A
male
age
30-35,
*luenee
writes:I love her so much.. But we have not kissed each other yet.. Now she is in abroad for study.. Before i couldn't ask her for kiss because i didn't want to hurt her feelings.. Just last night of the day she was leaving the place, i asked for k kiss, but she denied.. May be she got puzzled..or amazed or fear.. Whatever it is, is it necessary that kiss should be done being bf and gf?we have been knowing each other since three years.. Two years, we studied same college.. We got intimate and became closest friend of each other. For six months we had been studying in next city. There we got more intimate. Fell in love with each other.. Then after that she went abroad for her study. Now she'll be back here after four months. By the time it'll be a year.. We do regular chat, sometimes phone callss, sending recorded voice and pictures,so maintain our long distance relationship.. But still not kissed each other.. Neither we can,because we can't date each other now... But should i have kissed her earlier?
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fell in love, kissing, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Yes, you are right, don't even "ask" and just let it happen naturally when the moment is right... Don't make yourself crazy with so many mind trips, it's best to wait these 100 days and see how it goes when she comes back. In person things are always more natural and real than by phone or email.
Careful though : what does it mean she does not want to " break up " with the other guy ? ... She can't have two boyfriends right ? she needs to choose. And if the other guy thinks HE is her boyfriend, and she lets him believe that, just because it's easier... that's not very nice of her !
A
male
reader, Aluenee +, writes (18 June 2011):
Aluenee is verified as being by the original poster of the question@abella: truely,i had felt bad when she denied when i asked for kiss. I take her love as three pages.. Keeping those days i asked for kiss, that was the moment when she was not much serious about me.. She loved me but not as i did to her, neither she beleived that i really love her.. And the time of five six months before that was the time when she loved me a lot.. But she didn't express.. And third one is after that moment, time when she left this country for her study. After that she loves me too as i do her. And she is affected by my words.. She feels bad when i talk about other guys with him coz she never wants to talk about other while talkin with me. may be i'm wrong in interpreting about her.. But she is really nice girl. Lets see what happens after we meet.. But so far as i've known her she loves me. Otherwise she would've never understood me nor she would have dropped her tears for me.. I'm just waiting for days to meet her.. After that, it'll decide my way.
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Kissing not everything. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. Without mutual trust (on both sides) you do not have a relationship.
A person you trust is a person who feels they can discuss and share anything with you. There is no hesitation. If there is complete trust you can be yourself at all times. Relax completely. There are no secrets (except maybe a special birthday present)
In a good relationship one hour together rushes past like a single minute. Time together passes so quickly. You find time for each other, because being together means so much.
In a relationship that is not working a minute togther is awkward. It feels like a terrible long drawn out uncomfortable hour. The other person is happy to detach from someone they are not 'into' as soon as possible.
When you asked for that kiss, lets see what happened.
Lets look at the actions going on here. You are totally adoring of this girl. She means so much to you. And you were gentlemanly enough to ask her for a kiss. That is very charming and gallant of you.
I have read all your previous posts and it saddens me that you have possibly been far more interested in this girl than she is interested in you.
Have you tried to see other girls who you can see every day?
I do not want to see you strung along by this girl. I would hope she is as similarly besotted by you as you are by her.
But what happened when you very charmingly asked her for a kiss?
Nothing.
Well not exactly nothing. She refused you? How could she? I know you are hoping, hoping, hoping this will all work out. You have done nothing wrong. But you have invested a mighty dose of trust into the situation. As evidenced by all your previous posts.
If she was truly besotted by you, when you asked for a kiss, she would have moved closer to you. Looked at you, and
closed her eyes. Unspoken messages would have flowed between the two of you. You would have felt her body relax and melt into you. And the kiss would have happened.
You have this girl on a very high pedestall.you hold a torch for her. Does she put a photo of you on her Facebook and announce to the world that 'this is my boyfriend'. No she does not, because she can't do it.
Ask her when it is 'your time' to be 'the
one' in her life.
She will be back in four months. When that happens I hope she will finally make more time for you.
Trust and being open and honest with each other are the most important elements. A kiss will not increase her affection for you if she is already more interested in someone else.
Please protect your heart in this.
I do hope that within the next four months she is able to recognise the depth of your sincerity towards this girl.
Hope all goes well after the next four months.
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A
male
reader, Aluenee +, writes (18 June 2011):
Aluenee is verified as being by the original poster of the question@cindy cares :
....
....hmm.no she is not much in contact with that guy.. If possible then may be he have called her.. But its rare.. But no doubt, she loves me.. Yeah its openly discussed that we are bf n gf.. We started saying this just since we were just close frens only. But now we mean it.. We both agreed for it... We both love each others. And few knows about it. I don't know about that other guy. Its little difficult for her to ask for break up. Some conditions are against it. N next, she don't want to make her image down asking break up.i don't want either she being bad in others view.. She is just keeping gap between that guy.. If i ever find her tellin lie about this, i'll move away from her.. Yeah she was not willing for kiss.. U are right.. May be something was going in her mind.now she'll be back in 100 Days.. Now i think kiss should happen between us.. Not intentional kiss, but kiss should be.. Isn't it? Am i wrong about this???
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (18 June 2011):
So how's the situation now with this guy S: ? The one she is /was in love with ? Are they still together ? If she says no, how do you know for sure that she is not stringing along the both of you as she seems having being doing all along ?...
Who SAID- agreed - that you are bf and gf ? Is it something that has been openly discussed and decided, or is it just the way you see things ?...
And, what does it mean "should I have kissed her earlier "?
You asked for a kiss, she said no. So she did NOT want to be kissed, and I think she would not have appreciated being kissed against her will.
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A
male
reader, Aluenee +, writes (18 June 2011):
Aluenee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys. Can u read my previous posts? There is written about matter with me and her. It will be easier for you to advise me properly... Anyways thanks for your answers,they are very sweet..
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A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 don't worry about anything, everything will happen when the time is rite. Relax yourself in the relationship and things will fall in place!! Have fun :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 June 2011):
 This is such a sweet and refreshing posting! Trust me Buddy that kiss is coming and boy howdy it's going to be worth the wait! Best of luck.
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