A
female
age
41-50,
*aggie11
writes:My husband and I have been arguing for the last couple of months (mostly due to his moodiness). We have been married for 3 years and together for 7. He had mentioned that I had been snippy lately so I was actively working on the problem. He brought up the idea of counseling and I said that since I had been working on things on my own, maybe it would be beneficial for him to go on his own first since he has some unresolved anger issues. He was fine with that. Well a month passed and he didn't sign up for counseling. He brought up several times that I wouldn't let him go which was completely untrue. He then changed his story to I wouldn't support him. He mentioned counseling several other times (always when we were fighting) so we never had any "real" conversations about it. One night he was grumpy and and he said he wanted to go to counseling on his own. I told him to go but since he were arguing, I mentioned that I thought it was a cop-out because he was unhappy and couldn't tell me why. The next day he took off work to move his stuff out, change his address and move our joint money into different accounts. He scheduled a counseling session the next day but wouldn't let me go. After the session I told him that I would like to go with him to the next one but hopefully he could consider moving back home. He remembers me saying "why should I go if you're never coming back." After that I told him everyday that I would like to go with him even if he didn't move home, but after a week he said it was too late and he didn't think the marriage was worth saving. I set up my own counseling session and invited him along but he refuses to go along or give it another try.I am finding out from friends that he was unhappy because he felt that we had too many pets, he had too many responsibilities around the house, and several times when we were fighting I said I hated him (which obviously I didn't mean). These are things that could have been easily fixed if he had talked to me about them. I would've gone to counselling with him, I just thought we should try to talk about things first. Does it seem like there is another problem behind this? Sometimes I wonder if he is sick of responsibility and just wants to hang out with his friends. Is there anyway to convince him to give counselling another chance?
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female
reader, maggie11 +, writes (17 September 2008):
maggie11 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try to be attentive to his needs. The problem is he really lacks communication skills. I found out recently that there are things that have bothered him for 7 years that he never vocalized.
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