A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I have been dating this guy for almost 3 months now, and I am not really happy. It's a long-distance relationship and every time he comes to see me, we get up to no good. By that, I mean, doing sexual stuff. He only kissed me on our first meeting (17th November), but on our second meeting (4th December), things turned sexual. I told him we're going too fast and he agreed, but he didn't sound like he meant it. He said he did all things out of 'love' and nothing more. I find that bullcrap. He says I am his girlfriend and he is committed to me. We don't talk about sexual stuff every single day or anything. On WhatsApp, we mostly have conversations about normal things. I am confused to whether he's using me for sexual stuff/sex because he talks to me every single day and nearly all day if he can. He's took me out for a meal, and he hasn't pressured me into having sex because I'm still not ready (pregnancy scares, etc) but that makes me think he's getting it elsewhere if he's not getting it from me. He always tries to make me feel better when I'm down (I have depression, so it's a lot) and even stays awake slightly longer than he should to try make me feel a little better. I don't mind getting sexual, as long as he loves me for me and doesn't just want that. I asked him and he said he loves me for me and doesn't care if we don't do anything sexual. He's took me to meet his family and best friend and he's not hiding our relationship from anybody, so I'm quite confused. His past relationships are quite shady and said he was cheated on twice, but for some reason, I believe he did the cheating. He keeps saying he'll never cheat on me because he wouldn't put anyone else through what he went through and looked deeply into my eyes while he said it. He's quite immature as well and laughs at sexual innuendos. Every time we have a silly argument, he removes our relationship status off Facebook and deletes our pictures together. I asked him why he does such a childish thing and said he was just "angry at the time" and felt stupid for doing it. I love him, but I'm not sure if he loves me as much as I love him.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 February 2016):
 I am not sure where your doubts are coming from honey, all that you have mentioned in your post says to me that he is a good guy. Okay so he might be a bit immature, but if you can see past that then it sounds like he is decent enough. He makes the effort to ensure that you are okay and he has made the effort to introduce you to his family. It is only natural that he wants to be sexual with you because well he finds you attractive, but it doesn't sound to me like that is all that he has to offer. You sound very insecure. Its like you just don't trust him, is there reasons not to trust him? He told you he was cheated on and you assume that it was him that done the cheating? Why?
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