A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After looking through my fiancee's phone i noticed a girls number from work in the recieved calls listings, i asked him why she called him and he denied all knowledge untill i said it was an answered call. later i realised the same time he got the call he had recieved a dirty text from the lads at work "just wondered if u fancy meeting up 4 a f***, only jokin..." i put two and two tgether and realised he must have forwarded the message to the girl in question.( must have a close relationship to know she would not be offended by it).. he denied it for weeks swearing on his daughters life and even to the point of me throwing him out unless he told me the truth; he then addmitted it.He has also lied about using the internet to rack up £50 debt for porn sites until i confront him with the letter ,he now says he wont even touch the computer because he cant trust himself not to go on porn sites! Is it me just being a nag or have i really a reason for worrying constantly? i keep trying to talk but always bottle out, i have nagged before about him being unfaithfull is he just being a lad? We've been together four years with kids .
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): No your not a nag, he has stepped over the trust line. I've been down the same road as your going down now. My partner swore on his sons life many times that he wasn't cheating on me and all the time he was. Like you I always bottled out. It took me six years to find out the truth, and i only found out because i hacked into his email account and found pics of him having sex with loads of different women, plus emails and swinging sites he was a member of. When I confronted him with it he said it wasn't him. When I showed him the pics i'd printed off he had to admit to it all. We went to relate for months, I agreed to give him a second chance, which I'm trying to do but its very hard, I can't really give you much advice, all I can say is try to talk to him and get him to go to relate with you. he may be a sex addict, so he'll need help to admit to that if he is, relate will help in that respect. If he is it wont be easy but I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do x
A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (10 February 2009):
 If he is ages with you i think he is long gone by the lads bit! You were right to question him about the text i would have done exactly the same thing why is he lying?
I would also be very concerned about his obsessiveness with the porn if he is paying to view sites and racking up debt and you have young kids i would be taking this very seriously.
If he is promising to stay clear of the computer because he cant trust himself then he has a problem if i were you i would get porn blockers on your PC you cannot risk your young children viewing images accidentally!
No your not a nag you need to talk with him about these issues dont bottle out just talk to him about your concerns you both have young children together and he is behaving like he has no responsibility and is quite happy to allow you to have all the responsibility while he behaves like Jack The Lad!
You both need to discuss these issues and try to resolve them if you are to remain as a couple he learns to respect you and gets rid of certain behaviours he is displaying keep us posted.
Gina
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