A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was on my boyfriend's computer and was searching for my favorite magazine's website. When I started typing, a list of visits to this one porn site came up. My heart sank. My boyfriend had told me repeatedly that he found it disgusting and degrading and downright uninteresting and didn't like to watch and hadn't since early high school. I searched his history and found 7 or 8 instances of the site in the history. I'm not sure if they were all grouped together or not. I searched through the history for anything else using every keyword I could think of and found nothing, just this one site, 8 times. When he came back I tried to talk to him, pleaded with him to just tell me he did it, but he begged me to believe him that he's never seen them, they must be pop-ups. He spent about 30 minutes searching bits of the URL to prove that they were pop-ups but nothing totally convincing came up and pleading with me to believe him. Later on in the evening, after the turmoil had died down he got furious with me for having snooped on him by searching after I found it and is still mad at ME after I decided to let it go. I googled the site a bit more and found out it's a pay only site and seeing as redtube exists and he knows about it, I can't imagine him ever paying for porn. Also this site looked pretty generic, so I can't imagine anyone wanting to visit again. Or even once, especially not to pay (it wasn't a special fetish site or anything, just typical blonde with big boobs). Why would you when there's so much great free stuff? However, there are pictures and sample videos to look at to "help you decide to pay." Let me put this out there though, I don't actually have a problem with porn. I've watched and enjoyed it. I wouldn't care if he wanted to watch occasionally. I know he finds me attractive and would always prefer me to his hand. I'm somewhat insecure in my looks, but porn wouldn't make me feel worse unless he chose it over me. However, lying to me is a dealbreaker, end of relationship. I can't decide if he's lying or telling the truth and he's begged me not to ask my girlfriends for advice, which I am going to honor. Do you think he's lying?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Someone has to key in those URL's . For it cannot appear by itself in the computer's history.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 "Lying is a big deal to me as I don't think I will be able to ever trust someone who lied about something big to me."
Then get used to heartbreak, suffering and more crying. You said Porn is not important to you, as you've watched it yourself. So porn is not a big deal. But if your looking for the perfect human being who never lies at all, you'll be spending your life alone or crying and feeling let down.
People are human, they make mistakes, they get scared, they tell little lies to protect the people they love. Otherwise people would get very hurt when people say "yes you've got bad breath, a bad attitude and you look like an elephant in your favourite dress."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK so after hours of crying and begging on both sides (me telling him to tell the truth and him pleading with me that he honestly has not looked at any porn) we investigated. So all the URLs are just links to a pay site. Just ads/the front page, which is some pictures and links to where you can pay. He doesn't know if they were pop-ups at all, it was just an idea. He still says he honestly doesn't know how they got there and has been searching through download and internet history to find something. He told me to look through his bank records as proof he didn't pay for any porn and to install keylogger software on his computer so I can "put my mind at ease." He was serious, but I declined as that's just creepy. He's still unsure how they got there and I figure if he was doing it there would be more evidence SOMEWHERE, but there's none, it's totally clean and he hasn't had a chance to clean anything before we searched through together. There also weren't any time when the entire history has been cleared for at least a year, which is when the computer automatically deletes anything. Furthermore, if he was deleting the porn he was looking at he would have been careful enough to delete something with a title in all caps advertising porn and I would have noticed if there was something else there. I'm still wary to believe him. Lying is a big deal to me as I don't think I will be able to ever trust someone who lied about something big to me.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (11 May 2010):
How can pop ups showed in the history ?Definitely impossible. And you don't get pop ups if you don't go to those sites. He is most probably lying.
Why was he furious if he did not do it?
Most men will lie about porn.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): I personally think he is lying to you. Why would he have "pop ups" like that if he was not at least visiting a porn site? He was most likely watching it and he doesnt want to admit it now because he already told you he didnt. I never recieve pop ups that have to do with porn. The only time it has ever happened to me was when I accidently typed "facebook" in wrong and a porn site came up along with about 10 pop ups. If you saw it on his history, I am sorry to say, it was not a pop up unless he was visiting some sort of site.
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