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Is it wrong to date my step sister? Our parents found out and they want to break either their relationship or ours.

Tagged as: Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 23 April 2009)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My dad is about to get married and she has a daughter and we really like each other and have been keeping a secret relationship for 2 months. they just found out and they want either their relationship to end or ours. Either way i wont be living in the same house as them. What should i do? Is it wrong to date your step-sister?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009):

I was in the exact same situation. When I was 13 and she was 12, (our parents had married) we first kissed. It went on for another three years in complete and total secrecy, we were both completely ashamed. We were never together, and we both would go out and meet other people but seemingly always return to eachother. It gradually became more serious and we had sex about 3-4 years later, about then I realised I'd been in love with her the whole time, pretty soon she told me the same. We both gradually told close friends who seemed pretty accepting, whcih led to us both accepting that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. Eventually the family found out and it was actually a relief more than anything, we could finally be ourselves and not hide it from anyone anymore.

Seriously, if people think it's wrong they can get messed up, cos it's not and you can only understand if you've been in the situation.

We were together for a year and although I thought it might've been forever we did break up and 2 years later it is still very difficult for us to get over each other, we have had a sexual and emotional relationship for pretty much the entire time since we broke up, all that's changed is exclusivity.

so yeah - go for it, just keep your head screwed on. it's not the stepsister part that is a bother, it's the teenage girl part you have to worry about

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A male reader, Ricky1989 United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2009):

I think its illegal in most places (I cant remember but I might be wrong) but either way, its not like she's your blood sister.

I personally say go for it.

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A female reader, RawrrJoJoBabii United States +, writes (22 July 2008):

RawrrJoJoBabii agony auntI think theres no problem with this.. she's only your stepsister &+ its not as serious as your brother or sister biologically. To me it doesn't seem as a form of incest &+ I don't find it wrong at all. if i was you i would keep on with your relationship. Your parents may not understand this now but they soon will when they realize you guys understand how you feel about each other.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008):

There's nothing wrong with dating your stepsister. I would keep doing it if I were you. Lots of step-siblings date, have sex with each other, and even get married. So I would go ahead and keep seeing her.

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A male reader, no_issues United States +, writes (1 July 2008):

no_issues agony auntTell them that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And then move to San Francisco.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntIts not wrong and it sounds as though you havent really grown up together either.

Cool it for now as you would never forgive yourself if you spoilt your dads chance at happiness. Let them have their wedding and try and wait until the dust has settled. Then take your dad to one side alone and explain to him that there is nothing wrong with this relationship. They are probably concerned about the repurcussions it will have if you have a major falling out, it could easily upset the whole family and cause arguments and side taking.

Explain to him that you are old and daft enough to make your own decisions in life whether they end up being a mistake or not, you cant help who you fall in love with and ask him to be as happy for you as you both are for him and her mother. I wish you good luck x

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2008):

DrPsych agony auntYou are not biologically related and it is probably not illegal (depends on local law). However, this could be very complicated if your parents do continue with their relationship while your relationship with your step-sister fails. In normal situations you can avoid the person afterwards but that won't be the case with you as you still have to see her at family occasions etc.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008):

It's not technically wrong but it is seen as a form of incest. Probably both of your parents see you as kids, maybe siblings now, and the thought just scares them. Why not try to date other people? You won't lose anything and just keep a frienship with your step-sister.

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