A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I don't think I can put up with my wife anymore. She's driving me to misery. I've been married for 18 years and have two step daughters, both of which I adore, that are both almost married themselves. I work my backside off five days a week as a joiner.My wife is abusive towards me and I have no idea why. She does not have a job. She has had them in the past but they only last a couple of weeks before she quits on the grounds that the job is "too hard" and she's "exhausted". She spends every penny I earn on cigarettes and hideous things for the house. Who wants a goat skin lamp in their house? It looks like something from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The house is decorated to the way she wants it. It's kind of African themed with statues of Masai warriors all over the place. It looks awful. I certainly couldn't afford to decorate it like that but I did just to have some peace.She looks at me like she loves me one second and then the next she looks at me with sheer contempt. I can just be sat watching the television and she will explode. I've lost count of the amount of times that I've been accused of having an affair. The last time was when she went through my van and found a tobacco tin. One of the lads that I work with left it in my van but in my wife's eyes this meant that I was having an affair with someone that smokes roll-ups. No matter what I said, she wouldn't listen. Once, she punched me in the eye while I was driving! I'd done nothing at all. I'm surprised there wasn't a serious accident. She hates it if I have fun, any kind of fun. She scowls at me if I laugh at something on the television. I refuse to by her any alcohol. She's by no means an alcoholic but she gets worse if she has a drink. She won't go out and by it herself. She won't leave the house unless it's in the car with me because people might see her and talk about her! I opened up another bank account so I could put some money away for myself. I didn't tell her about this but she found out as she opens my mail. She blew up because she thinks the money is to buy presents for all my other women! She made me clear it out and put it in our joint account so she can spend it on rubbish things. We never have any money! She complains that I won't touch her but can you blame me when I'm constantly nagged at? My step-daughters and their fiance's are embarassed to come round because of her behaviour! Is it time to call it a day? I've not given you all the details of her behaviour otherwise we'd be here all week!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): IMHO you've done your duty. You've helped raise her kids to the point where they're ready to leave the nest. If you still have any feelings for her, then do invest the time and effort into counselling. But personally I wouldn't blame you a bit if you made the split.
But first, before you say a word to her, consult a legal professional and find out what her rights are to your property & such, and to make sure you protect your legal rights.
It sounds like a rotten situation, and I wish you all the best going forward.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (14 April 2009):
 Yes I really think it is time to leave her, the kids are grown up and have partners of their own, why stick around and be miserable for the rest of your life?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): She's just a control freak, with a don't care attitude. Time to move on, NOW. Don't keep on agonising over it, just do it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Hey man, I really feel bad for you, but, I know how you feel! I'm In basically the same situation! Idk what to do either! I would tell you to leave her, but it's not easy! I really hope things get better for you my friend!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Oh buddy, I feel for you. I think it's time to get out. If she was any kind of wife she would worship the ground you walk on for working hard, bringing home the bread and providing her with the money to buy all her 'pretty' things. Especially, if she contributes nothing to the finances. The sad thing is, if she was a single woman the jobcentre would be on her back to get her into work. But because she has you providing for her she can get away with doing sweet F.A.For your own sanity I think you need to get away from her. It'll be tough and she'll probably try to make your life a misery but it will be worth it in the long run. My partner works hard to pay for our furniture etc... We have things I would not be able to afford on my income alone and for that I am extremely grateful to him. And I make sure he knows how much I appreciate it. You deserve someone who will show their appreciation to you. You're providing for your family, you're a real man. There is someone out there who will recognise that. I wish you all the best.
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