A
female
age
30-35,
*clipsed Love
writes:I'll try to make this as short as I can. I used to serial date like the best of them, I would go out with a guy for about a week, we'd sleep together and then I'd never speak to them again. I just started seeing this guy who's in the army and lo and behold we had sex, that also meant that my instincts kicked in and now my mind keeps going back to running. I haven't told him I'm thinking these thoughts. I tried ding a pro and con list, just to make myself see things a little clearly. He's still technically married until the divorce is finalized, there's a child involved, we've only just started seeing each other, nothing long enough to be considered remotely serious and he's already talking about whether I could see myself moving in with him. All the romance is taken out because everytime he brings it up he talks about how I'll have to help pay the bills too, do I have a good enough job to help pay bills, stuff like that. I can see all the things that used to make me run for the hills, but I'm trying to stand my ground and keep around for more than a week. He always talks about how hard he's falling for me, and I must feel it too...problem is, I don't trust my feelings that much anymore, so I don't feel that skipping beat everyone else says they get. The advice part...Am I wasting my time? Is it normal to be this confused only a week or so after we started talking? Is there something I need to change about myself so I can at least give this relationship a fighting chance?
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female
reader, Eclipsed Love +, writes (28 April 2012):
Eclipsed Love is verified as being by the original poster of the question I've tried that, it's not like I just found these people just for the sex. Every single time I go in hoping to get to know them...it just never works out that way, we go out end up having sex because of whatever reason and then there's no more need to have the conversations of getting to know each other. At least on their part...after the sex they figure they've absorbed everything about me from such a physical connection and we now know everything about each other. It's just the want for sex after that, nothing else. I don't know exactly why I leave so fast other than...once we have sex, what's the point of sticking around to get the reaffirmation that they just want sex after that, even though they really don't know anything about me....bring it up and they'll say they just know we're perfect for each other because "they never have sex that fast" Maybe I'm just sick of knowing that in the end they really didn't want to know me as dating material but just a bang buddy
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2012): Advance apologies for such a dumb suggestion, but have you ever considered the idea that you could use "dating" as a way to actually get to know a guy in order to determine whether the two of you are compatible BEFORE deciding to have sex with him?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2012):
 What is it you are scared of? If I am honest, he is being way to forward with you if you have only been seeing him a week, it is way to soon to be talking about moving in together and sharing bills and stuff. Things need to be taking slow, just concentrate on getting to know each other not thinking way to far ahead. You need to tell him he is getting way to serious to fast. No wonder you feel trapped if he is going to be talking about things like this after a week. He needs to slow down, so tell him that, and you just need to work out why you always do a runner, you must be scared of something.
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