A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I don't love or fancy my wife any more... Help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): Dont worry you are not alone. I've not fancied or loved my wife for over 2 years now and we no longer make love either. I have reconciled myself to loving my children, which I do very much. However my wife is now asking for more in our relationship which is understandable. Its a slippery downward slope, even when you had good reason to start with, then its difficult to change, even if you try. I am not sure any answer is good, however if you no longer care then its time to throw in the towel, I dont care anymore, but I am gutless and cannot bring myself to do it, but I am just cheating myself and my wife so in the end I will have to make a decision. I will let you know what happens when I do. If you are reading this you are probably in a similar position and have reached the crossroads and are looking for answers...I wish you luck...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): You loved your wife at some point.. so how could you not love her now? If you loved her for all the right reasons, for who she is and her values and morals and her personality, then how could your love for her change?
Unless she has changed who she is..
I'm not sure. This is hard for us to answer because we don't know anything about what you've done or been through together, but you loved her once and if you've "grown apart" then you should learn how to grow together instead. Poeple probably do change as they get older but the real her must still be somewhere inside of her. Can you remember why you fell in love with her? Do you have a wedding video you can watch again? Or pictures? Try to remind yourself why you used to love her and if she really is just a changed person and not someone you can love anymore, AND you think you still have time to find someone else who can make you happy forever and ever, then i guess you know what you have to do.
Don't argue in front of your kids though.
Goodluck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): First of all you should ask yourself why you don't love or fancy her any more. If you can answer that with a valid reason, then ask yourself what can both of you do to change that. You know no one can make you love them. If you two have children please see if you can try working it out. This world is getting more and more difficult to live in as it is. Seeing children having to deal with mommie and daddie don't like each other really hurts them. On the other hand, I don't think couples should remain in a loveless marriage for them, because it's not healthy either. Search long and hard to see if there is something that can bring you back to the reason you fell in love with your wife, and one that can rekindle the flames that once burned.Hope this helps.
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