A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There was always some chemistry between a friend of mine and I, but we never acted on it. I know when it comes to romance he is quite shy. This other guy who is a close friend of ours (the one who introduced us to each other) would often tell me this guy wouldn't shut up about how he dreamed of having a relationship with me, how he liked so many things about me, etc. I was also attracted to him, but we basically never talked about this or acted on it. We're both a bit shy, romantic wise.A few years later, I moved to another country. I hate goodbyes, so I didn't tell people, and didn't make farwell parties. The guy lost my number, since I had to change it. About a year later, he also moved to a different country (not the same one I'm in). Recently, two years after we lost touch, he texted me. That common friend of ours went to visit him, and had my new number, so he asked for it. I was so happy to hear from him. In that first convo, we reminisced about the fun memories we had, adventures and stories along our friendship, and we told each other we miss each other. He asks if I mean it and could he visit. And right there and then, books a flight and a hotel for himself, for a month later. We kept in touch, and he finally arrived. For work reasons, he couldn't stay for more than 4 days. First day we were mind blown, spent it talking about all that's new in our lives. Dinner and drinks. Then I come home, he sleeps at the hotel. Second day sightseeing, lots of talking, fun dinner, conversation over drinks... And when we were getting ready to go home, he kissed me. We went for a walk, he was holding my hand, hugging and kissing all the time. Then we parted, to go to sleep. He didn't try anything sexual, he didn't try to get me to go to his hotel. On the third day, I took him for a little road trip, had lunch in a beautiful place, spent the day together. Lots of kissing and hand holding. Then dinner. Don't know if this is relevant but he never lets me pay for anything, meals, drinks... Later that day, his last night here, was so much fun. We laughed and talked for hours. When it got late we said good night. Again, he didn't suggest I stay at the hotel, just showered me with a lot of sweet, romantic kissing, with passion but without any "hardcore groping" or anything :PThe fourth day is today. I could barely sleep. He keeps saying he is completely in love with this country, he wants to come back, and it's a country where he'd see himself living. We're meeting for lunch in a few hours, then I'll drop him at the airport. He has told me several times, whenever I couldn't decide what part of the city to show him next, that he is loving the city but it doesn't really matter if he doesn't see all the "must see" sights because he is coming back, and because he came here to see me, not the city.I am very confused. He never even hinted about spending the night together. Is he not sexually attracted to me, or just taking things slow? All the feelings I had for him came back to me even stronger than before. What is going on here? Was this a 4-day-long first date? Or was the kissing just part of the holiday context, a little holiday fling? What should I do today? I know most people would give this advice, the "why don't you just talk to him?" But he is a bit of a shy guy, and if this is just him wanting to take things slow, I don't want to suddenly rush him into talking. Our friendship is important to us. Plus, ldr is very risky, specially at the start of a relationship. So if any of these thoughts are crossing his mind, I don't want to pressure anything, because I wouldn't want to be pressured either, this is a lot to take in. Is there a way to show that I have deep feelings for him without having a conversation that might rush things? Also, from his attitude, do you think, from your outside perspective, that this guy likes me?I feel like I'm really falling for him. Actually I feel like I've been falling for him since the day I met him, many years ago, but only now I realized this might be the real thing and I don't want to let something so special get away from us again. Thank you for reading. I appreciate your help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2014): He sounds amazingly sweet.
He flew to see you. How much more proof do you need that he likes you.
He didn't sleep with you because the build up feels incredible doesn't it?
Enjoy each day as it comes.
Don't be afraid to say how you feel. He knows your personality and that's what he fell in love with. If you had a great time and you want to see him again do say so.
But it's too early to start thinking about moving countries. Remain practical and spend more time with each other first.
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