually charged even though she's aware of what I think about her.

It's funny because the other sister I think is attractive is separating from her husband because their older sister (who is an ugly hag in my opinion) is fooling around with him. Just do yourself a favor & keep it a fantasy or you'll have no end to the headaches; don't forget you have children to think about also.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007):

I received a call today from a lady in the A P office area wanting to know if I knew where a certain file box was located. I asked for some numbers and looked it up and told her it was in another building on the grounds. She asked if she could help me look for it. I told her yes because she knew what was written on the box. I met her at the location and we went in. I have seen this lady before and we have exchanged smiles and greetings in the past. I opened the door and we walked in. It was dark except for the light from the windows and there is no electricity in this building. We walked around and found several pallets with boxes on them. She looked at one and then another. I followed behind her. She knelt down in front of me and was looking at the boxes on the bottom of a large stack. She was talking and looked up at me and her face was about a foot from my crotch. She glanced at my zipper as her eyes came up to mine and I listened half heartedly to what she was saying. Her presence near my penis made me think thoughts of pleasure and I began to swell.

She lost her balance and her hand swung forward and she caught herself on my knee. I reached down and took hold of her arm and helped her regain her balance. As she rose upward her face came within inches of my semi-erect penis. She stood and walked some more and stepped between two pallets to see if she could find her box. When she re appeared in front of me, she had dust all over her shirt where her breast had rubbed against the pallet. It high-lighted them. We walked around and chatted and I stayed erect. When she decided she could not find what she was looking for, she said she would just make up something for the files. We started out the door and I told her she had dust and dirt on her back and hips. I started patting her back and acting like I was removing dust and then patted her right check. I said I was not trying to get fresh but she didn’t mind. She turned toward me and I told her she had it on the front of her shirt as well. I jokingly asked her if she wanted me to wipe that off as well. She said well, go ahead. So I patted down her upper shirt and felt her breast at the same time. She was as surprised as I was that I was running my hand across her chest. Then she leaned forward and hugged me. Now my dick was ragging inside my shorts. I reached down to make an adjustment and let her know that my tool was stiff. She looked at the bulge and said “wow, you must be happy to see me.” I said I guess I was. We started toward the door again and she stopped and I or shall I say “it” bumped into her. She said “feel me one more time.” I placed my hands on her breast and slowly fondled them. She groaned and then placed her hand on my bulge. I groaned. She ran her fingers up and down my zipper and then pressed her hand against it. I reached down and unzipped my pants and she reached in and maneuvered the long stiff rod out of my pants. She pulled on it and it winked at her. Some pre-cum was on the tip and she touched it with her finger and smeared it around the head.

I continued to molest her breast as she stood there looking at my shaft. I wondered if she would do what I was wanting her to do. She squeezed my dick and more liquid slipped out. Her finger caught it and she raised it to her mouth and slipped the wet finger between her lips. I moaned at the sight of that. She pulled her finger out of her mouth and touched the head again with her moist saliva covered finger. The penis was only about eight inches from her mouth. Suddenly she leaned forward and took it in her mouth. I squeezed her nipples and held on tight as she pressed her teeth into my rock hard dick. She started stroking back and forth. She went deep, very deep and used her teeth as a pleasure instrument against the skin. She pulled out and began nibbling on the head. Her left hand squeezed me again and more pre-cum slipped out the hole. Her tongue took it and rolled it around the head. Then it happened, I came with an explosion that almost knocked me off my feet. She totally engulfed my penis and had the head in the back of her throat. Cum came out of me and went straight down the back of her tongue and into her belly. She sucked and sucked till there was no more to cum. She slowly started to release me but savored every drop. My hands slowed down on her breast and I backed away. She looked at me and smiled and said, “thank you.” How backward was that. I should have thanked her. I squeezed my penis one more time before slipping it back in my shorts. A little more cream slipped out and she leaned forward and licked it off. I then put it away and we walked out the door and I told her that if she needed any more files to call me. She assured me she would and we went back to work.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

I too have a thing for my sister in law. I used to have to only imagine what she looked liked naked. I had of course seen her several times in her bikini, but never nude. Finally, (opportunity presented itself)I got the chance to see her stepping out of the shower. She has the most amazing breasts and her body is nearly perfect, just like I had imagined. Since that first time I have had the chance to see her fully nude 5 times. Each time is more exciting than the last. I still have a thing for her, but now I know what she looks like naked...fantastic!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007):

I have craved my sil for years. She like her sister is absolutely beautiful. She and I have always flirted and been very touchy feely with each other, so much so that we both knew we had the other worked up. Two years ago while my wife was out of town my sil stayed over the house at my wife's request. We started the night out eating and drinking and feeling really good. While watching TV I reached over and tickled her quickly and pulled away but from the look on her face we were not done. We each made little jabs and touches at each other that turned into some light wrestling and holding. The next thing I knew we were face to face (like that was an accident) staring at each other. In two seconds we were involved in a passionate kiss and groping session and pulling the others clothes off. We had some incredibly sex all through the night and woke up in the morning wondering where this was going. I adore my wife and she was engaged and said once was enough and it was more fun then either of us had imagined. A month later we were back in the sack and decided we could keep this up and now have our thing once a month and it has been great. We both keep it as fun wild sex outside of our relationship and thats it. We've experienced no repercussions or awkward moments even when we flirt around the family because that is what we always did. It can work if you want it to and can keep it all in perspective. My sex life with my wife is also amazing, we've done some serious swinging and loved that life. We are taught guilt throughout our lives and it holds us back. Life is fun.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007):

I have the opposite problem. My brother-in-law is infatuated with my wife and has been quite open about it since before I married her. He often talks quite openly about wanting a threesome, letting me sleep with his wife or wife swapping. This makes everyone else quite uncomfortable, but everyone tacitly plays along as if its "just a joke".

Recently, I've been getting funny vibes from my sis in law and I'm starting to wonder if SHE is starting to think about it too. I've had a few dreams about scenarios where we all get it on, but they always turn out very badly. I suspect this is my subconscious giving me a fairly blunt warning.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

I had never had a "good" relationship with my sil untill her mother moved in with my wife and I. Afterwhich, she accepted me and started talking to me. She is 4 years my elder. After "mom" moved in , sil started spending more time at our place. After a while, she started moving about the house in her night shirt or gown. I was in my own house so I started walking around in my shorts. It was like it became a game with us. I was never really sure what game piece I was. My wife saw what was happening but said or did nothing about it. One night I was taking a shower and my wife came in to talk to me. I stepped out of the shower and was dring off. She was sitting on the turlit. I stood in front of her and my tool began to grow. She commented about how hot it was and asked me to open the door. Just as I opened it, sil walked by and looked in and saw me naked and her sister sitting in front of my extension. She made a noise and kept walking. I stepped out in the hall and asked her where she was running off to. She turned and looked again and slipped into the living room. Her sister laughed. November of last year, I showered and then sil showered. My wife was lying on her bed and I walked in in my boxers and stood at the foot of the bed. Her sister came out of the master bath in her night shirt and laid across the bed in front of me. She raised her arms up over her head which in turn pulled her gown up to with in two inches of her "Tinkler". I looked down at two round breast with nipples and could see through the material that partially covered her pubic hair. I glanced at my wife and she looked at me. We both looked at sil and soon my wife watch me have a phisical reation that protruded from my shorts. Sil had her eyes closed. We all made small talk as my mouth went dry. My wife did not get upset or say anything about what was happening. I stood there scared and excited and frustrated. After fifteen minutes I stepped out in to the backyard and released alot of tension. My wife has not talked about the incident. Mom died and sil does not come around as much. It would have been a mistake had I tried to touch her or do anything more. It felt good just to write the incident down. Thanks, Sid

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2007):

I've been married to my wife for 8+ years now and have been infatuated with her older sister for about 2 years. They look alot alike but for years my SIL used to be on the chubby side. About 2 years ago, she lost a ton of weight and now is a little hottie. I love my wife and she looks good too, but I can't help but imagine what it would be like with her sister.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007):

I have lusted for my wifes younger sister for years, and just recently, her middle sister as well. The good thing to this is my wife knows it and takes advantage of it. I mean, she will tell me to think of her sister's when we are in bed, I sometimes can't help myself, and will. In fact, the days that I see her sister's is some of the best sex we ever had. And though I would love to act on my feelings, I don't have the heart.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):

I have the same problem.

I fantasize about my sister-in-law all the time. It is not my wife's sister, its her brother's wife. Ever since I met Becky I've had a hard on for her.

She is totally opposite of my wife. She's brunette, very slender (as opposed to curvacious which I normally go for). I love my wife and know what you are going through. There is love and then there is lust. I love my wife but I still lust after Becky all the time. (Sometimes several times a day!!!).

And like the other responder wrote, her calling while I'm into it only heightens my joy knowing she is on the line while I'm thinking about her in a sexualy way.

Some people say its not possible to love someone and lust after another. I know I could not live without my wife but I still have strong sexual feelings for Becky.

I guess it will always be just a fantasy. I can't see ever acting on it - or that she would go for it. She's very prudish (restrained sexually) - which I think is an even bigger turn on.

Just wanted to let you know you weren't alone.And like they say - the reality is never as good as the fantasy. So keep it a fantasy and nothing more.

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A male reader, Zygote Australia +, writes (2 February 2007):

I have a similiar issue (not a problem as I do not consider it to be one).

Been married for 11 years and Im 33, my wife is 34 and my SIL is 35. My wife was pissed off at me for about 5 years and subsequently when she went overseas for a holiday I wasnt invited. During the 5 months she was away my sister in law came over to our house (MIL lives with us too) to do the gardens for my MIL. I helped out with the heavy gardening jobs and we became just friends.

But since then we have become quite close, I complimented her once when she was dressed up to go out and she blushed a lot and was very pleased and I have continued to compliment her since then (5 years or more now). I do the touching under the passed paper and she lets me hold her hand like that for quite a while and also when we are not alone she acts normally but when alone she is very playful and theres a lot of eye contact and body langauge that I notice but cannot explain exactly.

As for advice I agree with the guys who have said 'Never Tell the Wife' and 'Never make the first move' and somewhat with the 'Keep it a fantasy' comments.

However, I think there is absolutely zero harm if you can manage to have your sister in law and your wife too, as LONG AS THERE IS NO POSSIBILITY OF BEING CAUGHT.

If there is even the slightest, smallest, glimmer of a doubt that you can pull it off without being caught then just continue to Pull It Off and no more.

As for the guy that was collecting his SIL pubic hairs, videotaping her and stealing his mother in laws panties.. you made me laugh so hard my wife came in and I almost got busted reading this.. good stuff... I hope it isnt true hehe

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A male reader, benjamin +, writes (29 January 2007):

benjamin is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello everyone.

Many thanks for the assortment of answers - some of which I can't begin to rationalize, some idealistic and some quite amusing.

Regardless I found my own way of dealing with things and I have been pleasantly surprised. And believe you me, communication and a good sense of humor among all parties concerned can iron out any problems and yield surprising results.

One thing I do have to note is this: nowhere in my question did I say I was "in love" with my SIL - and I think this is the second time I have posted that I am not in love with her.

Well thanks for feedback.

Thank you kindly

BT

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

i can emphathise with Benjamin. I am in a similar situation. I am 44, my wife is 38 and my sister-in-law is 47.

i have been in love with my sister-in-law since 3 years. i think of her every single day; at work my screen saver has her smiling face. i dream of her and i masturbate thinking of her; oftentimes, i think of her while having sex with my wife.

she is married to a man 8 years older and seems happy with him. however she does go out of her way to be nice to me...cooks up my fave food, talks about my career concerns; things which her sister(my wife never cares to do).

the advice i would give Benjamin is to bide for time and if the relationship has a basis, things have their own way of working out.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2007):

I have the same "problem"! I have been married for ten years and have fantasized about my wife's sister for years.

I wouldn't say that it's totally unhealthy. I believe it's normal to fantasize about that which you cannot ever have. I think that I see qualities in my SIL that are "sililar" to my wife, yet different, which makes her very beautiful to me. Sometimes I think I'm in love with her, but I shake it off & try to move on!

As for the comments that if you fantasize about anyone other than your wife, you should divorce??! They are obviously not married or VERY naive! It's okay to THINK about it. My advice would be to first of all...keep it to yourself--nothing good could really come from telling anyone. Do what I do...take her picture into the bathroom, relieve yourself and forget about it!

Good luck!

Steve

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007):

Since you're asking for opinions here, I'll tell you what I think. It would be absolutely amusing if you came onto your SIL and she outed you. It would serve you right. The whole family and friends would know what you were thinking and attempted to do.

Why did you marry your wife if you lusted for her sister in the first place? I feel sorry for your wife. Sounds like the 10 years she's spent devoted and invested in a relationship with you, lusting for her sister, is going to be a possibly be a lifetime regret and a decade of her life she'll never get back. A decade which she could have spent investing in someone that did the same and viewed her the way you do your SIL.

What you should do is divorce your wife and if the sister should want you then, pursue it. If she does, more power to you. If she doesn't, at least it was a clean break and you won't be as bad a person as you could be.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007):

I too have a obsession with my SIL & i don't know what to do.

I met her when i started dating her sister 10 years ago before we eventually got wed. She's married to someone who takes her for granted, never helps out around the house & i've always had a 'soft' spot for her & looked out for her.

We've always been quite close but recently we are getting closer & i can't stop thinking about her.

We walk our dogs together so we talk about all sorts of things..but she's started to show what i think is more affection....like she might stroke/touch my arm when we are talking about something because we mention something amusing, she also confides in me (says i'm a great listener) & something happened during christmas when everyone was round at our house so it was tight for space, when we passed each other we touched hands but we both reached out as we passed so we were touching hands/fingers for longer as we passed....

Is it just me or does she have the same feelings as me from all/any of these actions mentioned? I look in her eyes & i'm wondering if she feels the same..i really want to kiss her but what if i'm wrong & it's just all in my head? It's driving me nuts? I can't stop thinking about her! Anybody what should i do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007):

Response to prior post:

“Bitter and twisted comments have no value, especially when they come from anonymous people –“

The irony and enormous humor of your comment was made embarrassingly evident Mr. “A male reader, anonymous”

It appears as though part of your statement was in response to a wife’s perspective in that situation. Given that you do not know the full details of what transpired, you could not possibly form an educated opinion based on the information provided by her experience. There was no mention of children from the adulterous relationship and if she viewed adultery as such a scornful character flaw within her mate; it stands to reason that it was not within her character. That’s just logic.

Your statement also seems to lash out at a woman who holds her mate accountable for his actions. As a man who would covet his SIL, I could see how you would not be big on accountability. Regardless of your preferences, it is extremely important for men to be given all the information regarding the potential consequences of their decision and not just a one sided view from a guy who believes “A relationship with your SIL can be amicable and fruitfull”.

I would not presume you to be religious or that you would prize spiritual accountability, but since it was you who mentioned “angels” and the “devil” you should know (biblically speaking) it is written, “You shall not commit adultery”(Matthew 19:18 “Ten Commandments”). Adultery is also a biblically citable ground for divorce (Matthew 19:9). You might also find it interesting the bible specifically notes not to take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her (Leviticus 18:18).

I could never understand why you would encourage men to cheat on their wives with their sisters. Let alone; expect to not be held accountable. The only potential explanation would be “For your hardness of heart”(Mark 10:5) and perhaps you do not want to be alone in your vile thoughts and possible acts. Maybe you feel the more that do it, the more acceptable and less wrong it becomes. Well, in today’s society, you are not alone, but that does not make it any less despicable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007):

A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

"If you would rather be intimate with anyone other than your wife, then you should divorce and move on. Perhaps the reason she hasn’t been intimate with you is because she’d rather with anyone else and would welcome a divorce."

Wow - doesn't that smack of a women scorned!! Typical - she's obviously in a well balanced relationship - NOT!

No consideration for the kids, or efforts to reconcile, or plans to make amends - NO, JUST DIVORCE HIM - women are angels, and all men are the devil??

Bitter and twisted comments have no value, especially when they come from anonymous people - (doubtless a guilty response from her own affairs!!)

A relationship with your SIL can be amicable and fruitfull despite the comments made by some bitter and twisted maidens.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007):

If you would rather be intimate with anyone other than your wife, then you should divorce and move on. Perhaps the reason she hasn’t been intimate with you is because she’d rather with anyone else and would welcome a divorce.

I feel pity for all those unfortunate wives that are unwittingly stuck with the likes of guys that measure themselves by their number of female conquests and use some conjured “innate male urges” as an excuse for their vile conduct. These are the very guys who pride themselves on their abilities to deceive and manipulate. Those are not traits of a “Man”, but rather is evidence of that individuals primitive character or the lack thereof.

It seems as though it’s been forgotten that the measure of a Man is of the strength of his character. A REAL Man has dignity, honor and integrity. He earns the respect of all those around him, women and men alike. He’s the type of man you can put your trust and faith in and know he’ll do what is right. He’s the greatest example to others, defending those whom can’t defend themselves. The type of man you hope to gain his love, feel privileged to know and who you wish your sons to be like. He puts the needs of others above his own and he never waivers. Anything less is not a Man.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007):

Want a "wife" perspective? Here it is: I was once involved in a relationship with someone that professed to loving me. Ironically, I met him through my sister. He persistantly pursued me until I had given in and given it up. He never knew it but he was my first. Our relationship was not an unhappy one. Many years later, I found out that at some point during our relationship he and my younger sister had committed the ultimate betrayal. It supposively took place during a short separation we experienced.

IT WAS DEVASTATING!!! IT WENT SO FAR BEYOND HURT! It's like being turned into the living dead. The pain was enormous. Not just the unclean immoral implication of it, but to know what they did and the disgusting wake it left forever in my mind and in our lives.

THE CONFRONTATIONS were short and sweet given my civility. First, I confronted him to get confirmation and an explanation. I got confirmation alright, but only excuses. He actually tried to convince me that it was a mistake and that he didn't love her. He was lonely for me and used her. That he loved me, wanted to be with me and was SO sorry. As if a sane person could except such excuses and be willing to forget. He actually tried to fight to be together.

Then, I confronted her. Her betrayal was the most painful. My sister. My flesh and blood. The one I had been there and fought the fires of Hell for. She was the closest to me of all my siblings. How could she have done such a cruel inhumane act? She choose a piece of mediocre flesh (which was an understatement) over a lifetime of friendship, alliance and love.

I disowned my sister. She was dead to me the moment I found out. We haven't spoken in over a decade and never will. It has separated our family completely. There are no more family gatherings and everyone is quick to not talk of the other. The family will never be the same.

As for "him", he too was dead to me the moment I heard. Sure he tried to get back with me, but eventually gave up and went away. My sister no longer had anything to do with him, because she probably realized the family looking down on her and the loss of her only support wasn't worth it. He just disappeared into nothingness and who knows or cares what's become of him. He's probably off ruining more lives for the sake of his selfish sinister sexual gratifications.

In the end, it wasn't worth it to him, to her and it left a mark on us all. Would it be worth it to you? If you believe so, just make sure not to kid yourself about the devastation your going to cause and what reason's you plan to justify it. If you want to fuck another woman, especially one as close as a woman's sister, don't lie to yourself and your wife by saying that you love her. The truth is, you love yourself and your lust far more than anyone or anything. Don't be a coward. Do your wife a favor and leave her before you go unleashing the beast within.

I have since been married to a man I love, respect and admire. We have beautiful babies together and I have no doubt he truly LOVES ME. It's sad to think of all the lives that have been effected, aside from our immediate families being torn apart, we will never know our neices/nephews and they will never know their cousins. Ultimately the people who pay aren't the people who got to play. You have decide if you want your loved ones to pay for your indiscretion.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006):

Having fantasies about sex with other partners is not wrong or sick. However having fantasies about real live people that you and your wife both know is! It can only destroy your relationship in the long term! How would you feel about her fantasising about your brother? Not great I bet!

If you really love your wife and are committed to the relationship the only way to “heal” yourself is to start giving more and more affection, non sexual, to your wife on a daily basis. Start doing more activities with her, yoga, golf or whatever might interest you both. She will respond in a way that might surprise you. Maybe introduce some role plays or sex toys into your bedroom and create some other fantasies with your wife.

Every time you think about your SIL; go for a run, watch TV or go out and talk to a friend. It’s all in the mind, sometimes we think it’s stronger than we are but if you really take yourself into hand, not that way, you might surprise yourself too. Good luck, hope it helps.

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A male reader, Always Horny +, writes (9 December 2006):

I am also having a crush on my SIL since last 4 years. She is now 23 and is 10 years younger then me. I have seen her naked many times. She is more well build then her sister. Got huge 36-C boobs and a pretty big 36" ass with frim curves. I know I cant ever have her as she has too much of attitude and wont ever agree or submit to it. Secondly I love my wife more then anything and dont want to hurt her feelings. But i do fantasize her daily and masturbate on her pics. I am helpless in keeping her off my mind. I enjoy being with her and watching her closely.

So I guess its common fot men to think like that. My advise is not to feel quilty on this as its a natural instinct we men have got somewhere deep in our brains, "to grab all the women we can get hold of" and if not maintain a harem than atleast dream and fantasize.

There is a basic rule, "you cant stop your brain from thinking or imagining" so why curse yourself.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):

When I was casually dating my wife I also became friends with my SIL. My SIL is 2.5 years younger than my wife and a bit of a handful. We used to hang out together alot and I'd never thought of her in any other way. One night we got rather drunk and had sex. Because things were starting to come together with my wife we decided that it was just a drunken mistake and laughed it off. Several weeks later it happened again. We didn't even speak about it the second time. Years went by, I got married had kids all the time admiring her beautiful looks, often fantasizing about her. One night at a party we ended up talking alone. We were both drunk and she start crying literally on my shoulder, admiting that she wished that she had married me, not her sister. I admitted that I had always wanted to be with her, but that the way she acted around me and to me that I always thought she only wanted to be friends. Things got steamy and there was alot of feeling and rubbing through our clothes and passionate kissing. Who knows where it would have led if we had'nt got interrupted by some random party guest who had no idea of the trouble we were getting ourselves into. After that night our friendship was strained, we barley talk to each other anymore, not like the good friends we had been for years previous to that. We still have a lof of nights out drinking with her husband and my wife. Often her and I will end up staying up together having long drunken conversations until the sun comes up, generally sharing a passinate kiss and cuddle before we finally whisper "I love you" to each other before we go to bed. It's a strange thing, somthing that we both want, but neither of us will go there. It scares me to think how easily it could and one day might happen again and the trouble it will no doubt cause. The family is very close, avoidence is impossible. We don't even plan to be alone, but both her husband and my wife often go to bed early and we have always been the type who like to stay up, besides, by the time it gets to that part of the night, we are normally drunk anyway, most of our good judgment is gone. Luckily, it would appear that for the most part, we have been able to control ourselves and keep things at a managable level. Who knows where we will end up...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006):

I too fancy my sister in law.

I love my wife to bits but cant stop thinking about her. We are closeish and spend a lot of time together but my wife is nearly always there, we are so comfortable around each other. I even get jealous of her boyfriends and I never think anyone is good enough for her. It's crazy. I very much doubt she feels the same or even knows what I think of her.

If I thought it could be kept secret I would tell her. problem is, if she reciprecated it would be awkward. If anything came of it the family would disown the both of us,

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006):

I have been lusting over my sister in law for about 7 years now, she is only a year and a half younger than my wife. In high school they were both good looking girls but in the last five years, my sis in law has gotten so much hotter while my wife has actually put on alot of wieght.

I cant get over how hot my sister in law is and I think about how great sex with her would be. It is safe to say I masterbate to pics of her just about day. At get togethers I usually try and snap pics of her that highlight her best features so I can get off to them later. She is married now as well and we house sit for her if she is out of town. On more than one occasion, I have gone over when no one was home and jerked off with her used panties, her shoes, I once shot my load all over a pair of knee high leather boots shes looks so hot in. I know all of this is wrong but I cant help it, I am so sexually obsessed with this woman.

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A male reader, chase my ass +, writes (14 November 2006):

I think about having sex with my sister in law frequently. In fact, I have video taped her as she showered in my basement, and I have a collection of her used underwear and pubic hairs. I also have several pairs of my mother in law's used panties, and sniff them & masterbate frequently to both of them. I have altered nude pictures of both of them on my computer.

I believe that it is thrilling fantasizing about women I cannot have.

I will never have sex with either of them, so what is the harm?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006):

I cant stop thinking about my wifes sister either. I think ofher all the time and I even sent her texts. but I love my wife. she is so special and I love her more than anyhting in the world. I know her siste will never happen and that makes it even more attractive, but god!! she is a fine thing!!, but hey, I lover my wife and kids, so she is a big fantasy. and I so fanatsize about her all the timeQ

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006):

i thing you should go with your feelings of having sex with your sister-in-law i have and it was the best sex ever just flert with you sis-in-law and see if see goes along with it and slowly make advances if she does. it is very hard to ignore you thought and feelings. Im in love with my sister-in-law

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006):

You should not act on your feelings with your sister in law. I completely understand what you are saying regarding your feelings and I applaud the fact you have not gone outside your marriage. In terms of your relationship with your wife you two need to see a professional to discuss what you are feeling, and really, what she is feeling. Finding a little relief here and there does not solve the issue and frankly it will lead to resentment towards your wife and even yourself at who you have become. The answer does not involve your sister in law and your feelings for her really need to be put aside. I know you are not able to stop feeling but you can stop yourself from acting on these feelings. I cannot foresee good things happening for you if you do broach the subject with your sister in law regardless of how she feels. I would make an effort to stop thinking about her while masturbating etc. as it is only compounds this issue; in fact try to refocus on your wife’s perfect image in lieu of other things. I can only see difficulties for you and your sister and law, and for your families should you slip. This is only compounded by the fact that you are now a father. Your life no longer revolves around your feelings and desires but instead should be focused on your children’s well being and happiness. It would be a shame to throw away your marriage and possibly even seeing your children because of this. Again, I know you are a good man and I respect your situation. No one ever claimed marriage is an easy road and surely no one warned me about the change in sexual desire as we go along. However, you are responsible for what happens and I would think you do not want to mess this up as you have asked for help. I hope that you think long and hard about what this means and get assistance with your wife so that it can return back to one you are all happy with. I hope that things become easier for you as time passes. THink about this: what would you say to your son or daughter in twenty years if they were to come to you in a similar situation? What would you want them to do?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006):

I thought that I was alone carrying this burden.

I met my sister in law months after dating her sister. She was only 14 by the time. I am 12 years older than her. Both sisters were beautiful blondes. Then I got her sister pregnant and married her. We didn´t last a year together. My ex-wife went back to her parents and we developed a wonderful relationship. We both started dating other people and 5 years went by. But in the mean time I visited my ex-wife´s to see my daughter and couldn´t help my self developing a really good friendship with my sister in law. And of course I fell in love with her. She knew and she just kept on teasing me all this time. And I loved it. After some time my ex-wife could tell something was going on so at one point she even threatened her.

For five years I was living hating my self knowing that I married the wrong sister. I have tried to meet other beautiful women, actresses, even models, but nothing comes close to my sister in law. Right now she is 20 and we are very very close friends. We fool around a lot. I just don’t understand why society it´s so against us. I love her and she loves me. We are just too afraid of consequences. So nothing has ever happened between us. We go to clubs together, to the movies, we dance all night. I have even had sex with some of her friends. That was painful. But I have never kissed her or tried anything. I will wait for her to make the move. It’s going to be long and painful but I can wait for it an entire life. She is all that. Few people that I trust know my feelings for her. And her girlfriends obviously know. When you are in love with someone people can easily tell. Of course my friends don´t understand a thing when I can date beautiful woman any time I want.

Right now I don’t care about my ex-wife’s feelings anymore, although I do care about her father, because he is a really good hunter.

I love her. I know no matter what happens she will be the love of my life. I have found a porn star (Lanny Barbie) which resembles her and has really help ease some issues.

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A male reader, motornut +, writes (27 October 2006):

I too have a thing about my sister in law. She is my wifes sister, and i have had a thing about her since she was 18 or 19. She is incredibly sexy, but i never thought it could go anywhere.

I longed to see her naked, this being the best i could realistically hope for. Then one day she stayed at ours as we were going to their cousins wedding the next day.In the morning she had a bath while my wife went into town to get a few things. I was downstairs and i heard her call for a towel so i took it upstairs. as i reached the foot of the stairs i looked up and my SIL was standing starkers at the top of the stairs. She did not seem embarrassed at all, indeed she knew i would be coming up so it must have been intentional. I took the towels up and turned away but she asked me to scrub her back. even as i did this she made no attempt to cover up and my erection must have been obvious through my trousers. She then asked me to scrub her front also, so i did. She appeared to be completely normal, but yet she was naked in front of her sisters husband. As i got down to her stomach, she parted her legs a little and gave a good view of her goods. I declined to wash that area but she did it hrself, putting on quite a show. I would not tell her how i felt, though i think she knew. then she said to me that as i had seen her naked, she would like to see me naked. I got undressed and got into the bath with her. she proceeded to wash me, and was not shy about washing my manhood. I then got out as my wife would be home soon.

Since then i have seen her naked loads of times and she still turns me on just as much. But i have never had the guts to ask for sex. She has never asked me for sex although i think she would be up for it. It is driving me crazy knowing what i want to do to herbut cannot ask for.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006):

My wife had a severe stroke many years ago and is unable to perform in the bedroom. I love her dearly and I will always take care of her. Her sister had a bad break up from an abusive relationship and came by often to just talk. One thing lead to another and we ended up in bed. I must admit that it was great, although after many years without, anything would be great. We agreed that it can not continue and we chalked it up to an experience we have both wanted for nearly 30 years but never acted on it. I feel guilty at times, but her sister is now able to confide in me about anything and says it makes her feel so good to just talk to someone. We have now become closer friends and while we may never end up in the bedroom again, she said that after her last man, I showed her that there is a man out there that would treat her right. She just hasn't met him yet. My obsession turned to reality, and now it is just a memory. Luckily, we agreed that it was out of our system and we should move on with our lives.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006):

I thought I was the only person in this situation and after reading this I ok about it. I find myself fantasizing about my SIL, she is smart, funny and pretty. I wouldn't ever think about leaving my wife however I can't help but to fantasize about her and I having secret moments together. I have never cheated and I doubt my SIL has and the stats are that someone in a relationship will. I then think "perfect, no one would suspect it and we could keep it a secret" I can't really say I would have sex with her but I would like to at least just be close secret friends so that we could fantasize together, so that I could tell her when I think she looks hot, that I thought about her when I woke up or when taking a shower. There are times I think she has to know but I don't know if she does. I hope she finds this someday and realizes I am hot for her. I wouldn't say anything if she didn't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006):

I have to admit that I fantasize about my brother in law and have made advances at him but I think he's too cautious and thinks I am "framing" him. Like your situation, I am older then him and the thought of being with a younger man is thrilling. I would in a heartbeat if I knew he would keep it a secret.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006):

Physically, she's like the woman you felt attraction for but younger, so this is expected to happen. You have to think if your relationship with your wife is based on more than looks and if so, focus on those qualities.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2006):

Brother, sex thoughts about your sister-in law, or any other woman of legal age are natural and part of a man that cannot be removed by the evolvement of sociaty. It is natural, just like ant other natural sex thought you have based on the programming in your brain to procreat as you are instenctively to do. As a man, if left to your instenctive desires, which come to you by the nature of being a man, you will have sex with any female who will allow you to within the confines or the moral world you live in. You should feel no guilt as any feelings you have are within those natural drives and your actions are controlled by the programming of your upbringing. Good luck...PS I think of sex with my wife's sisters often.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006):

i like that my wife to enjoy sex with me along with another man who she admires. She is reluctant for it but it would be great fun we both men caressing her body and putting our pennis into her deep down. She will cry out of enjoyment. The other guy is more hefty and strong she likes hefty strong and fair and hairy body. He will hold her tightly and caress her body kiss her all over her body. she will enjoy those caressing by another man. mean while i put my pennis inside her give strokes , take out mine and put his thick pennis into the chut of my wife she will out in enjoyment.let both of us ejaculate one by one into her chut. making her orgasm 4 times

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2006):

I know for a fact that my husband is infatuated with my little sister. She is 17 and he is 25. It hurts me very much to know this. I believe that the reason he is interested in her is because she represents freedom. My husband and I have a toddler and an infant and life is crazy for us right now. He misses being "young". But that does not change the fact that it breaks my heart. He even suggested a threesome. ouch.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006):

I'm hot for my sister in law too... who cares? Like many of you, sex with my wife isn't the hottest after a few years of marriage and having a kid, but we still have it. My sister in law is in her early 20's and I'm in my mid 30's. I fantasize about her a lot when doing my own thing, and don't feel the least bit bad about it. I also fantasize about co-workers, neighbors, and the girl at the supermarket. Sometimes when having sex with my wife with the lights turned off, I imagine I'm with one of them... including my sister in law! Am I going to tell either one of them about it? Not likely. I'm pretty sure my sister in law isn't thinking about that, and the only result putting it out in the open would have is some seriously strained relationships with my wife, my sister in law, their parents, maybe their friends, and maybe my son at some point. Totally not worth it. Recognize it for what it is (A FANTASY), make it the hottest fantasy you can when having sex with your wife (or yourself for that matter), and enjoy it for all it's worth. The grass is often greener on the other side of the fence. If you've got problems with your wife, it's not because of your sister in law or how hot or supportive she is. Do some homework and figure it out, and if you're still that tortured get a divorce and find someone who doesn't have a hot sister! LOL

ps... would I have sex with my sister in law? Probably... but only if she made all the advances, and clearly articulated that is what she wanted; we agreed on how much/ofter (this time only... once every 6 months, etc.); and only if she wasn't flaky enough to blow the whistle because of her own guilty hang ups. That's a pretty difficult list of requirements to fulfill, so I'm not getting my hopes up. Neither should you.

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A male reader, ask +, writes (3 September 2006):

hai,

even I am in the same position with my wife's elder sister

I am having a lot of fantasy about her.do give me suggestion to find out if she is also intrested

ask

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A male reader, danno75420 +, writes (26 August 2006):

lol i doubt a psychiatrist would really help :/

yeah it sucks. i know it's crazy, and wrong, and messed up. But almost everyone that posted on here with the problem knows that doesn't make it any easier...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2006):

I am in love with my SIL, Kayla. She is so much better than my wife. Looks, personality, everything. I think probably I am focusing on the wrong problem though. I think I need to divorce my wife because she is such a bitch all the time.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006):

Talk about it with your wife? That's nuckin' futs! The best thing you can do is go see a phyciatrist, because your way past forums, dude. And don't tell your wife!

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A male reader, danno75420 +, writes (24 August 2006):

This is a letter that I wrote, but i never sent to her. I probably never will, but it just shows how screwed up I really am...lol

___________________________________________________________

I don't know where to begin. I don't know how to say this without freaking you out or turning you away from me completly. I wish there was a way I could get rid of my feelings and just dismiss them as normal emotions that should be left alone, but i don't know if I can anymore.

The more time goes by, and the more i'm around you, the more I want you. Not just in a sexual way. Yes, i'm attracted to you for many reasons, but the truth is it goes beyond that. I wish I could be the one that mkes you happy, even for a little while. But I don't know what to do, what to say. Aside from the in-law factor, i don't even know if you ever COULD see me like that. I don't know if the attratction is one sided, and I've never had the courage to ask until now.

Part of me wishes you would tell me it was just me. And as much as it would suck to hear it, maybe it would make me want you less? I don't know. I know I could never actually be with you on any normal level, and it sucks. I know that even just kissing you would send me into a downward spiral that i could never recover from. You live in my fantasies and you occupy most of my thoughts, from the moment I wake up till i go to sleep, you're in my head. You're the one I wish I could hold, and make love to, and be with at the end of the day. But insted i'm stuck in asituation that I just want to get out of. I see you everyday, and lust over you, but I can't do anything about it. Part of me just wants to leave all together. So I wouldn't be around ANYONE. But the truth is i don't want to NOT be around you. I hate that I can't be with you. I'm jealous. I wish i was him (your FB). I wish I could be the one you want more than anything. I wish i could tell you this and you'd fall into my arms and we could just be with eachother. But i know that's not how it's going to play out. I know if anything this letter would freak you out and make you uncomfortable, at the very leas,t and that kills me. I wish i could just wipe that thought from my head. Find another unhealthy situation to occupy my mind, but this has been at the forefront of my thoughts for a while now.

Again, part of me hopes you tell me that REGARDLESS of the in-law factor, you would never go for me in a million years. I'm just not your type and if we were both single and alone on a desert Island, you STILL wouldn't think of me that way. WHile the other part hopes you say you do feel something for me, and if the circumstances WERE different you would want to be with me, even if it was for a night (which would never satisfy me anyway).

Of course the UNREALISTIC side of me wishes you feel the same way. That you would drop everything just to try to sneak off with me whenever you could, but that would only make things SO MUCH worse, and I know it. I know i could never be the one you want.

I know that if I send this, i could potentialy lose your trust, and seriously jeapordize our freindship, and that worries me more than anything. If i didn't care, i'd say whatever and try whatever without fear of the consequences. You could turn around and tell my wife i'm a pig bastard who tried making a move on you. You could just grow to hate and distrust me and forever place a barrier between us. I realize all these things. I don't know what to expect. In fact I don't want to expect anything, because I'm sure it will lead to dissapointment. But the truth is i've fallen for you. Probably worse than I ever have, for anyone, in the most screwed up situation i've ever known. But if you're reading this, then I have just come to the point where I can't hide this anymore. I don't want to. To hell with the consequences, to hell with everything. I just want you, and you need to know that.

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A male reader, danno75420 +, writes (23 August 2006):

Yup...same situation as most of you. I have been married for not more than six months, and sex with the wife is dismal at best. It's boring, uninspired and feels like she's performing a chore. We have had discussions and have even started counceling, but honsetly, i don't know if that's something a person can change. I want to try and wait it out, see if things improve, but i feel like she just isn't interested ever. In the meanwhile, my SIL is in the exact same situation as myself. A while back, i had found out she had an affair with an aquaintence of mine. After she found out i had known, and kept it to myself, we began having VERY open discussions about our respective situations. As time went on, I felt like i had an incredible connection to this beautiful woman who understood me, and had the same sexual needs and desires that were not being met by her spouse. Now she's having an affair with another friend of mine, which I am partialy responsible for...but I'm jealous. I wish I could just be with her. Just rewind back to before I met either her or my wife...knowing what I know now. We rely on eachother to maintain secrecy and be each other's emotional support. But more and more, i wish we could just do a spouse swap. I just wind up with her, and her husband can take my wife...please :/

We've both joked around with eachother, and we both have paid eachother compliments of a flirtatious nature, but I know it would only further complicate both of our lives. The truth is though, i care about her tremendously, AND i find her more and more irresitable as the days go on. I don't know if it's beacause we're both in similar situations, or because we have become so close, or because she's amazingly gorgeous, and sexual. But the fact is, she's always on my mind. Morning, day, or night, I wish it was her I was with instead of my wife. I have considered bring up the idea of being f*&% buddies, but I know she wouldn't do that with me. My friend is one thing, but her sister's husband :/...

I've told her i am attracted to her in the past. I make comments on occaision just to see what her reaction will be. It's usualy playfull and flirtatious, but i SERIOUSLY doubt anything could ever come of it, and it sucks.

Could I be happy with a strictly sexual relationship with the SIL? Probably not, and that's what the worst part is. I've already fallen for her...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006):

I think this situation is very common, my SIL is highly sexed and does'nt mind who knows it. She's had numerous affairs whlist being married, flirts constantly with every man she see's and has even paraded nude in front of me she knows exactly what she's doing, always telling me "if only we wer'nt related.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2006):

Actully I feel love to my SIL. we seeing toghetr more time and sending SMS toghter . But we never say this toghetr.

I am married and have a son but I love SIL too. I don't expect sex relation with her because this will destroy my family and it is very danger.

I am happy to feel love with her and when she seeing me I become more happy and hot. My heart feel her before her SMS come to my mobile phone.

I like to kiss her once , aslo she touch my hand some time, this is enough for me.

The hidden love and abnormal love become happy me.

send your suggestion to me :

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006):

I am starting down a similar path, I have been feeling bad for my SIL (she is in a terrible relationship) for so long that I think that I have fallen in love with her. I still love my wife but physically she is very cold toward me. I am just as frustrated as everyone else in this column. I think someone stated it best when they said that "I just wish I would have met her first." communicatrix has some great advice. I think I will try that to solve my feelings that I am having for my SIL, I want to love her but like a sister, I think that given both of our current relationships that is all that is appropriate for me to share with her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006):

I am in a similar situation. My sister died in 99 leaving behind 6 children and her husband. We became estranged and until March this year had no contact. Since we made up I am incredibly sexually attracted to my BIL, he is a lot older 49 (I am 33) but I find myself thinking about him all the time and I can't stop. I know nobody would approve of any type of relationship even though we are both single adults, I don't know what to do. I am worried that I am obvious when I am near him etc

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006):

I have this problem but from the opposite side of the spectrum. I am very attracted to my husband's brother. I think he is also attracted to me. He calls me beautiful and smart, when we are we sit really close together, that are bodies are touching and he touches my hand a little longer than he should when passing me something. We have a lot in common, and we stay up at times literally all night long just talking to each other over drinks. Emotionally I feel more connected to him than my husband. He hasn't said to my face that he wants to pursue anything with me. I don't know if I would even act on it. He has a girlfriend and I am friends with her but she says he is always comparing her to me and she feels like he thinks I am better than her.

I don't want to act on it but I find myself so tempted. When I know he is coming over or I am going over there I always make sure I am dressed to the nines, and have my hair and makeup done. This is killing me! I don't want to hurt my husband or my family! I just wish I met him first.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006):

I went through many years of fantasising about my SIL, whom I met around the same time as I started going out with my wife. Whilst she was not as attractive as my wife, there was an obvious sexual chemistry between us that had to be repressed for many years (about ten, I think). In that time, she often stayed overnight with us and on many occasions actually shared our bed (although our relationship was never sexual at this time - we never even kissed passionately). Sadly, my wife developed a major illness (cancer), and SIL supported us throughout this time until my wife's death in 2002. I am ashamed to say that shortly after that time - a matter of weeks - our relationship became sexual, and continued that way for over two years afterwards. I could make excuses and say that we were mutually supporting one another, which I guess was true, and SIL was not involved with anyone at the time - we were both effectively unattached. The relationship was physically sublime, far far better than anything I had experienced previously. The feeling of relief in turning what had until then been merely a fantasy, into reality, is hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. We had a warm, sensual and loving relationship for a couple of years until the distance between us proved too much of a burden and we went our separate ways. We still keep in touch, as close friends, and have even enjoyed occasional liaisons, although to be truthful we are both involved with new partners. The anonymous female contributor was right in saying that SIL would be attracted to a relationship with her brother-in-law - she very much saw the relationship with me as being a connection to her late sister. People might moralise about this situation, but in reality nobody was hurt and it really was no-one's business but our own. The sad thing is having such feelings about your SIL and not being able to do anything about it - I am one of the lucky few that crossed the line and lived to tell the tale!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2006):

I met both my wife and my sister-in-law around the same time. My wife and I are the same age and my SIL 2 1/2 years younger. After I was married (quite young at 18) I began to wonder whether or not I had chosen the right sister. I was not that I don't love my wife, or that I loved my SIL in any way but a good friend. However, by this point my SIL was beginning to finish out into a beautiful, sexy young woman and my wife was getting "boring". My SIL was (and is) clever, witty and above all else a good friend.

In my inexperience I thought I must have loved her, though it was only ever lust. I began to fantasise about her. Not just in sexual situations but in everyday sort of activities. We would sit together on the couch at her mothers place and be content to tangle our feet together and just chat and in my head I would being wondering what it would be like to be able to do this every day.

At one stage, she even trusted me enough to allow her to come into her bedroom to talk before she went to sleep and read her a story. We were, for all intents and purposes, very close siblings.

Then, one day, I made the mistake of approaching her. Her trust in me fell away instantly and it has taken over four years to rebuild it to the point where we can sit together in the same room alone and talk without her having a freak out. She is now 21 and I 23.

Long of the short is, many people have fantasies about all sorts of people. That said, it almost always better to keep it to yourself. It's never worth destroying the relationship you have with someone. Hell, you've got a wife already. Be happy with that.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2006):

I lost my parents in my teenage years. And i had practicaly no one to hold on to. My brother has never been in the family as his family has always been his friends. And my sister studied abroad. My sister in law (brother's wife) was the only one around that consoled me and undertook the time to understand me. I fell in love iwth her months prior to her marriage. And when she finaly did get married, i was devastated. But i couldnt help myself being alone, i kept being close to her until one day we ended up having sexual relationship. It has been going on for more than 10 years. She now have 2 wonderful kids. We both know its not the sexual pleasure and i believe it is love. Just that we find it difficult if not odd for us to get married to each other knowing what her children will be calling me or what my future children will be calling her or my brother. We also had our parents and friends pressuring us not to get on with being together. So we ended up making love and seeing each other secretly. So after more than 10 years i now finaly decided to get married to someone else, so that i can continue moving on with my life. The question is will i be able to resist my sister in law. Resist not to have sex, but resist seeing her. I feel the need to talk to her as i know she is the only one that is perfect and that can able to undertsad me. Even now. I have been going through so many dates before and have given up. Thats why i decided to just finaly get married to whoever for if not i will never end up getting married. Its easy if my SIL is not apart of my family but she is my SIL, its not easy. I will see her in get togethers and she will always be there. It will break my heart everytime i see her. What do i do

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A male reader, benjamin +, writes (17 June 2006):

benjamin is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi all.

While I thank all of you for your answers, I must say that I never once said I was in love with my SIL: its just a fantasy/perhaps obsession I may have.

Some progress has been made to find my answers and I hope to share it with all of you soon when I have more time.

Thanks again and have a great weekend.

Ben

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2006):

I am so in love with my sister in law that I cannot function normally any longer. I barely sleep, and she is all I think of from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep. My wife and I had her living with us for a period of time and I got so close to her that she is all I think about. I do love my wife, but I love my sister in law more than I have ever loved any person ever. I am so torn inside about it because I could never tell the truth. My sister in law thinks of me as a brother only and has said that she finds the idea of having sex with her sisters husband repulsive. I havent come on to her in any way, this was just something she said before. Maybe she senses it in some way, I don't know. All I know is that I met my sister in law a few weeks after I met my wife and I loved her from the very moment I saw her. I could not act on that because I was dating her sister at the time, and she ended up getting pregnant so I did the right thing and married her. But I have always loved her sister deep down and just held it in.

As year after year goes on and on she is all I can think about. I cannot climax sexually unless I am thinking of her. It is an unhealthy obsession I know, but I cannot help it. I am tormented by the knowledge that the one I love with all my heart I could never have. Anyone have advice?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006):

I met my wife and her sister both at the same time. I was 26, my wife 15 at the time and her little sister 13. I don't want to hear about how I'm some sort of perv for what I'm about to say because I DON'T go after little girls. I never approached either of them until my wife turned 18. I was actually attracted to her little sister first however. They are both beautiful although her little sister is more so and her little sister and I just clicked. She has a terrific personality. She also had a crush on me and adored me. It is kind of hard to ignore feelings when a beautiful, sexually mature girl regardless of age flirts with you and hangs on you all the time. THAT being said, let me get on with it. I ended up choosing to marry my wife for various reasons. We have been together for 23 faithful years now with 3 wonderful children together. I also have 2 children and a step child by my sister in law. For the first three years of our marriage, other than mutually flirting with my sister in law, nothing occurred. When she turned 19, she married a jerk, getting pregnant and soon thereafter get a divorce. My wife asked if she could move in with us until she could get her life straight. My wife knows her sister and I have a crush on each other and has never been threatened by it. To make a long story short, after living with us for awhile, my wife ended up pressing the two of us together. We started off with a threesome, initiated by my wife. We still have threesomes but sometimes we just take turns. We have been a loving family ever since and I can't recommend it more. I know there can be problems with it, but there are problems in "normal" marriages too. I love both my "wives" very much and wouldn't change it for the world. If you can make it work, go for it, but not if all you want to do is get your rocks off. Whatever you do, DON'T be the one to bring up the topic to either woman. If they don't make the move, let it remain a fantasy. I think one reason it has made us have a strong bond, is that if a strangers get married and have problems, they can always get a divorce and go their separate ways. You can't divorce yourself from relatives...they're still family.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006):

im having the same fantasy.the only difference is my sister in law plays with the idea and rubs me with her breasts as though it were an accident!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2006):

I will have to tell you. I know where you are coming from. I too, for a very long while, over 10 years, have had an obsession with my SIL. STILL DO! My problem is, I told her over 10 years ago, and has shuned me since. She hardly speaks to me now, which makes it very hard. To make matters worse, along with the sexual deprivation from my wife, I told her in the heat of an argument. That my friend, has ruined all trust in our relationship. Now, all I hear when she has a bad day is about my obsession with her sister. Her rules now, I cant talk to her sister without her being there, no pictures taken at family get togethers, and what has been a very big lack of sex has turned to NO sex. As far as my experience, keep it to yourself and try your best to get over it. Especially if you dont know how your SIL will react anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006):

From the point of view of your sister-in-law, I think she will like to hear that she is indeed loved by her sister's husband. She will feel an added importance to her personality. If your desire is really intense, go ahead and propose a sexual relationship with SIL with no strings attached. It is beautiful to have sex with your SIL. She is so similar, yet so different, to your wife when you make her naked. As a woman I won't mind having sex with my brother-in-law.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2006):

Sex wth my sister in law is the best we have sex more often then with my wife. She has keep it quiet for 2 years now. She even got pregnet at one point. I paied for the abortion. And still then she has not said any thing. But its not a good idea to get into it. I love the sex but, we are In love with each other I don't know what to do about my wife. I'm in love with them both

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006):

I have the same problem. She looks like my wife, but with differences that I can't stop thinking about. I love my wife very much, and the only thing stopping me from acting on my STRONG impulses is the pain I would cause my wife were she ever to find out.

It's getting very difficult to control these urges. I have never cheated on my wife since we began dating 6 years ago, and to successfully initiate something with her younger sister would end disastrously, because who knows if she (SIL) can keep quiet about the whole thing? I think to myself that if I can just get it out of my system, I would be "cured", but that's not guaranteed.

UUUGGGH, this is very frustrating, and a little frightening as well, because I think that one day I might act on this impulse and possibly ruin my marraige, my strong and loving relationship with my in-laws, and my own family's opinion of me.

This is a VERY bad thing, and I hope that you can get through it well. I do feel for you though, in the lack of sex department. My wife and I decided a long time ago NOT to have kids, and we have sex about 1-2 a week. You definately need to bring back your sex life, and perhaps convince your wife that your fantasy is for YOU AND HER TO SHARE another woman TOGETHER. My wife and I had a threesome 2 years ago and it went a long way toward relieving those feelings for over 6 months.

Good luck to you.

~Anon.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (8 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntThis is neither creepy nor abnormal. I should suggest that you DON'T sit down and *talk it over with them* unless you fancy being marched straight down to the divorce courts!!

You only see the good sides of people you fantasise about, you dont see them shaving their legs in the bath, with a red snotty nose having the flu, or with bad hair or morning breath. This therefore, feed the fantasy. They are perfect and as such pretty good fantasy material.....

It is normal to have fantasies, some people chose Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, others the sister-in-law. Your problems will begin if you act on those fantasy feelings....SO DONT!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006):

I am very much in the same painful situation. My wife's older sister (who is actually my age) is an amazing woman. She is gorgeous and extremely intelligent. Like me, she is happily married with kids. There's not much you can do, my friend. You took an oath to your wife and you must be loyal. Trust me, I know how hard it is. I would love to be with my sister-in-law, but I'm sure the grass is always greener.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2006):

I am going through a relationship with my sister-in-law (wife's sister). Three years ago she started getting subtly close to me physically in the presence of my wife. I ignore the advances for a year or so. Then, my wife got pregnant, and we did not had sex for 18 months or so. During this time, I started responding to my sister-in-law's advances. She is 24, unmarried and without any boy-friend; while I am 35. Although we never had sex together, I have intimate physical relationship with my sister-in-law. I am started to get worried, as my wife has started noticing our close friendship; and even her father (my sister in law lives with her parents) has gone cold towards me. I would advice, not to take this route forward; its painful.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005):

I suspect that my brother-in-law has a crush on me. I catch him staring at me and he has come on to me. While I thought it was harmless flirtation at first I am starting to avoid him at family gatherings. Since we have always been friendly, I am wondering if this would send a mixed signal and if I need to confront him about this. I believe he loves his wife, my husband's sister, very much, so I do not know what explains this behavior and would be interested in knowing how to deal with it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2005):

I had a sexual obsession about my sister-in-law and I tried thinking about other things besides her. Everything was ok until I found myself alone with her and I ended up seducing her and we made love for 4 hours. We both enjoyed it and promised to stay away from each other and we did for about 3 mouths and then I seduced her again and we are now together about twice a week I must admit it is a very erotic pleasurable experience

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A male reader, dreamweaver +, writes (2 October 2005):

I have a similar problem. I have been married for 12 years...have a son. About 3 weeks ago I had a dream involving my sister-in-law. My wife is a physical beautiful woman but my sister-in-law is a knockout physically....although mentally she is somewhat flaky. Lately I haven't cared about the flaky part.

I have had fantasies about my sister in law before....I actually lived in their house for several months while being married and looking for a job. It suprises me now that I was able to curtail those desires and never really act on them.

The urges lately have been stronger than ever. I find I can't sleep well. I'm often thinking of ways to make any verbal contact, visual contact;not yet to the physical contact although when we transfer something with our hands I find myself trying to touch her hand more than would normally be required (I wonder if she detects this). The sister in law lives only miles away and works even closer than that.

I've been told that it's better to have a hundred affairs with strangers than one with your wife's sister....but the urges are very strong.

You are not alone.

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A reader, communicatrix +, writes (5 September 2005):

communicatrix agony auntFantasies are pretty normal, and if you can get over the creepy factor, it makes sense that a married man deeply in love with his wife would have fantasies about the woman who was most like his beloved.

Still, it sounds like you've crossed over the line from fantasy into obsession. Cyber or any sex with your sister-in-law is bound to end up disastrously; just bringing up the matter with your sister-in-law could bring the house down.

Perhaps what you're really doing with this obsessive fantasizing is trying to force the situation to a head. You have needs that aren't being addressed, and something like this coming out in the open puts you front and center in a hurry.

I do think you need to talk to your wife, but not about your fantasies, since they involve her sister and would only be hurtful to her. And not right away—remember, this lonely feeling has been brewing away with you for a long time but for your wife, it may be new (and even unwelcome) news.

It sounds like what's happened is that each of you have let a little blip in the way you usually live your lives (you mentioned that the sex was great before the baby) turn into a habit. A drop in sexual desire post-childbirth is pretty common, but it's as easy to let not having sex become the norm as it is to fantasize about sex constantly. So one of you has to break your habit first, and help the other to break theirs.

Since you're the one writing in, why don't you go first? I know it's hard to stop doing something, but it's possible to start replacing it with something else. So when you find your thoughts drifting to your sister-in-law, try shifting them onto something else: maybe think about your wife, and how great sex was before the baby; maybe about golf. Whatever breaks you of the habit. Do something physical, if need be (and no, I don't mean masturbating; I'm assuming you're doing plenty of that already).

Maybe when the urge rises you could, as another poster suggested, take some of the physical burden from your wife. Do the dishes, help around the house. Being exhausted 24/7 is a huge sexual buzzkill.

At some point, you will likely need to talk to your wife, but a few well-placed actions first will lay good groundwork for that. If by your actions you can show her that you see and understand and care about what she's going through—that it's not all about you and your needs—you stand a much better chance of her being responsive to you.

Good luck!

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A female reader, daniella +, writes (5 September 2005):

i think what you need to do is think over do you really want to be with your wife when you fanasiseing about another women let alone her sister.

What you need to think about is would you be happy with her sister. Maby you need to sit down and al have a chat and get things of your chest in to the open

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A female reader, Delila +, writes (5 September 2005):

It's really hard going without sex, a year is a long time. You will have to have a talk with your wife. Try to be loving in the way you bring up the subject of your needs don't mention your sister in law what ever you do. Your wife is probably feeling wreaked most of the time with little kids to look after so help her in the kitchen and with the laundry. Remember what you feed grows so stop feeding these fantisies of you sister in law, do not under any circumstances tell your sister in law how you feel. When thoughts or your sister in law come into your head replace them with images of your wife. Feed your marriage!! Washing the dishes is great foreplay!!!! Don't put any pressure on your wife, but do tell her you love her everyday, give her three hugs a day, and kiss her at least once a day, woo her again but do it with out expectation. "Mars And Venus In The Bedroom" by John Gray is a really good book and I would recommend that you both read it.

Good Luck.

Delila

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