A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ugh..I hate this. I can't tell whether it's her, or is it me just not accepting this. Okay, so I'll be honest overall people tend to say I'm quiet. To me I say, if I don't have/want to interact with you why should I? Which is alot of people you can say I guess. Only my close friends get to see the real me, but never all of me. I've learn that you shouldn't trust easily, and although having alot of friends is a good thing I'd rather have a small group of real friends. This upset me a bit. One of my close friends just told me that I'm quiet and should interact with people and that it gives you connections. (I'm actually stating it diferently) But my friend made it seem like their trying to tell me to change who I am. Although what the person said maybe good, I'd rather be friends with people who will stay in my life, not just use people to get somewhere. Me and my friend are very different, and although we're close there are some things my friend says that upsets me. I usually wait awhile before I tell em' so I can get everything out in the open, but it feels like my friends keeps doing the same thing. I'm a sensitive person, maybe even too sensitive. But now its like up to the point where sometimes I don't even want to talk to my friend. Was I wrong for getting mad for what my friend said? Should I have not taken it too seriously? I honestly don't think its me, the more me and my friend talks the more I realize that maybe we shouldn't have a *friendship*. Am I overreacting and if I am, how do I stop? Sometimes small comments are said, but they have a big meaning to me. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): I think your friend didn't mean to hurt your feelings with her comment, but may not have expressed it in a delicate way. It sounds like you are more introverted and they are more extroverted- we're all different and unique in our own way. But this also upsets things sometimes because something that may come easy to them like socializing with new people may not be as simple for you. Again, this is okay. No one should force you to do anything you don't want to do.
As you get older, you'll have more confidence in yourself and things will come easier to you. If she is your true friend, she will accept you for who you are. Take care!
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 August 2010):
 I think you over analyzed what she said a bit too much.
I think they see you as a shy wonderful girl and they want you to enjoy yourself and meet new people. She just wants more people to ENJOY you too, because she does. And she cares. THAT is how I read it.
Tell her HOW you feel, hopefully she will understand and accept that YOU are YOU.
To me she sounds like a good friend, who feels like she can tell HER friend (you) how SHE feels. :) Should be a 2 way street. Doesn't mean you always have to agree. You just have to agree to be honest with each other.
Good luck,
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Friends arent perfect, but remember ur friends with them for a reason. Everyone gets stabbed in the back by friends, bf..and we have trust issues so its hard to find new friends bc its almost like a job interview. (I can relate) I agree Id rather have a close knit group of friends i can trust rather than a bunch of friends i hardly know. Now I dont know exactly what ur friend said but it sounds like she was saying be friendly with ppl a lil more, get to see who they are and network, i.e. connections. She means that in a way its good to make connections with ppl bc later on down the road u might need their help..Ex: the economy is rough right now but my friend is one who "networks" stayed friends with this chick who finished school and got hired on at a hospital. Well my friend who was a recently graduated nurse had trouble finding a job and this friend who she stayed friends with helped her get on at the hospital. I dont see it as necessarily a bad thing or as using ppl its just that ur broadening ur horizon of friends and if u ever need a favor or vice versa they might just have they capabilities of helping u out. Whether its something major like a job, or scoring a backstage pass to a show bc they grew up with the band, theyre still ur friend but theyre a friend with connections that is doing something for u. And to all honestly, my friend didnt go being friends with this girl bc she knew she had connections (that would be wrong) it just sort of happened. I still keep in contact with I guy I used to work with at a clothing store with 4 yrs ago, he facebooked me not to long ago offering me a major job in his company, however i had to decline bc im married and were in the military. Bottom line, (sorry to drown on) remember y ur friends with this girl, I dont think she ment it in a bad way, ask her to explain herself bc u feel u might be taking it the wrong way. And if u honestly feel like she's not the friend u thought she was (on rare occasion this does happen) then end the friendship. First give her a chance to explain herself.
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