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Is he just messing me about? How can I encourage him to be more commited?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 September 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i really like this guy but there is some history between me and him and our close friends so its difficult for us to be together.

He says that he relly likes me as well but he doesnt put the effort in and i found out that he has been "seeing" another girl casually, which he of course didnt tell me.

Is he just messing me about and any ideas on how i can encourage him to be more commited to one girl?

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A female reader, Ears4tears United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2007):

Ears4tears agony auntHave you thought maybe he might be thinking the same as you, you have already said that you have history and that it would be difficult to be together so maybe although he generally likes you he simply doesnt think it could work and see's no point in persuing somethink that could end in tears for both of you. If things could be as difficult as you say then personnally your better off as mates because history has a way of biting us on the ASS when we least expect it!!Hes meet someone else, so you should do the same hun.... the hunt is much more exciting!!!! have fun xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2007):

Of course he is "messing with you." I mean he "says" he likes you but puts no effort and is seeing another girl??? WOW. He must be in love. NOT.

Like OF COURSE he is messing with you. How do you encourage someone to be serious? Well you already have. He's seen you. He's talked to you. You have been receptive. You don't have to do anything else. That should be enough encouragement for him. And if he still is not serious then he just doesn't like you as much as he says, if at all. That is the reality.

If for some crazy reason you still think he needs more encouragement then at that point you are just going to be playing the fool. You could swallow your pride and self respect some more and KEEP contacting him and giving him a "chance" even after he has been such a utter jerk to you. Maybe you can juggle some cups for him while you are at it.

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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2007):

leanne.od agony aunti say it quite often but men under 25 are still "experimenting" and are far to immature to become commmitted to anyone. you cannot force anyone to make a commitment they do not want to, it has to be their decision. he wants his cake and wants to eat it too. he's stringing you along incase things don't work out with the girl he is seeing. i hope you have the self respect and dignity to walk away and find someone who deserves you.

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