A
male
age
36-40,
*ebhouseict
writes:Hi Pals,I want you to help me on this issues. I have a computer training school. I have many students both male and female that are learning computer. There was a girl in my school. The first day I set my eyes on her, I feel something deep for her. One day we exchange mobile number.We have explained ourselves, sometimes we chat and have fun. The problem is when I told her that I have feelings for her that I want to be with her, she replied that she was in a relationship. I asked her for how long and she said 3 years and 7 months now. I asked her did the person occupy her whole heart and she said I don't know.There was a question she asked me one day that "If am your girl, and you saw me cheating, what will you do?"I answered her question that "There are some things that will make a girl to cheat maybe the person is not caring, truthful, honest and understanding"she said her friend have all these things and even more than it.She don't want to disappoint him.Now I asked her again,"Do you think he feel the same thing as you did, she replied I can say Yes or No, because am not in his heart.I said Ok,how can you be with someone you doesn't know his heart?, that means there is no trust between you and him?.She refused to give me answer that day. Yesterday I sent her sms that my feelings is getting stronger every day by day. she replied me that what I feel about her is lust of the flesh, If I get that thing now, I will push her away. she don't want someone that will hurt her and she don't want to break someone heart.I convince her that what I feel about her is true and nothing behind it.Just today I was with her, we chat and talk a little. She asked me that are you telling me to leave my boy friend and follow you?, I replied "Love is something you feel and be happy, if you feel that being with me will make you happy, fine, but if you feel it will make you sad,tell me"Let your heart choose. My question now is, is it possible to be with someone that have someone else and is it possible to love your student. I know this girl feel the same, but her fear was I might leave her according to what she said. tell me what to do about this issues.I truly love her and nothing behind it. I also tell her that "Don't trust me by words of mouth, trust me by manners and behavior.Please help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 You're about the same age, so I can see why this is bothering you. I don't think there is any harm in talking with her and telling her your thoughts and feelings. However, I would not do it if she is currently in a relationship with someone else. You do not want to put yourself in a situation where you are the other man. You will put yourself through a lot of emotional trauma if you get together with someone who is already taken. Tell her that if she breaks up with her boyfriend and she has completed your course, you will date her.
A
male
reader, webhouseict +, writes (30 July 2012):
webhouseict is verified as being by the original poster of the question She's 22 years old. Yes it is a computer school where people learn computer technology.....
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (28 July 2012):
How old is this girl? Is this computer school of yours a type of university or like college here in the states where someone pays for your services, or is she more like a high school student?
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A
male
reader, webhouseict +, writes (28 July 2012):
webhouseict is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have respect myself, but it seems the girl is wanting me again, Just day before yesterday, I told myself that I won't talk to her and I will respect myself until she finish her training.I was talking to her yesterday, she asked me why I refused to talk to her day before yesterday? I said am not in the mood and am not happy. she forced me to tell her what happened and I said nothing.She said If you don't tell me, she won't be happy. I replied her that only my lover would know what happened to me. she said why did you said that? am I not your lover?I was confused and replied, are you not somebody's property or are you not in a relationship with someone? she kept calm and said Ok can you manage to be with me?. I don't know what to reply her.Please tell me what to do, because am really confused now, You said I should move one with my life.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (26 July 2012):
None of what you said here really matters. What matters is that you are in a position of authority as her teacher and should not be asking her such personal questions. The answers are honestly none of your business. Why? Because not only is she your student, but she also has a boyfriend. Stop bothering this girl and move on with your life. After a point, these unwanted questions and advances become stalking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): You need to forget about her, unless and until she changes her situation on her own.You're her teacher, so it's wrong to be in a relationship with her. she needs to leave your school first.She has a boyfriend and she has not left him, so you can't have a real relationship with her. She needs to leave him first.But she doesn't want to leave him, and she has her own reasons whether you think they're good reasons or not. If she only leaves him due to pressuring from you, she would still not be mentally ready and that will cause problems later as she will have second thoughts about going back to him whenever there is any difficulty with you.so that pretty much means that you and her are a no-go unless and until in the future she has changed her situation by her own doing and not due to pressure from you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2012): I can't see how she would love you as you say you love her. She's been with her boyfriend for over three years, there must be something keeping her relationship with him alive. You haven't known her that long so what I think you feel for her is lust. It also sounds like you have put pressure on her to answer all your questions, which really you don't have a right to do, I don't think she would just come out with all that in passive conversation with you.
I think you should leave her be and just have a normal teacher student relationship. Purely educational not personal, if that's possible now.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 July 2012):
 She is your student, therefore you are in a teacher role here, so for you to have a relationship with this girl would be wrong on a lot of levels.
But on to your issue, she has a boyfriend she has been clear about that, I understand that you have strong feelings for her, but you need to accept that she is taking, if you get involved with this girl, you will more than likely out of a job and left heartbroken, she has been with her boyfriend a long time, I am sure she would not be with him that long if she was not in love with him, so I think you need to accept that and move forward with your life.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 July 2012):
 She's with someone else, and has told you over and over that she's not interested in being in a relationship with you. She has someone else. She's been trying to be nice, even telling you "How would you like it if your girlfriend were to cheat on you?" in an attempt to make you think about what you're trying to get her to do.
Whether this guy she's with "has her whole heart" is irrelevant. She's an adult. If she's not happy, she'll leave her boyfriend. You're bordering on stalker behavior, and the more you push and push, the more uncomfortable and creeped out she's going to get.
She's also right. You don't love her. You lust after her and want her. Real love doesn't push like this. Real love wouldn't keep pressing even if she's told you no. She doesn't want to break the heart of the guy she's with.
She is taken. Move on. To keep pushing like this shows that you do not respect her. If her feelings for this guy she's with change, she knows how to leave him. If she doesn't leave him, then you know that she's not wanting to be with you. Let her go, and let it go.
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