A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I made a big mistake last summer and had a no strings attached relationship with a guy for about 3 months. I started to have feelings for him so I called it off. I always thought that he did have feeling for me too but that he was afraid of commitment. One night he did admit that he wanted to be more serious but then I think his fear took over again. We decided to end it anyway. About four months had passed with zero contact and then out of the blue he talks to me via the internet and asked me to hang out with him. He invited me to a party at his house and we got along really great but I was upset that we didn't get to resolve any of these issues and it felt a little awkward to say the least. About a week later, I bumped into him while I was out and about and he gave me three big hugs and we had a cute conversation. He also told me that his phone has been broken and he lost my phone number. He asked if he could have it. I know that his phone is still broken because I actually tried to call it today and it went straight to voicemail All of this has happened in the last three weeks. I guess what I want to know is: does he want to be more than just friends and actually give a relationship a shot? I really can't understand what is going through his mind. We were not really close friends to begin with so I don't know why he has decided to contact me all of a sudden. He has said things in the past that lead me to believe that he has a low self esteem and I think this is why he is behaving so wishy washy. Is he just afraid to tell me how he really feels or is he really a loser? Thanks for reading this long story! Your comments will be most helpful. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, thanks for the advice. It did help me relax a little bit and I stopped analyzing it so much. However, I think I may have gotten myself into a worse situation. Last weekend he invited me to a party. He was flirting a little and being really respectful. We both had a little too much to drink and we ended up sleeping together. Just before this I had told him that I wanted to be closer friends and that we should go on dates but not be too serious about it. I know he is a commitment phobe because someone has hurt him very badly in the past. He thought this was a good idea but he is still worried about being in a relationship. He told me that he really missed me while we were apart and that he did care about me. He was really affectionate the next day and he said he would call me soon. I hope he doesn't think that I want to have a casual relationship with him again. I can't believe he would do that to me but I'm worried that this is exactly what he is up to. Is it possible that he really does want to work on it and take it slow? Thanks again!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): I'd say your probably overanalyzing this. I'm sure he likes you & wants to hang out & everything. But I really doubt that he wants to jump into a serious relationship. Or he could just want the same type of relationship you had before. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to pick his brains. Just hang out with him so if something happens it can happen more naturally.
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