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Is it wrong that he constantly thinks about me being with women, or him being with other women and me at the same time?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

While my boyfriend and I were having sex one time, and I was on top, he said [Is it wrong that I can't wait to do this with another woman]

Is there something wrong when you're with a guy for 2 and a half years and for the past 2 years, he's hounded you for a threesome? I am interested in other women, but is it wrong that he constantly thinks about me being with women, or him being with other women and me at the same time. He says he never thinks of being with other women without me.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009):

I'll try and give the male perspective on this one.

Many men (myself included) find the thought of two women being sexually intimate INCREDIBLY arousing. It is one of our deepest fantasies to be involved with two women who are pleasuring each other. I don't think I can fully explain why, but that doesn't stop it from being true.

Your boyfriend has probably been fantasizing about having a threesome since the day he found out that you were interested in other women - he can't help it, it's just wired into our brains. You can't really blame him for trying to make it happen, especially if you haven't explicitly said what your feelings on the matter are. If you want him to stop bringing it up you have three options:

1. Have a threesome

2. Tell him that you are not comfortable with having a threesome, and that it will never happen.

3. Tell him that you will have a threesome if and when YOU find another woman that you feel comfortable with, and that he is not allowed to talk about it unless YOU bring it up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009):

That really depends on your bounderies. I would punch my husband in the face for saying that.. hell.. he would punch HIMSELF in the face if he even thought that. and vice versa.. i would never want that. But some people love threesomes. My friend had them all the time with her boyfriend and his ex. She said as long as he didn't have any emotionsal feelings for her it was okay. It depends on you and how you feel. Just think about it and how you really feel.. don't think about anyone else not even your boyfriend. You're the only one who can tell yourself if it is wrong to you or not.

I really hope i helped... i feel like i didn't, but that is exactly what i think.

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