A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think my relationship has run its course, though I'm scared to say it. We're nothing at all like we were when we first started seeing each other- we were spontaneous, amorous, happy- everything lovers should be. We are each other's first relationships.He's had to move to the other side of the country where the work was, and I believe this to be the killer of the relationship.The times we do chat, he's easily irritable and on rare occasions has reduced me to tears. Last night, he suggested we talk less (we used to chat every night for an hour, it barely reaches that now) for health reasons.I have texts on my phone from this time last year, promising that "we'll always be together, because that's how it's meant to be". I asked him whether he still felt like it and he couldn't answer me. I've told him everything on my mind, and he told me he felt numb. When asked why, he said he didn't know. I don't know how to interpret this, except for the simple reason that he doesn't love me anymore.I have so many poisonous "what if"s running through my mind. What if he's fallen in love with someone else? What if he's just trying to find the most opportune moment to end the relationship?I am suffering from depression at the moment (and struggling to tell the people closest to me this, but that's a whole other story), and last night I self harmed- I can see this morning that I drew blood.Things just seem to be getting worse and worse, I feel like I'm over-dramatising my situation! Can someone with a level head make sense of all this?Needing your help badly, DearCupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): I don't think you are being over dramatic, I think that your depression is ruling your head and you are unable to be realistic.
Your boyfriend makes you cry and then makes you feel bad for crying after right? He has asked not to talk so much too.To me this says 'i have no balls, so I will put you down and be mean so you do the dirty work' So do what he wants and end it - You need someone more constructive and supportive in your life, not someone that cuts you off at the first hurdle.
Self harming, is not good. My partner used to self harm to'relieve' himself of the pain and confusion that he felt inside. He only self harmed once after we met, I provided him with open ears, at any time of day to rid of the ideas that were constantly forming in his head. I feel you need to find someone that you can use in this way too. He also had a counceller which he learnt to trust and eventually was able to cope with his feelings without the need to harm himself. Its all about your mentality. Your brain is retrainable you see, you can teach it to reason before you harm.
You need to get treatment for your depression whether it be therapy or anti-depressants. Its too easy to fall into a negative frame of mind and think that you will come out of it eventually. If it gets its grip on you, you will really struggle, so get help now.
Take care x
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Hi babe
I don't think you are over dramatising at all, we have all been there in relationships that are not working out and it makes us feel like crap.
You say you have a text from last year saying you will always be together as that's the way it's meant to be, but sometimes unfortunately we just grow apart no ones fault these things just happen.
What i am concerned about is the fact that you have self harmed over this, and you say you are suffering with depression. Are you being treated for this, if not if feel sure should make an appointment to see your doctor asap, as depression can be very destructive i know as i have been and still am being treated for it myself.
Have you many family and friends around you at the moment that you can talk to about this, as that makes things so much better and if you don't know where you stand with your boyfriend then i'm afraid you are just going to have to come out and ask him, so that if it is not meant to be you can at least try and move on babe.
Take care.xx.
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