A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We live in a very wealthy seasonal place. I am beginning to think my boyfriend is a walker. In case you don't know a walker is someone who escorts ladies to events, dinners, etc. My bf of 9 months said he was angry with me so he did not come to an event I was hosting. Instead he took a much older woman "friend" for a drink saying he had not seen her and that he was mad. We went to a party together I had wine and I asked him if he liked older women and what was he doing, his reaction was enormous and we broke up and he said he would probably regret this.. He said I was drunk but I question this. We got back together as friends then he pushed it back to a relationship but he said he wants to go out with his friends for good conversation - his friends being these older women who are in for the season. He also said he is only with me. How do I know if he is really a walker? When we split he had his photo as various events with various women. We are now on a break - he has had loads of stress. But the clincher he went away with an older woman friend - so what do you think? He needed to get away or is he hiding something? I used to think he was honest and classy and he has a very successful business but now I don't know. I really can't understand why a man would want to hang out with these older women and not be with me who has everything going for her. What are your thoughts? Is he just a big baby searching for a mother when he is hurt or just a jerk or do you think he is a walker going to events and getting free dinners. I don't know at this point but he will be calling and I can't decide whether to take the call.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 March 2009):
 Stop, take a deep breath, and re-read what you wrote. Do it as if you were on here simply answering a question.
I think you already know the answer to your question, but you're trying to justify it as something else because you want the relationship to work out. Although people have different personalities, if I were asked if I was escorting, I'd come back with a smart ass answer, such as, "I can get paid hanging with old people", or "When should we get it started." Something like this, if he were not hiding something, would take it as a joke. Those who become offensive usually aren't being truthful with their dealings. It may not even be the escorting, but something that you don't know, that he's doing.
If you want to confront him, don't accuse, do so to seek resolution. Tell him the signs show there is something going on, and you want to talk about it. Understand, some people make a lot of cash escorting, and it doesn't mean they are having sex. Although I don't agree with the profession, in today's economy, hanging with old women, and free dinners, plus a paycheck, beats flipping burgers. I'm not saying what he's doing is okay, but try to see it from both your side, and his.
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