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Is it possible to change who who we are?

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Question - (5 September 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 September 2016)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My friend has a theory that people never change, he says he thinks that people have this illusion that they change but actually your core stays the exact same.

Another thinks people can make small changes in who they are. I believe someone can change if they will it, and make drastic changes, whether physical, intellectual or whatever. Am I wrong to find my friends views hard to accept and slightly offensive?

I accept everyone has different views. But this triggers me a lot, as I feel I have changed a lot and lived many lives, depending on what happens and who I am surrounded by and how society paints me as an individual . People go through traumatic events or obstacles in life, these can make big changes in how they view themselves and others. My friend might not believe he can change, but to apply that thought process to everyone assumes we all have the same operating systems, which I don't believe we do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2016):

This is the debate of nature and nuture

It's our nature to be as we are and yet our environment and nuture givers also form a base line .. as a mental health care giver .. I find some people can fully change their behaviour or way of thinking whereas some will change for a while but then be drawn back into the behaviours or mindset that they are used too, some would say it's their nature to be as they are .

So I basically fully agree with honey pie ..Some people can find they will change through life and environment etc while others will find that they cannot bend so for them little changes .. If we were all the same life would indeed be boring

I don't think either one of yous are wrong .. I just think you see things from a different view point .. so mark this up to that and move the topic to something else .

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 September 2016):

Honeypie agony auntWhat your friend base their OWN PERSONAL opinion on, is THEIR life experiences, just like YOU judge yours on YOUR life experiences. No two people have the exactly the same experience through life.

That is why... different folks - different strokes.

I have seen people overcome a shit-tonne of issues and rise to be nothing like what they were. And I have seen people totally incapable of chancing. They just "adjust" the facade a little, but behind that... it's still them.

For some, traumatic experiences makes them victims. For others... survivors.

So I think you are being a bit narrow-minded in expecting them to understand YOUR journey with THEIR background. If that makes sense.

Most likely because this is a sensitive subject for you.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntThen you don't agree. Some people have experiences that show "nobody" can change. Others have experiences that "everyone" can change. I believe there are limits, but people can make different choices that lead to a change, but that doesn't always mean the person underneath has changed.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

This quote is open to interpretation. It could be more about purpose than the ability to morph and change. Would like to hear your thoughts though.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (5 September 2016):

Denizen agony aunt“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

? C.G. Jung.

Is that any help?

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