A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for three years and although I am a student, my partner works with an estate agency and just two weeks ago he told me he'd like to get married in three years but the problem is my parents would want me to get married to a university degree holder and whenever i ask him about his school, he just gives me excuses.Before we got into the relationship, he'd told me he was in his second year in the university but he doesn't go to school and he never talks to me about school. He likes to play rugby and believes in this sport so much that he does nothing else except play it. I was even the one that talked him into accepting the job at the estate agency. I am really confused now because I dont know if he's telling me the truth about his education.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): The best thing you can really do is confront your partner, especially as serious things have happened such as getting married. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with him, he has to be honest with you.
Don't worry about what your parents' expectations because they can't take control of your life. You're old enough to make your own decisions in life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): Well, i don't have any way of knowing if he's telling you the truth but honey... ! Who cares who your parents want you to marry? If they'll be the ones living out the rest of their lives waking up next to him every morning, then it matters what they say. But they won't.
Get that head up a little higher and make up your own mind about the man you'll marry.
WIth all that pressure on him to be this perfect educated man or else there's no future, i don't blame him for lieing.
~Sy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): on one hand i can see why your parents would want you to marry an educated man because they will want the best for you and know he will be able to financially support you and a family in the future. On the other hand however is that if you love this man and want to marry him i think your family should accept this as it is your choice and they would want you to be happy. Are you parents pretty strict on this issue? University is not for everybody, there have been sucessfull people who have got where they want to be in life and with a high wage without a degree although it is less likly to happen. Drive and ambition are more important than education; education just makes success easier.
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A
female
reader, sunshine123  +, writes (21 August 2009):
Considering he doesnt elaborate on the topic of education may mean he has something to hide. Perhaps he knew education was so important to you so he lied in order to be with you. In any case you shouldnt let education come between you both, if he is important to you and you love him then nothing else should matter. Dont let something so insignificant influence your choises.On another note you must comfront him about this issue, he shouldnt be lying to you regardless, but i could understand if he did, he wants to impress you.You really need to sit him down and make him feel comfortable enough to confess and open up to you.Most importantly, dont let your parents wants and needs take over your own desires, at the end of the day its YOU in the relationship, not them.Hope ive helped
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