A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi... i really need advice. i have been in an off and on relationship for 8 months already with a marine. he recently came back from iraq when me and him met.he suffers from depression and ptsd. its been really hard to keep our relationship going. he has told me that i deserve better and that me and him shouldn't be together. what does he mean by that? but then after we break up he keeps coming back to me. is this healthy? he tells me he loves me... but does he really? or is he just saying it to get into my pants? (no we haven't had sex.. i'm a virgin and i don't feel ready)i am so confused i dont know if this relationship is going to be the same roller coaster. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Auntie Stoned +, writes (10 February 2009):
Missy, he has a problem that is emotionally and mentally draining. Are you up for it? He keeps coming back to you because he has nowhere to seek suppport outside of the military. This happens to alot of soldiers coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan. They dont get much support from family and friends. Try to read more about depression and PSTD on soldiers back from deployment (go to this website : www.armytimes.com). Then ask yourself if you can love him and handle his problem.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 February 2009):
 The answer to your first question is really quite easy; you say he has depression and ptsd so obviously he is going to have low self-esteem so that is where those comments come from; in terms of loving you then there isnt enough detail here to really tell one way or the other. I suspect yes in his way he does love you though it seems to me he is quite dependent on you....which leads me to my main point.
I think the big question you need to be asking yourself is given the fact you have had a similar experience in the past is is this relationship healthy for you? It seems obvious to me that this is all draining you emotionally and that to my mind is definatly not healthy. Really it's up to you as to realistically you think you can take it; however, i do feel you should make a quick descision about whether this relationship is right for you because the longer you leave it the more tricky it is going to become to extricate yourself from, it already seems that he is quite dependant on you for his support and until he is better that will only increase.
Good luck :)x
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