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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it possible to keep work life and personal life as completely separate? I am quite paranoid about the intermix of the two as i consider the colleagues at work to be a kind of threat for my personal life of family. Please advice..
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 "I like to create a glamorous and interesting workplace whereever i work."
If you are the original poster and are married then you are playing a very dangerous game. If you are not, then play away, but recognize the risks (and rewards!) of getting close to work colleagues.
You are in control of the situation if you have the courage to enforce your boundaries. It's as simple as that. If you put off some colleagues then that is a consequence of enforcing boundaries. If you feel guilty about that, then you ignore your inner voice at your peril.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): I like to create a glamorous and interesting workplace whereever i work. A part of it is about looking out or getting infatuated with someone at work for a while and move on, till the interest keeps us both motivated. This way we can avoid the boredom of routine work and work related stress and anxieties of life in general. But this is all meant to be innocent and nothing serious, but i still find some people trying to run in to my private life. Like one of my female bosses who is in 30's, single and divorced, plays dominating tricks to manipulate and suck me out of any positive energy, i might be getting from my family members..I see narcissistic people all over and avoiding them may not always be possible. Need some advice..
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (15 June 2007):
You really must elaborate on how you believe your work colleagues threaten your family life.
For the moment I will assume the best case scenario - that you value your family life and are very particular about whom to let into that part of your life. Well, that's me. I am very slow to trust people, and even if someone earns my trust there is much more to overcome before they get near my private family life. This is why I use a pseudonym online.
You need a clear sense of the boundaries you wish to establish not only in your life but also among the various circles of people that are part of your life. Once you have a good sense of those boundaries then it's a matter of enforcing them. When you are faced with the prospect of letting someone into your family circle, there is no better guide than an inner voice guided by the appropriate moral compass. Once you have that inner voice and are listening, then it's easy to determine who to let in and who to keep out.
Once again I am assuming a best case scenario for your situation. Please respond with an update. Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (15 June 2007):
 As we spend on average of 8 hours a day with work colleagues its very hard for co-workers to not know something about you.
Why are the colleagues at work a threat to your personal life?.
Its natural that people at work generally ask questions, whether it be out of interest or other reasons. For instance if you were getting married are you saying you woulden't want people at work to know about it.
I don't know about your work, but where i am its very hard not to talk about your personal life as we all work in such a close environment, and also i have worked with some of them for 6 or 7 years.
The awnser to you question is yes i think you could keep you personal life seperate from co-workers if thats what you really wanted to do.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (15 June 2007):
 I am not sure exactly what you mean, as I dont know your exact circumstances, but it is very possible to keep your personal life and work life seperate.
I have a small business and I NEVER allow my work life to rule my personal/private life. I used to bring home work every night and my boyfriend and I had no life together at all. After a long think about things and where my life was going, it was quickly decided that work stays at work, and play time is play time.
I have a business mobile that gets switched off as soon as I leave the office, and it doesnt go back on until the next morning when I am getting ready for work. My office knows that if it is something urgent, they may call me on my private mobile, but other than that, no way at all. And it had better be a major crisis to call me in my play time.
You have to make the choice whether or not you want your work life to interfere with your personal life. You have to allow it!
There are a lot of people who have demanding jobs where there lives are totally consumed by their work, they have no life, but it also depends on what line of work you are planning to go into.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (15 June 2007):
 In what way is your family threatened by your work collegues?? Are you feeling attracted to one of them? Do you feel that your work will take over your life to the detriment of your family??
In general I dont see why people can't balance the two. I was actually having a conversation about this the other day with somebody I work with but in the reverse direction. I said that it's hard to seperate work and personal life when your 'personal life comes to work' so to speak.
Things can be pretty much how you make them. You dont have to involve your work collegues in your family life at all if you dont want. Just dont invite any around to your home and make it clear you want to seperate the two. I think you need to be more specific.
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