A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went abroad on a mini-vacation for a few days and met a guy. We clicked, but I was afraid to develop feelings for him, so I started to act aloof. That made him act the same way. I think he couldn't really understand the sudden change in my behavior and began to resent me a little. However, we had friends in common and continued to hang out. Couple of days before I left, we had sex and it was great. When I got back, I realized I can't stop thinking about him. But I am afraid I blew it, because he probably thought that I just wanted to have a casual fling. Otherwise, I think it could've been more than that, at least that's what I was able to tell from the way he was acting towards me. Now I occasionally speak to him online and it seems like he likes me but doesn't want to let on, because we live so far away from each other, and he isn't sure whether I really like him too. However, I realized that I do like him a lot, and would do just about anything to reunite somehow. I now want to write him an e-mail telling him how I feel. Is that a good idea, and is there a chance this could work? Maybe he's crossed, and feelings he initially had for me are out of his heart? When I speak to him online he is nice one day and brief the next. When i ask him how his weekend was, he sounds lonely and a little bitter. What should I do? Am I imagining things, or should I pursue this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 Im not saying that holiday romances never work out, just that its suddenly a lot different when you're suddenly thrown back into real life... ie you don't have 24 hours a day to spend with someone, you have to factor in the real life issues of jobs or studying and other families and friends and most importantly, all the personal problems you have that you can ignore on holiday but that are very present when you're back home.
You ask if you're imagining things... well only you can answer that since none of us have spoken to him but let me ask you this... when you finish talking to him and you're happy because he's been chatty, do you ever consider you might have read too much into some of the things he said? That's a pretty safe indicator of whether you're imagining things or not but it's also a hard question to answer honestly.
If you do decide to give things another try I wish you the best of luck.
CD
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