A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm a closeted lesbian and recently had my first hookup with a female. It was definitely a one night thing for her (she's "straight", or as straight as you can be when you hook up with a female? She told me she was straight anyways) and she probably didn't want to pursue anything after. I didn't really think much of it, being pretty sloshed myself, but now that it's been a couple of weeks I can't stop thinking about her. I know there's no chance of us ever being anything, especially because I lied about my age (told her I was older than I was) and there is no basis for a relationship outside of the perimeters of that one drunken night. I'm just so confused about my emotions and literally think about her all the time. I even made a fake Facebook account posing as another person and friended her so I could look at her pictures, and feel like I was closer to her...Is that super stalker/weird? From looking at her profile I can definitely make the assumption that I was not her first one night stand, and she's a bit of a cougar. I'm just so confused and distraught, the only thing I want it so relive that night again. Is it unhealthy for me to keep clinging on to memories of that night and looking at her profile?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Yes. Well, unhealthy is a big word, but it won't serve any practical purpose ,least of all that of promoting your happiness and well being. You risk of spending a lot of emotional energy just getting stuck in the past and detracting your interest and attention from all the cool things that are happening, or may happen, to you and around you in the present and in the future. You will also
idealize and blow out of proportion what in real life has been a casual meeting of two drunken people for the purpose of sensual gratification, nothing more and nothing less. Nothing to be particularly ashamed of- these things happen- but also nothing to cherish as your fondest memory.
I understand that you may feel your emotional attachment is
involuntary and you have no control over it- perhaps, but at least do not nurture it ! Do not encourage it !
Don't look back, look forward. At your age ,probably life has still in store for you plenty of chances with cougars ,kittens,lionesses and all kind of beautiful felines :)
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