A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am now in the 2nd year of long-distance-relationship with my 60-year-old partner with the same experience of having relationship or marriage in the past before we met each other in office. Certainly we adore each other and always try our best to keep our relationship alive in between our busy days. This year my partner is stationed in a city which his ex-girlfriend lives. They broke up after more than a decade lived together because my partner lost his love feeling to her and he sees her as a sister. Does this kind of "changing feeling" exist in reality? I am really trying not to consume my brain with negative thinking as my partner ever told me she still has an open wound and seems trying to get him back.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (18 April 2018):
 Yes, feelings CAN (and often do) change for someone (otherwise couples would never split up). I have often heard people say "We live more like brother and sister than husband and wife" of a long term relationship which is not going well. It simply means all sexual attraction has dissipated. Of course this CAN sometimes be revived after a period apart, but this seems to be a relatively rare occurrence.
Your boyfriend has chosen to be in a relationship with YOU. He chose to finish his previous relationship. Just because he will be in the vicinity of his ex girlfriend does not mean he will have any desire to rekindle their relationship.
In your shoes I would concentrate on keeping YOUR relationship with him strong so that the thought of going back to his ex doesn't even enter his mind. SHE can do all she likes as long as HE chooses not to go there.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (18 April 2018):
 Using the term sister, instead of just "family" is a bit odd, but yes, it's possible. Her trying to get him back is a bit worrying, but nothing can happen if he's trustworthy because he wouldn't let it.
It's up to you whether you trust him or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2018): He broke up with her, he fell out of love with her as a partner but didn't stop getting on with her as a person. If your relationship is how you describe you are his lady and his ex is no threat. This boils down to trusting him, which in a long distance relationship at any age is harder than if you was with him all the time.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2018):
 In reality yes people can still love a person but not be in love with them any more. Maybe comparing her to a sister is quite strange as they where in a relationship, however he lost his feelings so he ended it.
Why are you insecure about him moving there? Do you trust him? For long distance to work out, trust really needs to be strong.
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