A
female
age
30-35,
*ysteryGirl122
writes:is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend- or have a crush on them? by the way i am a girl and my best friend is a girl. help!
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female
reader, lexpro  +, writes (26 June 2008):
Damn gurl, I know what you are going thru. Im going thru the same thing. I have been friends with this gurl for 11 years. We got pregnant together and had girls. The girls are now 7 years old and do everything together. Our lives are so intertwined that if I told her I dnt know how messed up my life would be. Im so in love with her. I have a husband. Ive been with him for 13 years and for some reason Id give it all up for her. Ive been secretly in love with er for a little over 3 years now and I kinda told her about a year ago and things changed. She doesnt like me like that and I know it, but I finally feel as though I have to tell her. I want it to be known. Ive never told anyone, but my therapist. He feels I should tell her and if things change then they change. Im so damn jealous and it has damaged our relationship cuz I dnt think she knows how deeply Im in love with her. Everyone on this page has replied some really good info. I think begin honest is good. If you tell her the truth and she leaves you then maybe it was never meant to be. Nothing can be done. However if u told her and something did happen, and 3 years pass and u two break up where does it leave the friendship. I dont want to ruin our friendship. Id rather let her know and just let it be out in the open and not have anything happen. She means way too mmuch to me to just let this friendship get away from me..u feel me!! If u want to talk messsage me.
A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (5 May 2008):
 well hun may be u have been with her for so long,probably its just the attachment that u have towards her is making u feel like that..its not bad to adore and respect your friends..there are different types of crushes..some crushes just last for day .some for months while others for years..u may either like the person for looks or nature or may be just something unique about him or her..i think its not wrong its normal for teenagers to feel that way!!!
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A
female
reader, MysteryGirl122 +, writes (4 May 2008):
MysteryGirl122 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou, Hope 123, you have some good advice there! yes, i will carry on, thats what ive been trying to do for 2 years now. its just painful because i know that she is straight, and i know that im straight too. Because, i do not feel attracted to other girls at all, its just her. and im attrated to guys, like normal. so i am really confused and very confused about what i should do. if i tell her, i know it would wreck our friendship-but i cant get rid of the feelings. help! you know how i feel?
please reply soon?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Wow, Kimaxsi has made some really great points! It's very difficult when this happens.. And there isn't much u can do to stop yourself from feeling things.. If your feelings begin to get really strong I would consider telling her, unless you know that she'll react badly. You have to make sure that you don't keep it to yourself and not tell anyone because it hurts a lot when you are the only person who knows about such an important thing in your life. Kimaxsi is also right ... don't stop doing other things and just focus on her, I know well how difficult it is to try and distract yourself but the best you can do is try! Though i must admit i'm not great at that myself!!
I know exactly how you feel about this, so if u ever want to message me feel free :-)
Good luck !!!
xx Hope xx
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A
female
reader, MysteryGirl122 +, writes (3 May 2008):
MysteryGirl122 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou, Kimaxsi, that does make sense to me in way. But at the moment im really confues about my feelings and i do not want to ruin the friendship. Your advice was helpful because i am thinking more clearly now.although, my feelings are growing stronger everytime i see her and it becomes more painful when others are around her/ having physical contact with her. can you offer any more advice? or anyone else who has given me advice?thank you to the others who replied too.
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A
female
reader, Nibblet +, writes (3 May 2008):
 yes its very possible to fall in love with your best friend. Im in love with my best friend (were both girls) and i liked her before we became best friends. and theres nothing wrong about it. i told my best friend that i love her and shes cool with but its only going to be on that friend level which i guess is ok =/ but were still the bestest of friends.
If you even want to talk just message me.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 You can fall in love with almost anyone at almost any age, and it's not wrong.
The real question is whether you should show your love, and that's more difficult to answer.
Love can be shown in many ways, and true friendship is one of them. Friendship can last longer than love, and in many ways can be far more powerful and far more important. The problem when you are younger (or so I found, and I can still remember it) is that your emotions and desires as well as your hormones are still maturing and still changing. What or who seems most wonderful at that moment can seem quite different in a year or two - or even in a month or two. Friendship can outlast those changes in you; love, as I think you mean love, may not.
Why don't you take things very slowly? Above all, don't risk losing a friendship for something that may be a relatively short-lived desire even if it doesn't seem it could possibly be that at this moment. Enjoy your friendship, and enjoy the thoughts of what it may blossom into in the future. No one can criticise you for your private thoughts and desires, but sometimes you have to be very, very sure of them before you reveal them to anyone else.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 You're asking a different question here. The question is not whether you can fall for your best friend; that often happens. The question is whether a girl can fall for another girl. No. That's human nature.
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